


Howard's Love

by Boosher555



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Danger, Drama, Howard really loves Vince, Hurt/Comfort, Love and healing, M/M, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 76,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boosher555/pseuds/Boosher555
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dark fic: Vince is attacked by a jealous admirer, and Howard is left in shock. Will Howard's love be enough to save Vince or will it be impossible for the electro boy to ever heal again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was late that Friday night, but not as late as it would usually get. Howard was still awake on his bed when he heard the sound of light footsteps on the stairs and before he knew it, Vince opened the door to the bedroom quietly as he didn’t want to wake up the Jazz maverick. 

There was no need to be quiet, though. Howard sat up in his bed and turned on the lights to let Vince know that he wasn’t asleep.

“Vince? Why are you home so early?” Howard asked his friend in a tired, confused voice. “It’s only 2am! You never leave the club before 5 in the morning. Didn’t you have fun?”

“Don’t worry, Howard, the club was genius,” Vince whispered to him and grinned reassuringly, “I just didn’t feel like stayin’ tonight.”

Howard kept his eyes on his friend as he sat down on the opposite bed. All of a sudden, he felt quite overwhelmed and he knew that he was dangerously close to blushing; Vince looked stunning. The young electro boy was wearing tight, red satin trousers and an even tighter black satin shirt that revealed his lean, skinny frame. The top buttons on the shirt were left open, and Howard bit his lip as he realised that Vince’s chest was exposed. 

“Uh…” Howard swallowed hard and blinked a couple of times. “Too crowded perhaps? Or were you just tired?” 

Vince shook his head and leaned back against the wall, seemingly determined not to break the eye-contact he had with Howard. (If only he knew how Howard felt every time he looked into those big, blue eyes of his that could outshine a pair of sapphires.) 

“No, I wasn’t tired.” Vince admitted and shrugged. “And it wasn’t more crowded than usual. A couple of guys asked me to dance a few times, but I didn’t like the way they looked at me so I told them no. But I didn’t even leave because of them.”

“No?” Howard didn’t know why, but it suddenly felt like he was connected to his friend in a manner that was rather new, rather profound. Vince was sitting there in front of him, looking at him, talking to him like Howard was the most important person in the universe. Howard sensed a swelling feeling in his own chest. Vince could have stayed at the club with his numerous friends, he could have danced all night, surrounded by his admirers, he could have been anywhere out there in the fun, exciting, wild streets of London. But instead, he was here. Right in front of Howard. And Howard was dying to know why. 

Vince shrugged again as he relaxed against the wall. “I think I left because… Well, just because I felt like it.” He said. “I guess I was hopin’ to catch you while you were still awake, although I really feared you’d be asleep by now. You always go to bed so early, Howard.”

Vince teased Howard by adding an accusing tone as he said this, and now he was grinning at his friend, looking innocent but at the same time, mischievous as ever. Howard’s breath got stuck in his throat and he didn’t know what to say. Had Vince come home early because of him? What did this even mean? 

“Did you come home early because you wanted to see me?” Howard realised that he probably sounded desperate and slightly pathetic. “But why?”

“I just wanted to talk to ya!” Vince announced, looking a bit more serious this time. “I feel like it’s been ages since we’ve talked, just you and me, Howard.”

“What? No it hasn’t!” Howard could feel his cheeks burning, and so he pulled the covers up closer to his face. He truly hoped that Vince didn’t notice. “We talk every day, Vince. We live and work together, remember?”

“That’s not what I mean.” Vince said, leaning forward and intensifying the way he looked at Howard. “We haven’t done anythin’ together just the two of us since… Well, I don’t really remember. Naboo and Bollo are always with us, and some days I feel like you have been talkin’ to them more than me.”

It wasn’t that Vince sounded sad or hurt, but the look in his eyes still made Howard flinch as the guilt washed over him. He really didn’t mean to ignore Vince, or hide behind Naboo and Bollo. He really didn’t mean to, but yeah, it had happened anyway, more times than he was willing to admit. 

“I’m sorry about that, little man.” Howard said in his nonchalant voice. “We can spend more time together, just the two of us, if you want. In fact, there is a TV documentary about the history of jazz tomorrow…”

“No way!” Vince interrupted his friend, half grinning, half scolding. “When I said that I wanted to spend more time with ya, Howard, I meant quality time! And jazz has nothin’ to do with quality.”

Howard opened his mouth as he thought of a clever come-back, but in the end, he simply gave up. He could barely look Vince in the eyes anymore. Especially not when his friend was wearing that glittery eye-shadow and his hair was all… all straightened, shiny and perfect. It hurt every time he thought about it. Every time he heard Vince laugh or every time he smelled his friend’s hairspray. It just hurt, and Howard knew that he needed to look away.

“Hey, Howard, are you okay?” Vince’s voice was all soft and full of concern, and Howard’s heart grew bigger in his chest, filling him with even more pain. (The sweet, dangerous kind of pain). “Howard, look at me. Please.”

Howard told himself to stop being so childish, and so he turned his head around and cast a look upon his friend. Big mistake. Vince smiled at him, calmly. His blue eyes were shining and all Howard could think of was what it would feel like to touch the smooth, soft skin of his or perhaps even feel the warmth of his lips on his own… Oh bloody hell, what a wanker he was! No wonder people thought he was pathetic. This was Vince – Vince for crying out loud – his best friend through so many years. Howard couldn’t look at him this way, he just couldn’t. And he certainly couldn’t shut him out either, just because he was having a crazy daydream every now and then. That wouldn’t be fair to the young electro boy who obviously didn’t suspect a thing.

Vince sighed quietly, and his eyes grew slightly darker. “See, that’s the look you’ve been givin’ me all week. No, all month I think.” Vince sighed again and looked down at his own hands. This time, he truly looked upset and Howard wanted to kick himself for making his friend feel this way.

“What look?” Howard asked as though he didn’t know what Vince was on about. “I haven’t been giving you any looks, have I?”

“Yeah you have.” Vince insisted. “You’ve been giving me really sad stares for ages now, Howard, and it makes me feel really weird. I didn’t say anythin’ to hurt you, did I? Please tell me what it is, because I can’t stand the idea of you being mad at me…”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on, little man,” Howard changed his position on the bed, feeling alert, “I’m not mad at you, Vince. Why would you think that?”

“Well, you’ve been avoidin’ me all week.” Vince told him straight. “Every time we’ve been alone together, you’ve made some weird excuse about havin’ to be somewhere else even though I know that’s not true. I asked you if you wanted to come with me to Topshop, you said no, I asked you if you wanted to come with me to this new, genius night club, you said no, I asked you if you wanted to hang out and just practise our new gig, you said no.” Vince looked down in the floor as though he was beginning to feel uncomfortable about the conversation. “I’m starting to think that you have a problem with me, Howard.” 

And there it was. The final stab of guilt. Howard couldn’t stand it anymore. He couldn’t bear to see Vince looking so worried an unsure of himself. 

“No – god no, I don’t have a problem with you, Vince.” Howard got up from his bed and he went over to sit next to his small, skinny mate on the opposite one. “Listen to me, you didn’t do or say anything wrong. I’m sorry if I’ve been acting like a berk recently. I didn’t mean to ignore you, I swear.”

As soon as Howard had sat down next to him, Vince lightened up instantly and he quickly grew confident enough to smile again. “Do you really mean that?” He said in a much happier voice, and he was his old self again.

“Sure I do.” Howard assured him and tried his hardest to smile, even though looking into Vince’s precious, gentle face still hurt him more than anything. How could he even begin to describe how beautiful Vince was? How the sound of his cheerful, ecstatic voice and the look of his delicate features made every day of Howard Moon’s lonely, pathetic life worth living… 

Vince interrupted his chain of thoughts by wrapping his arms around Howard’s neck and pulling him into a fierce, heart-felt hug that could have squeezed the breath out of Howard, had the smaller man’s arms not been so skinny and unmuscular.

“Thank god,” Vince breathed near Howard’s ear, and the jazz maverick could feel his own heart beating faster and faster, “the last thing I wanted was for you to be hurt, Howard. That would have been so awful…”

Howard just nodded. He was unable to speak a single word. As his poor, confused heart kept pounding in his chest, his small eyes became slightly watery and he knew that his shaky voice would have betrayed him. How could he live on like this? How could he pretend that everything was fine, that there was no pain in the world, and how could he even stand to be in the same room as Vince when he… when he loved him so much that he just wanted to die!

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

A few days later, Howard and Vince were driving home from a gig together, the van stuffed with a few of their instruments and, frankly, piles of Vince’s outfits. The punk hadn’t been sure what to wear, and as they were running late, he had been forced to bring all his options with him. Vince had tried on outfit after outfit in front of Howard, forcing the miserable jazz maverick to help him pick the most stylish, sparkling clothes that would truly remind everyone that he was, in fact, Vince Noir, rock n’ roll star. But to Howard Moon, of course, he was rather Vince Noir, love of his life, and for that reason, the ache in his chest returned when he had to watch his friend wearing his shiny clothes and a big grin. He hadn’t even been able to tell Vince just how beautiful he looked, as much as he had wanted to. He had chickened out once again and merely told his friend that it didn’t matter what he wore – that people were there for the ‘sophisticated, jazz-influenced music’, not for the stage show. 

Lies. It was all lies. Howard knew better than anyone that people had only showed up to look at Vince and admire him from afar. And Howard didn’t blame them. Vince had looked magical as always. Adorable, admirable – gorgeous. He had won over every single one of them with his charms. 

As they were heading home in the van, Vince looked over at Howard before putting on one of his mixed tapes. As soon as ‘Cars’ began to play, Howard sighed loudly and gave his friend a quick look of annoyance.

“Is this another one of your Gary Numan tapes?” He groaned miserably. “Vince, please, haven’t I told you again and again that you should let the driver pick the music?” 

“It’s not a Gary Numan tape!” Vince told him whilst moving around in his seat to the music, happy as a clam. 

“Then why is Gary Numan playing?” Howard asked him irritably. He was sick and tired of the fact that Vince managed to ignore his song requests every single time. It was all about him. It was all about what Vince Noir wanted. Howard loved him bitterly, deeply, but God – sometimes it felt like the entire world only existed to make the young electro boy happy and grand his every wish. What about Howard Moon’s many wishes?

“It’s not a Gary Numan tape,” Vince insisted with a cheeky smile, “it’s a Howard and Vince tape! See.”

Vince skipped ahead to the next track, and Howard was stunned to find that one of his own beloved jazz songs was playing. He raised his eyebrows in surprise and looked over at Vince, his mouth falling open.

Vince was clearly amused by the expression on the jazz maverick’s face. “Look, I thought it was about time that you and I stopped quarrelling about which songs to listen to. So I made a mixed tape with both your favourites and mine. I guess that’s only fair even though my taste in music is clearly better than yours!” 

Vince was looking at Howard in anticipation. Howard was taken aback by what he had just heard. Vince did care about his wishes after all. Howard did matter to him, at least in a way. Oh, he could feel the love for his friend blossom painfully in his chest once again… 

“Well… thank you.” Howard whispered, feeling incredibly stupid. No wonder Vince didn’t love him the same way as he loved Vince. No wonder people always made fun of him. No wonder he had never kissed a woman and was still a virgin… Howard felt ashamed of himself for having groaned at Vince and for having assumed that his friend was being selfish. Vince had only been trying to lighten the mood – probably because Howard hadn’t spoken a word to him all night. He had been ignoring Vince again, pretending not to listen to him and not to care about his outfits and his make-up. And now he hated himself again for having been so foolish.

“Hey Howard, stop that.” Vince said all of a sudden.

“What?” Howard asked, his voice full of confusion. 

“Stop giving me those sad eyes. Not again. The gig was genius, everything went better than we thought it would.” Vince paused the song and looked over at his tall friend, feeling worried about him all over again. “You… You’re not mad at me, are you? I mean, if I said something to annoy you…”

“No, Vince. No. I’m not annoyed.” Howard breathed heavily without taking his small eyes off the road. Yeah, he wasn’t being convincing at all.

Vince didn’t say anything to question this. He didn’t dare ask again. Instead, he decided that Howard needed distraction. Whatever problem he was dealing with all by himself, Vince thought that he could do with some cheering up, and so he turned up the music and let it play a different tune, one of the most jolly songs he even knew. Howard turned his head in surprise as Vince began to sing along loudly, almost dancing around goofily with a funny, endearing expression on his face that made the older man’s stomach tickle. Vince never failed to make him smile. Not even this time. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” Howard asked him in a nervous voice before letting out a small giggle. He simply couldn’t help himself. 

“What does it look like I’m doin’?” Vince shook his head at him in a taunting, but loving manner. And then he broke into song once again: “I’m walking on sunshiiine…”

Howard laughed at Vince’s overly cheerful smile and his extravagant arm movements, and he felt himself loosen up. How could anyone ever feel down when Vince Noir was around? He was such a light in the dark – he always managed to breathe a little bit of life into even the darkest corners of Howard’s soul and Howard’s mind. Even his heavy heart began to hurt in a sweeter, more satisfactory way. He was breathing in Vince, and Vince was taking over his entire body and system. And Howard loved it. He never wanted to let go of him – never. He couldn’t live without someone so beautiful and happy – someone so loving and kind and gentle… 

“You really are made of sunshine and rainbows, Vince.” Howard breathed hoarsely, but maintained the content smile on his own lips. “I think you’re… you’re great.”

“Cheers, Howard,” Vince winked at him, “I think you’re pretty great, too.” 

“No, but I mean… You’re really great. You’re like the most important thing I have. I – I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Howard could feel himself blushing again and he immediately regretted every word. Even though he kept his own eyes on the road, he could sense that Vince was staring at him and he reckoned that the younger man could probably see right through him. It was only a matter of seconds before he figured it all out – before Howard had made a complete fool of himself by declaring his feelings for his only true friend in the world.

“Howard…” Vince whispered, suddenly sounding hoarse and awkward like Howard. “I…”

“No, Vince, hold on.” Howard cut him off, too nervous to hear what the other man had to say. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to freak you out. I was just trying to tell you what a good friend you are. That’s all, I promise.”

Howard’s heart was pounding in his chest once again, and he sensed Vince’s hesitation. 

“Howard,” Vince tried again, “that’s great, but I think that I need to be completely honest with you…”

Howard thought that he was going to vomit – oh no, this was Vince trying to tell him thanks, but no thanks. Of course Vince didn’t need anyone to freak him out and scare him like this by acting all shifty and intense. What was Howard even thinking? 

“No stop, please! No need to say anything, little man.” Howard chuckled nervously and it made Vince raise his eyebrows in surprise. “Let’s just forget we ever had this talk, shall we?”

Vince studied Howard’s face carefully, not sure what he was supposed to make of this. “Is that what you really want, Howard? To forget about our little talk?”

“Yes sir.” Howard answered him in an almost panicky voice. “Forget I even said a word.”

But as soon as they made it home and Howard parked the van outside of Naboo’s flat, Vince couldn’t stand his friend’s silence anymore.

“Howard,” he said and touched the larger man’s shoulder before any of them climbed out of the vehicle, “please tell me what’s going on. You’re acting all weird again.”

“No I’m not!” Howard hissed and pulled back like he’d just been stung by a bee. “Please, don’t touch me.” 

“All right.” Vince tried to hide his disappointment by looking down at his own feet. “I guess I was just trying to say that I…”

But as soon as he let go of Howard’s shoulder, the jazz maverick seized his opportunity to fleet the van and he ran towards the front door, letting himself in before Vince could even get a grip of what had just happened.

“Howard!” Vince followed his friend stubbornly into the flat, but Howard was already upstairs, trying to get as far away from the younger man as possible. “Howard! Howard, what’s wrong with you? Are we playing hide and seek or somethin’?” 

Vince ran up the stairs and he found Howard standing by the window, facing away from him. 

“Howard,” he said as he walked straight towards him, “you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Why won’t you talk to me?”

Howard took in a deep breath, knowing that there was nowhere to run this time. He had to come clean. He had to tell Vince what was going on. There was no other option. 

“I can’t… I can’t talk to you, Vince. Not right now. And not all the time.” Howard could feel himself shaking and he was glad that he couldn’t see Vince’s face and that Vince couldn’t see his either. “You have to back off and leave me alone for a while. It’s too much. I feel like… I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Vince’s face grew paler with shock. He had never thought that he should hear those words come out of his best friend’s mouth. Not in a million years. How could this be happening? It was Howard. It was his Howard! Well, not his, but as good as. How could he be losing him after so many years?

“Howard, what are you saying?” Vince gasped and moved forward even though Howard had asked him to do the opposite. “Are you getting tired of me? Did I do something? What’s wrong?”

“It’s not something you did,” Howard struggled to breathe through his own anxiety, “it’s me. I’m sorry, Vince, I just can’t be around you right now. It’s killing me – I feel like I’m drowning or something…” 

“Drowning?” Vince exclaimed dramatically. “Why, Howard? Am I smothering you?”

“Yes… No… It’s not your fault. I’ve just got some issues.” Howard trembled again and Vince could see it this time. “I’m sorry, but I’m gonna need you to step back.”

“But Howard, it’s me.” Vince stepped closer and touched the tall man’s shoulder again. “You can tell me anythin’. Don’t shut me out.”

“Don’t touch me!” Howard cried out loud and freed himself from Vince’s sweet, light touch. “Please, Vince, just leave me alone. I’m begging you!”

Vince was silent for a short moment, but then he couldn’t hold his words back. “You are mad at me. I knew it. Please, Howard, tell me what I’ve done wrong! Please, I can’t lose you – not like this. You mean too much to me. You can’t just ignore me and shut me out of your life like that. I need you, I…” Vince could barely escape the panic that was building up inside him. If he didn’t get Howard to look at him soon, he feared that he might begin to cry. “Howard, I love you!”

Howard thought that his heart skipped a beat when he heard Vince’s last words. 

“No, you don’t!” He heard himself saying and he finally spun around to look at the lean man in front of him, through very teary eyes. “You don’t love me – not as I love you, anyway. I truly love you, Vince, can’t you see that? Can’t you see how much it’s killing me every single day?”

“Killing you?” Vince repeated in a scared, desperate voice. “Howard, what do you mean? Do you really love me? And why do you run away from me if you do?”

“Because you don’t understand!” Howard blurted out. “Look at you, Vince. You’re the most popular person I know. Everybody wants a piece of you. Why would you ever settle for an old, ugly berk like me when you could have anyone you wanted?”

“You’re not ugly!” Vince told him firmly, feeling worried now that he knew how low Howard thought of himself. “You might be a little old, but I don’t care about that. Howard, it’s always been you and me, hasn’t it? I don’t care about anyone else. I don’t want anyone else…”

Vince reached out for the older man’s hand, but Howard only took a step back and snorted.

“You’re saying that now, Vince. Maybe you’re only saying it to make me feel better, I don’t know. But what will happen in one year – or in five or ten? When you find someone younger and more handsome than me who likes all the same things as you.” Howard wiped away a couple of tears. “I’m not right for you. I have no business thinking about you that way. You’re my friend – my best friend. But you could never be my… my…”

Vince thought that he could feel his own heart breaking when he watched the look in Howard’s eyes and saw him taking another step back. This could not be happening. He could not lose Howard like this. Oh bloody hell, he had waited too long to tell the poor fool the truth about how he felt!

“You’re wrong,” Vince told him and stepped forward, “you’re wrong, Howard. I could be. I really could.”

Without giving it much thought, Vince tried to lean in and kiss the crazy jazz maverick’s lips, but Howard panicked and escaped him once again. He ran out of the room, leaving Vince behind to pick up the broken pieces, and he locked himself in the bathroom, falling down to his knees immediately.

He hated himself for doing this. Why had he turned Vince down like that? The love of his life… How could he do that to him? And above all, why couldn’t Howard just accept the fact that Vince loved him back? Why couldn’t he just let himself be happy? Perhaps he didn’t feel like he deserved that kind of happiness… But Vince on the other hand, he certainly did. Howard only wanted for him to find love and be happy – but he had always assumed that that would be with someone else. 

It didn’t take long before Vince came to the door, begging for Howard to open up so that they could talk. When Howard refused like a stubborn child, he suddenly heard quiet sobs coming from the other side of the door and he knew that he had truly managed to hurt Vince’s feelings. Vince was crying – over him. Howard couldn’t believe it. Vince never cried. He was made of sunshine and rainbows and everything that was pure and good in this world. Did this mean that, perhaps, Howard was wrong after all? Maybe Vince really did understand the heartache as well as Howard did.

“Howard, I know you don’t believe me, but you’re the only one for me whether you can see it or not.” Vince was trying to speak calmly even though he hadn’t managed to keep his tears back. “I’ll never be interested in anyone else. I only want you. And I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt your feelings or made you believe that I didn’t care about you. I’m sorry.” 

That was it. Howard couldn’t stand it anymore. At first, he had truly believed that he was the only one with a heavy heart. But knowing that Vince was hurting too – that was just wrong. Howard dared not make him suffer. He opened the door quietly, and just like that, he was staring right into Vince’s confused, surprised blue eyes – bluer than the deepest oceans and ten times more beautiful. Vince began to wipe his tears away, obviously dreading what Howard was about to say to him.

“Did you just apologize to me?” Howard asked in a much more steady voice, looking into Vince’s eyes. “You never apologize. Especially not when you haven’t done anything wrong.”

Howard gave him a careful smile, and Vince blushed furiously, not knowing what to do or say all of a sudden. Howard was stepping up close to him now, and their breaths would soon begin to mingle.

“Well, that’s what love does to you.” Vince muttered without grinning at all. “It makes you do and say crazy things, right Howard?”

“Right.” Howard whispered and snaked his arm around Vince’s waist before leaning in again. “I believe you this time, little man. Forgive me for being stupid enough to ever doubt you.”

Not wasting any more time, Howard simply closed the space between them, crushing his own lips against Vince’s in a desperate, long-awaited kiss.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

The door to the bedroom was basically kicked in as Howard had his hands full. He was carrying Vince in his arms, the younger man’s legs wrapped around his waist, and as soon as they entered the dark and silent bedroom, Howard moved to push Vince up against the nearest wall. Vince moaned loudly as the larger man began to attack his neck with hot, nibbling kisses and Howard took this as a sign that he was doing it right. Even though this was his first time, he found it surprisingly easy, surprisingly natural, to touch and feel Vince up – and to let the younger man touch and feel him up, too. Howard had been waiting so long, spent so many hours just wondering, imagining, daydreaming what it would be like to feel Vince in his arms. To feel the warmth of his skin, hold him close and taste his sweet, sweet kisses… Howard didn’t want to stop. He wanted more. Oh god, it was all so good and he felt like an idiot for having waited so long for something so magical. 

Howard moved his lips across the sensitive skin of Vince’s throat and he trailed his kisses back towards his mouth. Vince wrapped his arms around Howard’s neck even tighter and brought him closer, opening up his mouth in a most welcoming manner. Howard did not hesitate to take advantage and stick his tongue down his friend’s throat – he was being frisky and confident and he loved the idea of finally being able to initiate what he desired the most.

Vince closed his eyes as Howard ravished him and deepened the kiss once again, and he enjoyed the feeling of the other man’s moustache scratching at the sensitive skin around his mouth. He couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. This was Howard – his sweet, awkward, lovable Howard who had never before allowed anyone to even touch his arm or shoulder. He loved Howard more than life itself and Howard loved him back… Nothing could ever be bad again, Vince decided as Howard’s kiss made him moan and sigh even louder. Nothing could ever hurt again after this.

Everything was bliss… 

Howard backed away from the wall after a while and carried Vince over to his own bed, pushing him down on it before placing himself on top, gently. Vince grinned widely with excitement and began to unbutton Howard’s Hawaiian shirt eagerly, raising his head so that he could whisper in the jazz maverick’s ear:

“I can’t believe I’m finally in your bed, Howard.”

Howard blushed immediately at the thought of Vince having longed for this. He opened his mouth to say something, but his brain had obviously shut down and he couldn’t think of a single word. Vince smiled up at him, adoring what he saw. He giggled sweetly and kissed Howard’s blushing cheek and Howard was overwhelmed with emotion. Vince’s smile was so angelic, so innocent – and his blue sapphire eyes, oh they were more alive than ever.

“I love you so much.” Howard whispered and bowed down to kiss the beauty that had been trapped underneath him. “You should never be allowed to leave my bed again.”

“Cheers, Howard, I would be quite happy to live here.” Vince laughed endearingly. “I love you too.”

Even though he quite enjoyed feeling Howard’s weight on top of him, Vince slowly wriggled free from underneath the larger man and changed the positions so that he was straddling him. Howard looked pretty excited by this, and Vince bowed down to kiss him whilst fingering at his now unbuttoned shirt. He eagerly pulled the shirt off Howard’s body and kissed his naked chest slowly and tenderly. Howard’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head and he could feel himself grow harder and harder. Starting to lose all self-control, Howard suddenly wrapped his arms around Vince’s skinny body and pulled himself into a position that allowed him to sit upright. With Vince balancing on his lap, Howard began to pull the skin-tight satin shirt over his head, almost gasping in delight when Vince’s chest and torso was exposed. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Howard heard himself whisper. His eyes might have been full of lust, but his voice revealed his deepest emotions and his profound love. He reached out his hand to caress and cup Vince’s face and they looked each other in the eyes.

“You really think so?” Vince asked him, and much to Howard’s surprise, he looked down, blushing shyly as though this was the first time that he had ever received a compliment from someone. (Howard knew that this was not the case). 

“Yes I do.” Howard planted a soft kiss on Vince’s naked chest, then over his marked ribs, then above his small bellybutton. “You’re the most beautiful person in the world, Vince. At least to me.”

It wasn’t long before they had stripped each other completely naked and had pressed their warm bodies close against each other’s. The two of them were rolling around in the bed, arms wrapped tightly around each other.

“Hold on a second, Howard,” Vince said and paused when he could feel Howard’s growing erection near his thigh and he knew that something was about to happen really soon, “you’re a virgin. Are you sure that you are ready for it to happen?”

Howard gave him a calm smile and wrapped his arms around the electro boy’s slender waist. “I have been ready for this in years, Vince. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

Vince placed a gentle kiss on his lips and snuggled closer. “All right. Are you nervous?”

Howard shrugged. “Maybe a little bit. But I want this, I’m sure.” 

Vince smiled at him and gave him another quick peck on the corner of his mouth. “Genius. Don’t worry, I’ll guide you if you need it. We can take it nice and slow if you prefer.”

Howard thought about it for a moment. He felt so ready… “Or we can do it like this!” He exclaimed and moved very suddenly, pinning Vince down on his back and rolling on top of him. Vince squeaked with surprise and giggled happily, loving both Howard’s confidence and eagerness. Oh yes, this was the perfect way of doing it…

However, Howard found himself slowing the pace slightly as he was about to enter the man underneath him. He knew very well that Vince wasn’t a virgin, but he still seemed so small and fragile in Howard’s arms, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt him if he let himself get carried away. 

“Howard, it’s okay. I’m not gonna break.” Vince said when he noticed the other man’s hesitance. He caressed Howard’s arm encouragingly.

“All right… Just wanted to make sure that you were ready.” Howard smiled awkwardly. Truth be told, he was relieved that Vince was encouraging him at this point. He was so ready that the throbbing was becoming painful. He didn’t really want to wait anymore.

“You’re such a gentleman.” Vince sniggered. “It’s really sweet of ya. Come here.”

Vince helped Howard relax a little bit by initiating another kiss and the jazz maverick was truly grateful for that. He could feel himself grinding against Vince, pressing their warm bodies closer together. He had closed his eyes as the kiss went on and now it was sweeping him away completely. He forgot all about his own hesitation when Vince began to roam his hands over Howard’s back, hungrily. As the two of them continued to kiss and touch each other fondly, Howard finally allowed himself to move in between Vince’s legs. As he entered him slowly, he could feel the younger man clutch the sheets with one hand and Howard’s shoulder with the other. Even though Vince had let out a small gasp, there was no indication that he was in pain or wanted Howard to stop. In fact, he bit his lip and smirked, looking sexier than ever as a lock of raven black hair fell over his eyes. His hair was a mess and for the first time in the history of Vince Noir, rock n’ roll star, the young man didn’t care.

Howard kissed Vince’s face, closing his eyes again as he entered his beloved friend fully. Vince’s body jolted slightly and for a second or two, it sounded like he was holding his breath, struggling not to gasp out loud again. But then he went back to moving his hands over Howard’s back and down towards his butt cheeks, caressing him, encouraging him to go ahead, and Howard knew that it would be all right for him to move around – to thrust. 

“I love you so much.” Howard panted in his ear as he began to move in and out of him, slowly and gently at first, but he’d soon speed up the pace. The feeling was so amazing – it seemed as though he’d been sucked into the sweetest daydream ever known to man. Howard Moon – who would ever have thought that he’d grow up to be so lucky, to experience such sweet affection? 

Vince’s arms tightened around Howard’s strong, robust body and he threw his head back in a gasp, black strands of hair falling over his face, falling on the pillow, falling everywhere – Howard bit his lip hard at the sexiness he was witnessing and moved quicker, thrusting harder and harder. Vince was finally unable to muffle his own voice and he began to moan loudly and uncontrollably. He was surrounded by Howard – Howard was all that he could taste and see and feel… Howard was without a doubt the biggest man he’d ever been with, and the sensation of Howard moving in and out of him still had Vince gasping for air and clutching at the sheets. But there wasn’t any pain – only an overwhelming pleasure. Every time Howard moved, Vince’s body moved with him, helplessly, and he was only happy to surrender himself into Howard and let him have the control of both their bodies.

He belonged to Howard Moon and no one else – it had always been that way, even if it had taken him a while to realise it. And no one else had ever made him moan and beg for more this eagerly or made his body spasm so delightfully when he thought that he almost couldn’t take it anymore.

Yes, he was Howard’s and there was no denying it. Vince Noir could have died with a smile on his face when the sweet, handsome man in question finally let out a triumphant groan and collapsed on top of him, suddenly having experienced the greatest satisfaction of all.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

They had fallen asleep in each other’s arms, in Howard’s bed. And the next morning, Vince woke up to find that Howard’s arm was still wrapped around his waist, possessively, whilst his own head was resting on the jazz maverick’s chest. He smiled sleepily and flung an arm over Howard’s stomach, hugging him dearly. 

“Vince?” Howard’s voice startled him. “You awake?”

Vince raised his head and looked up at him, smiling again. “Yeah.” He said, trying hard to supress a yawn. “You?”

“Yeah, I’m awake too.” Howard laughed and began to stroke the electro boy’s soft, smooth hair. This had Vince closing his eyes happily, obviously enjoying himself.

“Howard – last night was the best. Don’t ya think?” Vince snuggled closer so that they were face to face, Howard’s arm still around him.

Howard kissed his face and bit his lip before answering. “What happened last night, Vince,” he spoke slowly, “it has changed me. I’m a new man.”

Vince frowned in surprise and gave Howard a worried look. “What? But I never wanted you to change!” He blurted out. 

“You don’t understand,” Howard said and held him tight, “it’s a good change. You’ve opened my eyes, Vince. I can now see all that is good in this world. I am no longer a man of sorrow. I am no longer a man of loneliness. I have discovered love and happiness, thanks to you. I love you, Vincent Noir – and I always will.”

Howard’s little speech had stunned Vince and for a moment or two, he was dangerously close to blushing like a teenage girl. “Aw, Howard, you’re always so poetic,” he then breathed and kissed the older man’s cheek, “I don’t understand how you pull it off, but it’s very romantic. I love you, too.”

The compliment had Howard’s heart swelling with pride. He was never used to receiving compliments, especially not from his electro friend.

“So,” Howard smirked confidently, “was I any good last night?”

Vince took a hold of his hand and brought it up to his lips so that he could kiss it. “You were the best,” he said in all honesty, “you must be a natural. I thought you were going to make me pass out for a little while, you know.”

Howard couldn’t hold back a wide grin. He was starting to feel excited all over again. He remembered the sound of Vince’s helpless moaning and he remembered how he had thrown his head back, surrendering to every bodily sensation. Oh, they were definitely doing that again…

“You were pretty great yourself,” Howard said and squeezed his hand, “just looking at you makes my body tickle. You have no idea how sexy you are, little man.”

Vince was going to comment on Howard’s nick name for him, but as soon as he opened up his mouth to speak, Howard covered it with his own and the two of them shared a long, passionate kiss. Howard was definitely feeling playful – he was teasing Vince with his tongue and biting at his lower lip, and Vince loved it. 

“So what did it feel like?” Vince asked him when they broke apart after a minute or two. “Losing your virginity, I mean.”

“It was the most magical moment in my life.” Howard said and rolled on top of his friend once again. “I never want to be away from you again. It’s you and me, all the way. Right?”

“Right.” Vince agreed and kissed Howard’s neck, taking in the heat of his bare skin. “It’s you and me, Howard.”

The two of them had returned to kissing lazily and feeling each other up when a sudden knock on the door made both men flinch and pull away from each other.

“Are you guys still asleep?” Naboo yelled impatiently from the other side of the door and knocked again. “You’re supposed to open up the shop in thirty minutes, remember? And Vince, I know it takes ya at least forty minutes to do ya hair!”

Vince had to cover his own mouth to stop himself from giggling, and Howard gave him a dirty smile.

“Sorry, Naboo!” Vince said, sounding suspiciously happy.

“We’ll be right with you, Naboolio!” Howard lied, and this had the small shaman shaking his head.

“I told you, Bollo, they’ve started shagging each other,” Naboo said as the gorilla followed him downstairs, “I knew this would happen sooner or later.”

“Hmm, I got a bad feelin’ about this.” Bollo added. “Harold idiot. Vince precious flower.”


	2. Chapter 2

Howard and Vince opened up the shop just in time. Or rather, Howard did. Vince joined him after another thirty minutes, but when he finally came down, he wrapped his arms around Howard and kissed him tenderly.

“Sorry about taking so long,” he said, “I just wanted to look extra nice for you.”

“For me? Really?” Howard blushed instantly and forgave the younger man for letting him wait. “No problem, my dear sir. You look… well, you look breathtakingly wonderful.”

It was true. Vince was wearing a red, low-cut satin shirt with extra long sleeves that he knew Howard had always admired in secret, along with tight velvet trousers and silver boots. He had put on some black eyeliner and had even added some extra volume to his shiny raven-black hair, and suddenly, Howard adored his attention to detail instead of feeling annoyed by it. Vince smiled at him and took a seat behind the desk.

“Hey Howard, you have to come up with some better sweet names for me,” he then joked and brought his friend back to reality, “you see, ’dear sir’ doesn’t really do much for me. It’s a bit formal, don’t ya think?”

Howard thought about this and he realised the truth of what Vince had said.

“All right,” he smirked, putting on his charms, “what do you want me to call you then?”

“Surprise me.” Vince said and flashed his teeth at him in another cute smile.

Oh, the irony! Howard had been thinking up all kinds of sweet names for his future love interest since he was 16. Naturally, he had found himself waiting and waiting, surprised and frustrated that no one had yet thrown themselves at him, but none of that mattered anymore. He had never dared thinking of potential sweet names for Vince, simply because he never thought he’d be lucky enough to get in a situation where it turned out to be useful. And now… Now he had to come up with something quick.

Luckily, Howard Moon, man of action, was a good improviser.

“How about honeybunch?” He tried and winked at the young man in front of him. “Or would you prefer sugarlumps?”

Vince frowned at Howard’s suggestions, barely knowing what to say. He was fond of sweets, that was true, but those names only made him feel fat for some reason.

“I dunno, Howard,” he hesitated, “have you got somethin’ less sugary?” 

“Ah, of course I do,” Howard laughed nervously, “what if I call you, uhm… Fuzzface?” 

“Fuzzface?!” Vince cried as the repetition of the word made him flinch. “Howard, that’s awful!”

“Sorry,” Howard honestly didn’t know what he was thinking and he was beginning to panic, “how about… how about Baby-cheeks? Or Mr. Hotpants?”

“I don’t think so,” Vince shook his head as though he was feeling embarrassed on his friend’s behalf, “you gotta do better than that!”

“I could call you Angel-man?” Howard tried, looking genuinely desperate as he blurted out one final stab in the dark: “Good old-fashioned lover boy?!”

Vince just got up from the chair and kissed Howard’s cheek. “How about I give you some time to think about it, yeah? We have all day to ourselves, don’t we?”

“Yeah,” Howard laughed and threw his arms around his un-named love, “we do.”

The day went by really quickly even though there were barely any customers in the shop. Howard and Vince were sat behind the desk together and for once, none of them left the shop in order to run errands or make spontaneous trips to Topshop. They stayed with each other, worshipping every second of peace and quiet, enjoying the fact that no one was around to steal their attention away from each other. Howard sometimes hated it when Vince’s shallow mates showed up and dragged the younger man away from him or even worse; when they stayed to make fun of Howard and his public display of jazz records. 

Thankfully, today was nothing like that. Vince was all his – he had his full attention. And even if his mates had shown up or phoned him, Howard had a feeling that Vince would have turned them down. The idea of suddenly being the most important person in Vince’s life made Howard feel something he’d never felt before. He felt significant. He felt needed. And he cherished it all the way.

“Hey Howard, check this out,” Vince said cheerfully as he put on another one of his electro music tapes and began to dance around in front of the older man, “this song is genius, don’t ya think?”

Howard leaned back in his chair and watched his friend, half smiling, half wincing. All that electro nonsense… He would never learn to understand it. But oh God, just watching Vince moving around like that… Howard felt so alive. So happy – so lucky to be around him like this.

“That’s not music, that’s rubbish,” Howard teased him, making Vince pause and give him an offended look, “but you’re quite enjoyable to watch. I love the way you move – you look so great.”

Just as Howard began to fear that he had actually upset the younger man by dissing his music, Vince leapt upon him and placed himself on Howard’s lap.

“Whatever you say, small eyes. I didn’t expect you to recognize good music, anyway.”

Vince wrapped his arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him tenderly, and Howard pulled him closer, greedy for more. This was the tenth time they had ended up in that chair together that afternoon, kissing and cuddling like there was no tomorrow, but they just didn’t grow tired of it. It was all so new, so exciting – they couldn’t wait until they got to close up the shop and return to their bedroom, in private. 

“I love how soft your lips are.” Howard sniggered like a happy fool and nudged the tip of his nose against Vince’s. “And I love feeling you up like this.”

Howard let his big hands wander across Vince’s small body, feeling up the flat stomach and, eventually, cupping his butt cheek – although, this gesture nearly had him blushing when he realised how forward he was being.

“Oi, what happened to your ‘don’t touch me’ rule?” Vince teased him even if he loved feeling the bigger man’s touch. “This is not the Howard Moon I grew up with!”

“I know,” Howard agreed and shrugged nonchalantly, “I told you, I’m a changed man. I am still Howard Moon, but I’m like a new and improved version of him. So don’t you worry, little man.”

Vince just laughed at Howard’s little rant and wrapped his arms around his stomach, tighter this time. Howard allowed himself to touch the electro boy’s fringe and remove the hair from his eyes, and he recognized a tickling sensation in his stomach when Vince met his gaze. Vince could feel Howard’s hot breath on his own lips and he couldn’t hold himself back – he longed to feel the closeness once again. Howard, picking up on this, closed the distance between them and kissed Vince slowly, making the younger man sigh gratefully. 

They both failed to hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs and so, they jolted with fear when a voice behind them groaned:

“Aw no, I did not need to see that!”

Naboo had walked into the shop as he wanted to check up on things, but the sight of his two no-good flat mates making out with each other behind the desk nearly made his stomach turn. Howard yelped and pulled back immediately when he realised who had joined them and Vince nearly fell down from his lap when he removed the arm around his waist that was steadying his balance.

“Naboo!” Vince grinned nervously and jumped off of Howard. “Good to see ya, mate. We didn’t really expect you in the shop today.”

“No, you obviously didn’t.” Naboo placed his hands on his hips.

Howard observed the look of annoyance on the small shaman’s face and he began to panic. “Naboolio,” he exclaimed awkwardly, “my dear friend, it’s not what it looks like. I can explain. You see, we were just… uh, we were just trying to…”

“That’s enough, Howard, I don’t need an explanation from you.” Naboo held up his hand and Howard shut up immediately. “I knew that the two of you had started shaggin’. But could you please try not to scare away my customers by doin’ this in public? It’s not pretty to watch, you know.”

“Sorry, Naboo.” Vince quickly accepted the fact that Naboo knew everything so he didn’t even try to come up with excuses. “But I seriously doubt that a little snogging would scare anyone away. I saw my own reflection in the mirror when Howard and I were kissing over there earlier,” Vince pointed to the corner of the shop, “and we look pretty great together if you ask me!”

Naboo pulled a face that suggested otherwise, but before he could make a comment that it looked like Vince was making out with his own dad, Howard interrupted him:

“Vince, was that why you insisted on making out in the corner? So that you could see yourself in the mirror on the wall?” Howard huffed, but thought to himself that Vince’s vanity was actually kind of adorable. “And Naboo, how did you know that we started… uhm – that we’ve been intimate with each other? It only happened last night so no one could have told you anything.”

“Oh please,” Naboo said, “I’ve just been waiting for this to happen. It was pretty obvious, even non-shamans could have seen it comin’. Besides, Vince has been tellin’ me that he’s got a crush on ya for weeks now, not that I understand why. It was only a matter of time before you two ballbags confessed to each other.”

Howard frowned at Naboo’s insults, but chose to ignore it. Instead he turned to Vince and smiled self-consciously. “You’ve had a crush on me for weeks? And you told Naboo about it?”

Vince fell awkwardly silent, and he looked down at his own feet. “Well… Yeah. I had to tell someone, because I was too scared to tell you.”

Howard could only sympathise. Oh, they had both been so blind and stupid. If only they had confessed their feelings for each other a lot sooner. 

“Come here.” Howard said and opened up his arms in a welcoming gesture. Vince practically jumped into Howard’s embrace with a big smile on his face and the two of them shared a long, silent hug.

“Not again,” Naboo sighed and turned his back on them, “I’m out of here. You two, try not to scare any more people away before you close up the shop. I don’t want this place to attract a bad reputation.” 

“Wait, where are you going, Naboo?” Vince asked the small shaman who was already on his way out. 

“I’m gonna go out to get myself some new supplies before it gets dark. An’ I’m takin’ Bollo with me.” 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

“Do you think Naboo’s mad at us?” Vince quizzed Howard when they were about to close up for the day. “He seemed almost… disgusted.”

“Well, that’s to be expected, given that he’s practically an asexual himself.” Howard said coolly, as though he had it all figured out. “I don’t think Naboo has ever found anyone or anything attractive.”

“Yeah, but… I’m not used to people pulling faces at me.” Vince complained.

“If it helps, little man, I think he was pulling a face because of me, not so much you.” Howard went over to kiss the top of Vince’s head. “Don’t worry, no one’s disgusted by anything you do. How could they be?”

“Cheers Howard.” Vince was smiling again. Yes, cheering him up had always been that easy.

“I’m closing up the shop now,” Howard said as he walked over to lock the door and turn the sign hanging in the window, “it’s just about 5.30.”

“All right,” Vince said, “I’ll make some tea then. D’ya want some?”

“Yeah, sure.” Howard smiled at him, gratefully. “Thanks.”

Vince left the shop, and Howard followed him with his eyes almost longingly.

“He’s making me tea.” He thought to himself, his heart beating a little faster. “He hasn’t done that since we worked at the zoo.”

Howard was standing behind the closed door, gazing out through the window for a second or two before locking up. That was when his eye caught the shadows of three men walking past the shop, in a rather slow pace. Howard knew that he shouldn’t stare like that, although the men did attract his attention for some inexplicable reason. As he stayed put behind the window glass, though, it appeared that the men noticed him as well. And even worse, they noticed his staring, too. Howard could almost feel his own stomach grow heavy and his palms slightly sweaty. Oh, this was awkward… It was dark out there, but Howard could tell that the men whispered something to each other and laughed out loud before moving closer to the shop window.

Oh lord… they were approaching the door now, Howard realised. What were they doing? Couldn’t they tell that he was closing up the shop? Had he angered them with his nervous staring?

A rather tall guy put out his cigarette and knocked on the window glass, and Howard took a step back, involuntarily. 

“Hey,” the man called, grinning, “hey you, open up!”

Howard cleared his throat, wanting to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Uh – sorry, no can do, sir. We’re closed. Come again another day, sir.”

They probably couldn’t hear him through the closed door, but the men in the background laughed anyway, one of them pointing a finger at Howard. That was strange…

“It’s okay,” the tall man said and knocked on the window again, “you can let us in. We’re uh… We’re friends of Vince Noir. This is where he lives, yeah?”

Friends of Vince Noir… Howard suddenly drew a breath of relief. For a moment or two, he had thought that these blokes had come here to harass him or something.

“Oh!” Howard gave them an awkward smile. “Yeah, he lives here. Do you want me to get him for you?”

Again, the three men exchanged a cheeky grin that could easily have sent shivers down Howard’s spine because he didn’t understand what was so funny.

“Nah, that’s all right, mate. Just let us in, yeah? We just want to talk to him for a moment.”

Howard hesitated. He didn’t really want to let them in, but they were Vince’s friends and he didn’t want to upset the electro boy by rejecting them and making a scene. If there was anything Vince hated, it was embarrassment. 

“Uh, sure thing.” Howard tried to sound a lot calmer than he really was. “One moment, please.”

Just as Howard’s fingers began to work at the lock, Vince returned to the shop with two cups of tea in his hands. He had heard Howard’s voice and a sudden curiosity had made him wonder who he might be talking to. 

“Howard,” he said, and there was a clicking sound when the front door unlocked, “what are you doing? I thought we were closing for the day?”

“Ah Vince,” Howard smiled and looked over his shoulder for a brief second, which wasn’t enough time to fully register the confused look in Vince’s eyes, “it’s all right, you’ve got a few friends here to see you. I’m just letting them in.”

Howard opened the door politely, and before Vince could tell him that these strangers were no friends of his, the three men entered the shop almost eagerly. The smaller one of them shut the door behind him when they were all inside and Howard did think he was being a little forward.

“All right!” The tall one of them said and stepped forward. “What a nice place you’ve got here!”

Vince’s eyes grew slightly bigger and he studied the men nervously. They were all wearing black leather jackets and jeans, along with big-healed boots. They all seemed pretty muscular and kind of rough, but one in particular was much taller and much bigger than the rest. It was the man that had been talking to Howard, and now that Vince took a look at him, there was something almost threatening about the way he smiled and the way his cronies stood close behind him. 

“Howard…” Vince whispered, trying to attract his friend’s attention. He wanted to tell Howard that he didn’t know these people at all, although he did recognise them from somewhere. But the jazz maverick didn’t hear him.

“Thank you, sir,” Howard said, obviously welcoming the compliment, “we do like it here, sir.”

The tall man grinned and moved forward again. Without even thinking, this had Vince stepping backwards until he was practically shielding himself behind the desk. He wanted to tell Howard to follow his lead, but that would have just sounded pitiful.

“Oh, I’m sure you do. Why wouldn’t you? This place is gold.” The man sniggered. “What’s the matter with ya, Vincey-boy? Aren’t ya glad to see us?”

Howard turned around and noticed how Vince had backed away without speaking a single word to his friends. Was there a look of fear in his eyes? Howard felt rather alarmed by this.

“Vince,” he spoke quietly and gestured towards the men behind him, “what’s wrong? Don’t you want your friends here or what?”

Vince looked away from Howard and kept staring at the three men in black leather, desperately trying to remember why they seemed familiar to him.

“Yeah, what’s wrong Vincey?” The smaller man closest to the door said, imitating Howard’s voice in a mocking manner. “Don’t ya want your dear old friends here or what?”

Vince put the tea cups down on the desk and he finally gathered the courage to speak up. “I… I don’t know you. I’m sorry, but I think you should leave.”

There was a moment of dead silence in the room before the three men in the leather jackets began to howl with laughter and this time, it really did make Howard shiver uncomfortably.

“Vince, what are you on about?” Howard moved over to the desk. “Don’t you know these people?”

Vince simply looked Howard in the eyes and shook his head, his body a little stiff. “No, I mean… I think I might have seen them before, but they are definitely not my friends. I – I don’t even understand how they know my name.”

Feeling alarmed by this, Howard opened his mouth but he was quickly interrupted when the tall man walked up behind him and leaned in over the desk, locking eyes with Vince.

“What’s that, little darling?” He chuckled in a slightly darker voice. “You don’t remember us? Oh, you have no idea how disappointed I am…”

Howard thought that the geezer was getting a little too close and it was obviously beginning to freak Vince out. It was about time that Howard Moon, man of action, did something about this.

“Look sir, I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” he said firmly, “I think you should all leave now. Thanks for stopping by, though.”

Howard put his hand on the strange man’s shoulder, wanting to let him know that he was serious. He was used to Vince having quite a lot of friends who stopped by all the time and even messed up the shop occasionally and he had even learned to accept that. But this was the first time ever that he’d seen Vince react this way – the poor soul looked so anxious to get rid of them. However, the man leaning against the desk didn’t take kindly to Howard’s simple gesture, and he slapped the maverick’s hand away, aggressively.

“Don’t you dare touch me, you ugly bugger!” He hissed viciously and waved his two mates over. “We’re not leaving until we get what we came for!”

Howard’s mouth fell open at the insult and Vince suddenly grew pale. This change of behaviour was kind of extreme and they hadn’t seen it coming. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but it is not up to you when you leave,” Howard tried again, “I’m not sure what you came here for, but…”

“Him!” The wide, tall man shrieked all of a sudden and pointed his finger at Vince. “He’s what we came for, isn’t that right, boys?”

The two friends came closer and sneered whilst agreeing eagerly. Howard didn’t like it one bit, and as soon as the big guy began pointing his finger at Vince in an almost possessive manner, Howard moved behind the desk so that he could place himself in between them. He stood up closely against Vince, guiding him closer towards the wall for protection. Vince instantly held on to Howard’s arm and the jazz maverick noticed how he was shivering.

“You’re not coming near my friend,” Howard told them spitefully, feeling an unfamiliar anger building up inside of him, “he says he doesn’t know you so you might as well give it up.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know us,” one of the friends said, “but we sure as hell know him.”

“That’s right,” the tall man agreed, putting on an even nastier sounding voice, “we’ve all seen him hanging around in clubs and bars, haven’t we? So many times that we figured you must be quite a regular, gorgeous.” 

Vince nearly gasped at the nickname, holding on to Howard even tighter as he tried not to panic. Howard backed Vince further up against the wall as he felt the young man’s fingernails digging into his skin. He wouldn’t let them get near him, he just wouldn’t. Not when they were saying things like that.

“What’s wrong, gorgeous,” the stranger went on, “you really didn’t notice us looking at you in every bar you came into? Maybe you were a little too obsessed with yourself, huh? You didn’t even notice who bought you your drinks, did you? Or who gave you all the compliments? You were surrounded by people everywhere you went, loving the attention. So when a stranger walked up to you and asked for a dance, you turned him down and forgot about him immediately, didn’t you? Well, if you haven’t figured out by now, pretty-boy, I am here to teach you some manners… I have never been rejected before. Never. I always get what I want!”

Oh Christ. Howard suddenly realised what this was about. Vince received offers from all kinds of people all the time and naturally, he’d rejected quite a lot of them over the years. But that was his right. Howard couldn’t imagine Vince with someone so scary and forceful as these guys – Vince belonged with people who made him feel happy and safe instead of threatening him into a corner, shaking with fear. Oh Howard was so glad that Vince hadn’t fallen for any of these creeps and accepted their offers…

“Look, is this a wounded pride thing?” Howard shouted at the three men. “He didn’t want to dance with you so you decided to come here and bully him? If you don’t leave us alone instantly, I am going to call the police…”

Howard pulled out his mobile phone from his pocket, wanting to give them a fair warning but also a clear message. He was running out of patience. These idiots were scaring Vince out of his mind and he wanted it all to stop.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” One of the smaller guys warned Howard before pulling out a gun from his jacket. “Don’t do anything stupid if you don’t want me to hurt you.”

Howard thought that he might faint at the sight of the gun. He’d never before been threatened with that sort of weapon and now, the sense of terror was leaving all sorts of images in his head. Sickening, horrifying images. He supressed the urge to fall down to his knees and cry, begging them not to kill him because he had so much to give, and he let the phone drop out of his hands instead.

“Good boy.” The man carrying the gun laughed. “I knew we could reason with you after all.”

Vince was still shaking uncontrollably, and Howard struggled to breathe.

“Don’t hurt him,” Howard then heard himself pleading, “please, don’t hurt him. I’m begging you. Just leave us alone…”

The man carrying the gun stepped forward, and Howard and Vince both wrapped their arms around each other, believing that he was going to pull the trigger.

“Aw, isn’t that adorable?” The tall man cried out mockingly. “The two queers here love each other!”

This encouraged a new outburst of laughter which made Howard feel extremely uncomfortable, but it suddenly had Vince talking:

“Yes we do!” The young man exclaimed, holding on to Howard for support. “We do love each other. I’m in love with Howard – that’s why I didn’t want to dance with any of you!”

Howard wanted to bow down and kiss his friend, not only to convince the three men, but also to comfort Vince. But neither of them managed to make another move before the top creeper yelled out:

“So you’re choosing this old, ugly berk over us? That’s quite an insult, mate!” And with these words, he pulled out a jack-knife from his pocket and held it up in front of him so that the light reflected in the sharp blade. “Like I said, we’re here to teach you some manners. Maybe then you won’t think so highly of yourself in the future, my darling.”

Vince couldn’t fight the urge to panic anymore; he yelped and buried his face into Howard’s chest although he knew that this was no escape plan. The thought of what was about to happen made him tremble terribly. Howard began to stroke his hair soothingly, but it was no good… His loving touch didn’t stand a chance against both a gun and a knife.

“Please,” Howard begged desperately, not knowing what else to do, “please, don’t hurt him. You can have anything you want from the shop – take our money if you want. Just please, leave him alone. He hasn’t hurt anyone – he hasn’t done anything wrong…”

“I beg to differ,” the large man snorted and ignored all of Howard’s pleas, “just keep your mouth shut, you big ballbag. We’ll treat him nicely as long as he does what he’s told. Now, step away from him, I want him for myself.” He pointed the gun directly at Howard. “Step away from him or I’ll shoot you right in the face.”


	3. Chapter 3

Vince reached out for Howard’s hand, but when his friend was dragged away from him, he began to panic again.

“Howard!” He cried when the jazz maverick was pushed down to his knees with the gun held to the back of his head. “No, leave him alone!”

The two leather-wearing creeps looked over to their leader, grinning.

“That’s right, boys, keep the fool down in that position,” the tall maniac said, “I want him to watch me make my first moves. No turnin’ your head the other way, d’ya hear me?”

Howard breathed heavily without replying. The two guys standing behind him laughed mockingly, and he felt the cold metal of the gun pressing harder against his neck. What was it that they wanted him to watch? What the hell were those freaks planning at?

Howard looked up and he saw the tall stranger approaching Vince slowly. He had lowered the knife in his hand, but that didn’t mean that his intentions were any better. Vince immediately tried to back away from him, but the wall kept him from going any further and he found himself trapped in the corner with nowhere to hide. 

“Oh, you are not trying to escape me, are you now, darlin’?” The creep sneered. “You already escaped me once. I’m not lettin’ that happen again. I’ve come to finally get what I want.”

Howard couldn’t breathe. He wanted to jump back on his feet and run for Vince, but he knew that he would only make things worse if he tried. He didn’t want to know what the bastard had come here for… He wasn’t the least curious to find out. 

“Well, if you’re here for me, you can’t have me!” Vince blurted out. He was obviously terrified, but he was also beginning to sound really angry. Angry was good, Howard decided. Maybe they would get the message if he sounded more firm. Maybe, just maybe, they would give up and let them go…

“Oh yeah? And what makes ya think I can’t have you?” The tall, muscular man spat.

“You – you just can’t! I’m with Howard,” Vince’s voice trembled, “only he can have me.”

The two guys behind Howard howled with laughter and one of them even slapped his cheek and tugged at his brown, thin hair. “Did you hear that, you old berk? The little princess must be out of his mind – he only wants you!”

But even though they were clearly finding this funny, the third bugger seemed rather annoyed.

“Well, frankly darling, it is not up to you anymore!” He shouted in a threatening voice and invaded Vince’s personal space. “I have come here to claim you and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

Vince wanted to shout for Howard to come and help him, but he knew that Howard couldn’t move. Those men were probably crazy enough to shoot him if he began to rebel against their orders to stay down on the floor. Vince realised that he was on his own. He gave into his own fear and hid his face behind his hands, but naturally, that wasn’t going to do him any good. The tall stranger quickly grabbed a hold of his hands and pinned them against the wall, making sure that Vince couldn’t move. He then went on to press his huge body against Vince’s small frame, pressing him firmly up against the wall before attacking the young man’s lips with his mouth. Vince’s eyes grew big with horror and he wanted to scream. However, as soon as he opened up his mouth to protest, the stranger took advantage by sticking his tongue inside, eagerly.

“Good boy,” he grinned and moved his lips to Vince’s ear, “open up to me. I know you want it.”

Vince screamed out loud when he tried to initiate another kiss, and he squirmed desperately to free himself. This had the tall stranger pausing, slightly taken aback by the smaller man’s displeasure. 

“Shut up and stop moving, you little bugger,” he groaned irritably, “you’re not trying to ruin the moment, are you?” 

The man let go of Vince’s hands and grabbed a powerful hold of his cheeks instead. His lips sought Vince’s one more time and he kissed him aggressively whilst holding his head in place. However, Vince quickly protested by pushing his hands against the big man’s chest and after a few tries, he managed to push hard enough for him to stagger backwards.

“What the hell do ya think you’re doin’, princess?” The leather-wearing berk hissed angrily. “You can’t afford to keep on insulting me like that. Let that be a warning to you!”

Vince didn’t care. He had felt so disgusted by the kiss that he could feel his own stomach turning. “Get away from me!” He shouted frantically. “Leave me alone, you ugly freak!”

Howard watched as Vince held up his hands to protect himself and he felt proud of him for standing up for himself. But even though he admired the little man’s courage, he also felt scared for him. Surely the big perverted idiot wouldn’t take kindly to this insult, and Howard didn’t know what was going to happen.

“What did you just call me?!” The man yelled furiously. “How dare you talk to me that way? I’m gonna teach you a lesson, princess, and you better take it in this time!”

Without giving any warning, he raised his fist and punched Vince in the face. The blow was forceful enough to smack the back of Vince’s head against the wall and the young man immediately fell to his knees, dangerously close to losing his consciousness. In another merciless act, the man grabbed Vince’s black mop of hair and hauled him to his feet. He had to pull hard, because it appeared that Vince’s legs had failed him and he couldn’t stand up on his own, and so the young man screamed with pain when it felt like his hair was being yanked off. His face was burning, his head throbbing, and he was certain that his cheek was already beginning to swell up, revealing the sore spot where he’d been hit. 

“Leave him alone!” Howard yelled furiously as he watched Vince wince in pain. “You can’t treat him that way, you bloody sadist!” 

The stranger simply ignored Howard and forced Vince to look up by pulling his head back. He could tell that the room was spinning before the young man’s eyes, and he laughed haughtily.

“Are you still with us, darling? Don’t tell me you’ll black out that easily!”

When there was no reaction, he shook Vince’s body tauntingly and Vince suddenly whimpered, nearly falling down to his knees again. His head was throbbing so bad and he could barely hear a thing from the incredible sound of his own blood rushing to his head. He thought that he was going to explode for a moment or two.

“Let that be a lesson to you,” the man grinned and yanked a few locks of his hair again, “now come here. You better keep still this time.”

He pressed his body against Vince’s and kissed him hard, biting down on his lower lip in a cruel, punishing manner. Vince tried to scream again and struggled to push the man away. When it didn’t work this time and the creep went on to deepen the kiss, Vince grew desperate and kicked his leg, aiming for the shin. The tall man yelped with pain and staggered in surprise, but he was growing tired of this rebellious behaviour and he refused to put up with it.

“All right, that’s enough!” He complained resentfully. “If my fist can’t keep you still, maybe this will!”

He pulled the knife back out and he held it up to Vince’s throat. Howard could see the fear in his friend’s eyes and he screamed for the maniac to back off when he raised the knife and ran it down Vince’s cheek, leaving a thin trail of blood running down the young man’s chin. Vince had closed his eyes at the stinging sensation, but that was all. He hadn’t even let a sound escape his lips. 

The man ran his tongue over Vince’s wound and licked it teasingly, making the pain feel sharper. When he then kissed him hard again, Vince could suddenly taste his own blood in his mouth and it was making him feel nauseous. He struggled furiously and pushed himself against the much bigger man. It wasn’t enough to throw him off course, but the stranger pulled back anyway.

“You know what,” the man whispered and slapped Vince’s bloody cheek brutally, “I don’t think you care about me hurting you. But I think that you might care about us hurting someone else.”

Vince’s face turned pale as a ghost at those words and his body fell stiff. Oh god… No, anything but that. Not Howard! If they did anything to his Howard, he would simply die…

“Boys, would you be so kind…” The tall creep looked over his shoulder and gestured towards his cronies. “You know what to do.”

Howard wanted to tell Vince that it was all right – he would rather that they hurt him and stopped harassing the young man so cruelly – but before he could do anything about it, the two men behind him knocked him down to his side and began kicking him all over. One of the first kicks was aimed at the jazz maverick’s stomach, and Howard gasped painfully when the wind was knocked out of him. There was no way that he could utter a single word… All he could do was stay down and let them kick him silly.

“Howard!” Vince screamed and tried to run past his own attacker, but he was forced back up against the wall. “No, stop it – what are you doing to him? Stop it! I’m begging you…”

“You know how to make them stop, don’t ya?” The creep leaned in and whispered in his ear, making Vince shiver. “Come on, beautiful. You know what I want.” 

Vince blinked furiously, afraid to reveal the tears in his eyes. “You can do whatever you want to me,” he heard himself saying, “I don’t care, just don’t hurt Howard.”

He was given a hard, wet kiss on his cheek and this time, he didn’t even flinch. “Good choice, darling. I knew you’d come to your senses.”

Howard was lying on the floor, all curled up and trying to protect his head by wrapping his arms around it. It took him a while to notice that the kicking had stopped. And when he finally did, he had an ugly feeling that he knew why that was. He looked up in fear and the two men took a step back, still laughing at his humiliation. Howard let out a pained groan as he tried to sit upright. His back hurt, his ribs hurt, his legs hurt. He thought to himself that he’d be covered in ugly bruises by the morning. If he and Vince would even be alive by then, that was.

“Stop groaning, you big fool, and take a look here.” The tall man ordered Howard and gave him an unsympathetic look. “This is me getting what I came for.”

And Howard watched helplessly as the man moved up to Vince and started kissing him all over again. Only this time, it was much more forceful and violent. He was biting him, licking him, sucking the life out of him, crushing his thin body with his own. And all Vince did was stand there, letting it all happen without putting up another fight.

And Howard knew why. Oh god, this was so wrong… If it hadn’t been for him, if it hadn’t been for Howard and his idiotic idea to let these men in the shop, Vince wouldn’t have had to stand there and put up with the abuse. 

“God, you’re delicious,” the creep moaned into Vince’s mouth, talking loudly enough for Howard to catch every word, “I could do this all day. I just want to eat you up.”

He bit down on Vince’s lip again. Vince gasped and winced this time. When he pulled away, Howard could see that his bottom lip was smeared in blood and he felt disgusted. He couldn’t watch this anymore… It was so sickening and wrong – it was so painful. 

“Oi!” The smaller man behind him yelled and kicked Howard’s leg. “You were told to watch.”

Howard forced himself to look up, but he hated himself for doing so. He saw how Vince closed his eyes in disgust when the man moved his lips down to suck at his throat, leaving dark, wet hickeys everywhere. He felt so guilty for not being able to make it stop… What was he supposed to do? How long would this go on for?

“You’re just as tasty as you are pretty,” the man spoke as he came up for air, “don’t look so sad, little darling. You and me, we’re finally getting along, aren’t we? And don’t worry about your little boyfriend over there, I’m sure that watching this is making him all hot and horny.”

Howard grunted when the men behind him started laughing again, but Vince just remained silent. His bruised cheeks were burning red, but the rest of him seemed deathly pale. It looked as though he was going to be sick. The blood was still forming on his lip… 

“I know, this will cheer you up.” The man said, hoping that Vince would react to his touch. “You like compliments, don’t ya gorgeous? You like attention, I know you do. I’ve seen you surrounded by people buyin’ you drinks, kissin’ your cheek, touchin’ your hair. I’ve seen you smile and flirt with them all. So don’t pretend you’re not flattered when I do this.”

The stranger ripped open Vince’s shirt, fortunately using his bare hands instead of the knife. It was one of Vince’s favourite pieces of clothing, Howard realised with regret. The man licked away at the exposed chest and felt up Vince’s flat stomach with his rough hands. Vince shivered and cringed and it wasn’t the reaction that the man had hoped for. 

“This is me appreciating your fine, little body, you ponce, so you better take the compliment and keep still.” The man groaned at him. 

Vince tried his best, he really did. But the tears were quietly rolling down his cheeks and it was making him all flustered and nervous.

“Are you crying, sweetheart?” One of the men standing next to Howard asked, grinning in triumph. “Aw, isn’t that adorable? He’s acting like he’s never tried this before. Trust me, pretty-boy, we all know you ain’t no virgin!” 

“Yeah, what are you acting all innocent for?” The other leather-wearing crony joined in. “You little whore!”

“He’s not a whore!” Howard screamed, feeling so upset that his stomach was beginning to cramp painfully. “You can’t treat him like that…”

“Shut up, virgin!” Howard was kicked in his back this time and he nearly fell forwards.

“Don’t worry, darling,” the tall man laughed and grabbed Vince’s chin, “fortunately for you, I happen to like whores.”

He forced Vince’s head back so that it connected with the wall painfully, and he bit down on the small man’s shoulder, brutally. Vince screamed in pain and the sound of his agonised voice left Howard breathless. He couldn’t stand to see his friend like this; it was breaking his heart piece by piece. The stranger pulled away, satisfied that Vince had stopped fighting him, and he kissed his wound.

“Look at that, my teeth marks are on your body now.” He said, clutching Vince’s thin arm. “You liked that, didn’t you? A beautiful whore like you needs it rough.” 

Vince sniffled and another flow of tears streamed down his bruised cheeks. He was still not objecting or pulling away, but he was panicking. His breathing was even beginning to sound laboured. “I’m… I’m not a whore.” He whispered quietly, once again revealing how repulsed he was by this. “You don’t know me.”

“Of course you’re a whore. That’s why you’re letting me do all this to ya.” The man gave him a long, hard kiss on his bleeding lips. “See – you’re just letting it happen.”

“Yeah, and you know why.” Howard thought to himself bitterly. “You’re using me to get to him – that’s how big a psychopath you are.”

“You know what, guys,” the creep said all of a sudden and looked over his shoulder, “I think my darling’s feelin’ a bit shy. Maybe he’ll enjoy everything better if I’m alone with him.”

Howard’s small eyes grew big for the first time in his life and he felt it as though the blood in his veins had turned to ice. No, this could not be happening. If that monster was alone with Vince, god only knew what he’d be able to do to him. He could practically kill him and get away with it if he wanted. He looked up at Vince, and he saw how pale and jittery his friend was. His thoughts were obviously just as dark as Howard’s…

“No,” Vince spoke in a weak, pleading voice, “I-I don’t want that.”

“Too bad, gorgeous, it’s not up to you, is it?” 

He grabbed Vince by his hair and dragged him away from the wall that he’d been pressed up against. Vince stumbled forward, but quickly began to put up a fight. It didn’t matter where the creep wanted to take him; he just didn’t want to leave Howard. If he and Howard were not in the same room to keep an eye on each other, anything could happen. They could shoot Howard as soon as Vince turned his back on them… 

“No!” He shouted desperately and grabbed the hand that was pulling his hair. “Let go of me! I need to stay here…”

“You’re coming with me, princess,” the man said and yanked even harder, “and if you keep arguing with me like that, you know what’s gonna happen.”

Howard was suddenly kicked again and a loud gasp escaped his lips before he could stop himself. Sure, he was feeling more than bruised, but the pain wasn’t unbearable. Howard saw that Vince was looking at him in shock and terror, obviously fearing that he had suffered any injuries.

“I’m okay, Vince!” Howard then said, simply because he couldn’t stand the idea of his friend worrying over him. It didn’t matter what happened to Howard, he thought to himself – he was willing to accept all the kicks and punches, as long as it meant that Vince had a chance of escaping.

“Shut up, you!” Howard was slapped across the cheek and a second later, the smaller one of the three men held the gun pressed against his temple. “If any of you tries to put up a fight with us, I’ll shoot the berk’s brains out.” 

Howard closed his eyes. He was willing to die for Vince – of course he was. But there was no way of knowing what they’d do to Vince after killing Howard. So perhaps sacrificing himself wouldn’t save his friend in any way. Maybe the best thing he could do was, in fact, to keep his mouth shut and stay put.

The large man laughed and pulled Vince closer towards him. “That’s right, you ponce – if you refuse to do as I say, you can kiss your stupid boyfriend goodbye forever. And I’m sure you don’t want that.” 

Vince shed another tear as he finally stopped resisting. He was shaking all over and it felt as though he was about to throw up. When his hair was being yanked again and he was dragged out of the room, he started crying out Howard’s name in panic, but he didn’t struggle to be released. The man hauled him up the stairs, Vince nearly tripping over a step because he was blinded by tears and couldn’t see where he was going, and he then heard Howard’s cries from the shop floor:

“Vince! Vince! I’m sorry – I’m so sorry…”

And then the angry voice: “Keep quiet or I’ll shoot the moustache off ya face!”


	4. Chapter 4

Vince was pushed down on the kitchen floor as soon as they reached the upstairs. He landed hard on his knees, suddenly trembling with fear.

“You better stop crying before I lose my patience with you.” The man warned him before hovering over him, grabbing his chin and forcing Vince to look up. “You’re much too pretty to cry like that.”

He began to tear the ripped shirt off Vince’s shivering body, and Vince tried to remain passive although his every instinct told him to back away. He felt exposed and vulnerable enough as it was. 

“What’s with the shivering, gorgeous?” The man sniggered and ran both hands down his chest before counting Vince’s ribs with his fingertips. “You don’t like being touched?”

Vince supressed a small gasp and shook his head, slowly. “N-no I don’t.” He whispered. 

The man was obviously not pleased with this answer. “Liar.” He hissed. “A whore like you needs to be touched. I know that much.”

He grabbed Vince’s hair again and drew the smaller man in for a forceful kiss that only himself seemed to enjoy. He slapped Vince’s cheek hard and pushed him away angrily when he sensed his repulsion. 

“So you’re still acting like you’re not interested, huh?” He spat. “Well, maybe I’ve treated you better than you deserve up until now.”

He pulled out the knife and held it close to the young man’s throat. Vince swallowed hard and closed his eyes shut in fear.

“Please don’t,” he breathed as his heart pounded in his chest, “I didn’t mean to offend you. I-I’m just… a little nervous.”

“A little nervous, eh?” The man laughed all of a sudden. “I’m not sure if that’s true. I think you really are repulsed by me. And I think the disrespect has earned you some kind of punishment…”

“No,” Vince pleaded, “no, wait a minute…”

“Wait for what? Are you gonna kiss me or somethin’?”

Vince froze at the suggestion. He felt certain that another kiss was something he couldn’t go through. Not without getting sick and hence, getting himself killed. But if a kiss could save him and Howard…

“If you put the knife away,” he said nervously, “I promise I’ll kiss you properly.”

The big man pretended to consider Vince’s proposition for a moment or two, but then he quickly moved the knife and cut a long, but superficial mark into Vince’s naked chest. This had Vince gasping loudly, partly because he hadn’t seen this coming. He automatically covered the fresh wound with his hand, and he felt the blood running down his fingers. It wasn’t the kind of wound that was deep enough to kill you or make you lose too much blood, but it stung like hell and it didn’t make him feel any less panicky.

“You don’t get to bargain with me, pretty-boy,” the man said mockingly when Vince looked up at him in shock, “I make the conditions here, not you. Is that understood?”

Vince wanted to say something, but his voice had failed him. Perhaps it was only now that it occurred to him how serious the situation was and what could potentially happen if he failed to obey again…

“Answer me, you fool!” The man swung his fist and it connected with Vince’s jaw. Vince fell backwards and he was lying sprawled out on the floor, the room dancing before his eyes once again. “You’re so weak, you know that? You don’t stand a chance…”

Vince could barely think through the pain, but he knew that he had to force himself to sit up. This was not the kind of position that he wanted to be left in.

“You know what, I’m not sure you deserve to kiss me now.” Before Vince could gather his strength, the man grabbed his wrist and hauled him back up on his knees. “But maybe there’s something else I want from you. You’ve got such a pretty mouth, you see…”

Whilst the man slowly unbuttoned his leather trousers and began to pull them down, something inside of Vince snapped. He couldn’t think straight – he couldn’t do what was asked of him, he had to get out of here… He began to back away, one hand still clutched to his bleeding chest. He knew that he couldn’t really go anywhere – there was no place to run or hide at this point – but his instincts had taken over his mind. However, he wasn’t quick enough. The man saw him backing away and preparing to run, and he immediately leapt forward. He threw his arms around Vince’s body and tackled him down on the floor, keeping him in place. 

“No! Let me go!” Vince yelled, now kicking and squirming on the floor even though he should have known better. “Help! Howard! Howard! Help me…”

Vince’s shouting turned into an even louder, agonised scream when the man straddled him and used the knife to cut him across his ribs, and he felt the warm blood streaming from the new wound. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe – he was trapped…

“This will happen every time you disobey me,” the man leaned in and whispered in his ear, “for every little thing you deny me, I will cut you a new wound on your precious little body.” 

He removed himself from Vince, but Vince couldn’t move a muscle. He felt it as though he’d been nailed to the floor. He could feel his own skin burning and his mouth had gone completely dry. How had all this happened? How had he even been trapped in such a nightmare? 

“Get up, darling, unless you want a nice cut across your face, too.” The man warned him, feeling too horny to wait any longer. “You better help me out of these pants before I lose my temper again. I want to feel those pretty lips of yours on my big, hard dick.”

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard had almost puked the first time he heard Vince screaming. He couldn’t imagine what was going on up there… He didn’t want to know. He was too scared that his darkest fear would be confirmed.

“Please,” he heard himself whispering whilst keeping his eyes on the floor in feigned humbleness, “please don’t let anything happen to him. I-I’m begging you…”

The two men looked down at Howard and howled with laughter. One of them even spat at the floor right next to him. 

“Oi, what are you being so worried about?” One of them mocked him and waved the gun in front of Howard’s nose. “Are you worried ‘cause you love him so much or what?”

Howard closed his eyes, praying that this was not a trick question. “Yes,” he whispered, defeated, “I love him, okay? So please, you have to help him before he gets hurt...”

“No can do, mate,” the one holding the gun interrupted him carelessly, “the thing is, you can’t love a whore, can you? Not really. At least you shouldn’t. Because his body is for sale like a rented car. You don’t know who’s been riding him before you and you don’t want to know.”

“You’re wrong!” Howard shouted in outrage. “He’s not a whore! Just because he wears nice clothes and has a lot of friends doesn’t mean…”

“You know what, I bet those screams you just heard,” Howard was interrupted again, “are really just screams of pleasure. I bet he likes to be taken. Taken hard.”

The two men were laughing again, and Howard almost couldn’t breathe. They were obviously trying to put images in his mind that would make him go mad and he feared that it was working for them. If that creep was touching Vince – if he was approaching him in any way, Howard was going to kill him.

“You’re wrong,” Howard repeated pathetically, “you’re wrong…”

The short man stepped closer towards Howard and leaned in to whisper in his ear: “Your friend has got quite a fine, delicate body, doesn’t he? And I know that my friend really likes that.”

“Yeah,” the other one joined in, “I bet he’s leaving teeth marks all over your friend’s body, biting the hell out of him while he enters him hard. That’s why he’s screaming so joyfully…”

“Or maybe he’s having his hair pulled while he’s being fucked in his pretty, little mouth. Our friend has always wanted a suck from someone gorgeous…”

Howard cried out in frustration and covered his ears with his hands furiously. “Shut up!” He shouted from the top of his lungs. “Both of you! You’re sick people – you should be ashamed of yourselves! How dare you say such things about him?”

Suddenly, the gun was pointed at Howard’s forehead and it was hinted that he ought to lower his hands so that they could continue the conversation.

“We’re treating him pretty nicely for a simple whore,” one of them said in a more serious voice as he locked eyes with Howard, “we’ve got nothin’ to be ashamed of, mate. Your friend is the one who should feel disgusted with ‘imself. He lets himself be taken by anybody who wants him and he obviously moans with pleasure whenever he’s being touched. I bet you only put up with him being a slut because nobody else wants to kiss ya old, hairy mug!”

“You take that back, you monster!” Howard spat, feeling so angry and upset that his face must have been burning red. “He’s not letting himself being taken – he is not moaning with pleasure up there, he is screaming out in pain and you know it! How can you let your friend hurt him like that? How can you just stand here and make jokes? Vince is not a whore; he’s got the most beautiful soul and he’s so pure and innocent that he couldn’t even hurt a fly…”

Howard could have easily continued to name reasons for loving Vince so much, but he broke down in tears. He had let his friend down and now Vince was being punished for it instead of Howard. Those bastards were killing that beautiful innocence and childishness in Vince that made him so god damn happy and cheerful every day. It was horrible, it was sickening and unfair… Howard would have given anything to make it stop.

For some strange reason, the sight of Howard crying didn’t make the two men laugh. Instead, it made them almost angry, or at least very annoyed with him.

“If he’s so innocent, then how come his friends treat him like a whore, too?” The smaller man challenged Howard evilly, not giving a damn about hurting the man’s feelings again. “How do you think we even know his name and his address? Who do you think even gave us that information?”

“W-what?” Howard choked, barely able to breathe through the tears. “What are you talking about?”

“We only know his name because his little friends at the club were kind enough to tell us,” the man repeated with a share of impatience, “they were hiring him out to us like a whore. They told us how much he likes having admirers. They told us that he likes the attention.”

Feeling even angrier after what he had just learned about Vince’s so-called “friends”, Howard raised his voice and yelled: “There’s a difference between having an admirer and having someone attacking you! Just because Vince enjoys it when people compliment him doesn’t mean that he invites people to come to his home, punch him out and try to rape him! That is not a compliment, that is just plain cruelty…” 

Howard choked again at the idea of Vince being attacked (or worse) that very minute. He was right up there on the first floor, but he was still out of Howard’s reach. He couldn’t rescue him. All he could do was sit here on the floor, crying, feeling like the most useless man in the world. He heard Vince screaming even louder this time and it continued for a good while. Howard thought that he was going to lose his mind.

“Make it stop,” he begged and sobbed exhaustedly, “please make it stop…”

But the two men didn’t move a muscle. They had turned quiet now, yet it didn’t really seem like they were feeling sorry about anything. They were utterly cold-hearted, Howard realised. He heard another agonised scream from Vince upstairs, and the flow of tears increased. He really thought he was going to be sick all over the floor this time…

Just as Howard was about to beg the men to go help his friend again, there was a noise from the shop door that startled all three of them. The two men jumped, still remembering to point their gun at Howard, and Howard looked over his shoulder as the door was opened. It was Naboo – he had returned from buying his shaman supplies – and loyally behind him, Bollo appeared. For a second or two, Howard wanted to draw a breath of relief, but then he realised that the arrival of his two comrades wasn’t necessarily going to improve the situation. 

Both Naboo and Bollo froze at the sight of Howard on the floor, crying, and the two strangers holding a gun to his face.

“What the hell is going on here?” Naboo exclaimed, taken aback. “Is this a robbery?”

Bollo groaned as to state the obvious fact that he was having “a bad feeling about this”, but the gorilla’s instincts told him to keep quiet. This looked serious – very serious. 

“Naboo,” Howard whispered desperately, almost apologetically, “Naboo, you shouldn’t have come back…”

Howard was kneed in his stomach and he couldn’t breathe. The man holding the gun obviously hadn’t wanted him to finish his sentence. 

“Get inside, both of you,” he said and pointed the gun towards the small shaman, “lock the door behind you and keep quiet. Or I’ll shoot you all before you can utter a single sound.”

Naboo looked towards Howard, quickly making sure that his tall, idiot flat mate wasn’t hurt besides having the wind knocked out of him. No blood, no missing limps – yeah, Howard would be fine he estimated. 

“You can’t threaten me,” Naboo spoke confidently and stepped forward, “I’m a shaman. Bullets don’t kill me.”

“They will kill your friends, though.” One of the attackers pointed out without taking Naboo’s threat seriously. He had to stop himself from laughing at the shaman’s humble size.

“Bollo is good at dodging bullets and I’ll use my shaman powers to rescue Howard before you can do him any harm,” Naboo said calmly as though he was trying to reason with the strangers, “besides, I know you wouldn’t want to kill him. Why should you? You can have anything you want from the shop as long as you get out of here without usin’ your gun.”

Naboo thought that he could talk some sense into them, but Howard knew that it wasn’t going to change anything. Naboo had no idea what was happening… 

The man holding the gun laughed out loud, much to the surprise of both Naboo and Bollo. “We’re not here for ya money, you dwarf! We don’t care about anything you say. In fact, you will do exactly as I say or you’ll be very sorry…”

“I don’t think so,” Naboo cut him off, angrily, “this is my shop and I’m tellin’ you to leave. And if you don’t, I’ll turn you both into frogs…”

“Naboo, no!” Howard cried out before the shaman actually attempted anything. He didn’t know if Naboo was really powerful enough to get rid of these two freaks before they could pull the trigger, but even if that was the case, the shaman would still be powerless to stop what was going on upstairs. The third attacker would kill Vince if any of them rebelled against his stupid cronies. 

Naboo looked towards Howard, obviously not understanding what the problem was.

“You have to do what they say,” Howard breathed in a rather panicky manner, “because if you don’t, they will – they will hurt Vince.” Howard’s voice trembled and he couldn’t go on. 

“Vince?” Naboo’s eyes widened. Maybe it wasn’t until now that he realised that someone was missing from the room. “Where is Vince? What have you done with him?”

And just like that, there was another pained, desperate scream from upstairs. Everybody froze and listened in horrified silence. As he recognised the distressed voice to belong to Vince, Naboo paled visibly and even Bollo seemed to be feeling sick as the ape tensed his entire body.

“What the bloody hell have you done to him?” Naboo blurted out as he regained his ability to speak. “Is there anyone up there with him?”

Howard wanted to tell the shaman everything, but he failed to even open up his mouth. He was still gasping for air and struggling with the tears. Oh, it was a nightmare. 

“Our friend is with him upstairs,” the gunman smiled eventually and locked eyes with Naboo who didn’t look so tough anymore, “he’s teaching your little friend a lesson and he doesn’t like it when people interrupt him. So you better listen to this berk right here, you dwarf, because he’s right. If you fail to do what we tell you, our friend is going to kill your friend. He doesn’t mind fucking a dead body, although he does prefer them alive if you know what I mean.”

This was followed by an evil, perverted laughter, and Naboo was left with a blank, emotionless expression on his face. Howard, however, could tell that the shaman was feeling absolutely appalled and didn’t want to believe what he had just been told. But he could probably tell from Howard’s silence and Howard’s tears that this wasn’t a joke… 

Suddenly, Bollo roared violently and leapt forward, as if in a craze. “You leave Vince alone!” The gorilla cried miserably. “Leave precious Vince alone or Bollo will break your necks…”

“Bollo…” Naboo spoke in a defeated, saddened voice and touched the gorilla’s shoulder. “There is nothing you can do. Step back before you make everything worse. You don’t want them to kill Vince, do you?” 

The gorilla looked absolutely torn, not knowing what to do or what to believe at this point. Howard didn’t blame him. But in the end, Bollo listened to Naboo, knowing that the shaman always knew best. 

“Bollo calm down now…” The ape grunted, his anger slowly turning into sudden depression. He stepped back to hide behind Naboo, but this gesture wasn’t enough for the two attackers who still seemed petrified after witnessing the gorilla’s wild outburst. 

“You,” the gunman said and nodded towards Naboo, “you lock the door before anyone else turns up. And then you tie your monkey down to the chair in the corner so he can’t escape. I don’t trust him to stay calm.”

Naboo nodded and complied even though it made him feel guilty. He tried to be gentle when he had to tie Bollo down to the small chair, but he knew he had to do a proper job. Bollo sometimes had anger issues and couldn’t control his emotions. If he somehow broke free and tried to attack the strangers, Vince or someone else could get punished for it. 

“Sorry Bollo.” He whispered when he tightened the robes, but the gorilla seemed to understand.

“And you,” the gunman finally said and pressed the gun against Howard’s temple once again, “you better stop crying before I kick your teeth in. You’re ruining the fun for us.”

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Vince was brutally pushed down on his back and as his head connected with the hard floor, his troubled mind once again threatening to let him pass out. Everything hurt. His naked body was now covered in bleeding, painful cuts and knife wounds – some of them were deep, some of them were shallow, but they had all been put there as a clear punishment for disobeying. He had kindly been reminded of that, time after time.

“I told you to keep still, you little idiot,” the large man hissed angrily and hovered over Vince’s body, “or I’ll penetrate you with my knife instead. It’s up to you!”

Vince closed his eyes for a brief second, desperately trying not to move this time. He just couldn’t help it. Whenever that freak was touching or stroking him, using either his hands or his knife, he cringed or jolted his body by reflex – or sometimes by pain. It had nothing to do with choice.

“I’m…trying…” Vince whispered feebly, feeling so sick that he thought it might drive him insane. His head was spinning and he struggled to cling to consciousness as he figured it would probably be his best chance of surviving.

“Well, you’re obviously not trying hard enough.” He was scolded by the man who immediately straddled him and pinned down his hands. “I mean it this time – keep still or I’m gonna stab you for real. You got that?”

Vince almost couldn’t breathe from the weight pressing down on him, but he nodded as he tried to gain control of his small sobs and prepare himself for the pain that was about to come. The man lowered himself slightly and bowed his head down to place a possessive kiss on the young man’s lips.

“Just relax, pretty-boy, and try to enjoy it.” He smirked and licked Vince across his chin. “I know I will.”

Vince closed his eyes tightly shut as though he was scared to see, and he bit his already bleeding bottom lip. He even clenched his fists, but that was mainly out of fear rather than him trying to put up a fight. The man watched as Vince tensed his body, laughing haughtily at the man trapped underneath him.

“Are you ready for me, princess?” He hissed in his ear, making Vince shiver. “I’m not gonna let you wait any longer, I promise.”

The man, still fully erect, pushed himself inside of Vince’s sore, broken body, this being his third attempt to fully penetrate him. Vince cried out in pain like he had done the two times before that, and he struggled to stay put on the floor and not resist. When he had panicked and tried to push the much larger man off of him the first time, it had earned him a slap in the face and a few kicks in his ribs. At the man’s second attempt, Vince had unwillingly allowed him to thrust inside him a couple of times before the pain forced him to react; he had pretty much kneed the man in his stomach so that he had been forced to pull out and leave him alone. But of course, this had only earned him more beatings and a cruel stab with the knife in his arm.

“Remember darling, you’re running out of chances with me,” the man groaned now and moved his pelvis in delight, “if you don’t let me fuck you, I’m gonna have to kill you. Even if you are too gorgeous to go to waste like that.” 

Vince gasped slightly, still overwhelmed with the burning pain that he was experiencing not only down there, but all over his bleeding body. The big, heavy man rested himself against Vince, bringing both their bodies closer together, and he pushed himself all the way in. This caused Vince to scream out in pain one more time – it almost felt like he was being stabbed down there, and his body shook violently.

“Shut up and enjoy it.” The man told him as he freed one of Vince’s hands, only to place his own rough hand over the young man’s mouth. He needed to concentrate and Vince was ruining the beauty of his throbbing erection.

However, Vince couldn’t keep quiet. He was barely able to keep still, but being quiet was simply impossible. Every time the man moved inside him, it sent jolts of pain through his body until he nearly gave up on fighting for his life. Sadly, Vince’s gasping and whimpering only made the man even more excited, and he impaled him brutally and began to move in and out of him quicker and quicker. Vince screamed desperately every time he was being penetrated in one, forceful thrust, and the hand covering his mouth tightened. 

“You’re still making too much noise, gorgeous.” The man moaned, truly enjoying himself. “I told you to enjoy it, didn’t I?”

But Vince couldn’t keep it together anymore. It was all too much – he began wriggling in pain, almost as though he was trying to back away from the man on top of him. Without meaning to, but not being able to help it, he moved his free hand and pushed against the man’s shoulder. He wasn’t strong enough to throw him off or anything, but he felt like he would do anything to make him stop moving. Anything to make the pain stop.

“Are you still trying to resist me, you little slut?” The man blurted out in anger and stopped thrusting for a brief moment. “You just keep insulting me, don’t ya?”

Vince’s breathing was laboured and his chest was constantly moving up and down, exhaustedly. “Please,” he whispered weakly in a voice that wasn’t his own, “please stop… It hurts so much…”

The man had to admit that Vince felt a lot tighter than he had expected; it was almost as though this sort of activity was new to him. But it didn’t matter – even if the little electro ponce wasn’t enjoying it, he was going to continue for as long as he desired. 

“It hurts, yeah?” The man hissed in annoyance and grabbed his knife. “You think you know real pain, but you don’t! This is pain, princess.”

He implanted the knife deeply into Vince’s right shoulder, causing the young man to scream in agonising pain and jerk violently. It was as though a shock went right through him, and he could feel the warm blood running down his naked chest and abdomen. The man removed the knife in the same cruel way that he had inserted it; he pulled it out mercilessly and Vince could only gasp in shock this time, no longer having enough air in his lungs to scream again. The blood began to gush out of the big wound as soon as the knife had been removed, and Vince wanted to throw up and die. The tears stung in his big, widened eyes. He wanted to escape this nightmare – he wanted Howard – he had never longed for his beloved friend more than he did now. Only the thought of Howard could make him stay strong through the humiliation, Vince realised. If Howard was okay, perhaps it would be possible for him to suffer through this torture after all… 

“I warned ya,” the man remarked unsympathetically as he watched Vince’s struggle with the sudden pain, “I told you that real pain was coming your way. Just be grateful that I didn’t cut your throat – yet.”

Vince tried to raise his head and clutch the wound with his hand, but he was almost too dizzy to actually focus on the blood that was soon covering his fingers, streaming down his side and forming a small pool on the floor.

“Roll over.” The man ordered him in a harsh voice, not bothered by the alarming amount of blood at all. “I said, roll over.”

Vince couldn’t move. He remained sprawled out on his back, looking up at the ceiling in his helpless state. Everything hurt. Everything stung. And he could hardly breathe. The man lost his patience with him in the end and forced Vince to lie on his stomach. Vince cried out in pain when his wounded shoulder connected with the cold, dirty floor – the man pushed him further against it as he jumped on top of him, eager to continue.

“I’ll make sure that you’ll always remember the lesson I’m about to teach you, angel-face,” the psychopath laughed as he grabbed his knife again, “I’ll make sure that you’ll always remember me and how I fucked you senseless on the kitchen floor.”

He used the knife to cut into Vince’s back, letting the sharp blade write tall, bleeding letters all over the pale, sensitive skin. Vince whimpered in pain for every cut and he actually broke into tears this time, sniffling as the cutting continued slowly, determined to plague him for as long as possible. In the end, the man lowered the knife with a satisfied smile – the tall letters spelled out the word whore, and that was exactly what he wanted his message to be.

“You are my precious, beautiful little whore, aren’t ya?” The man made himself comfortable on top of Vince’s back, and he bowed down to kiss his neck teasingly. “I’m so glad I found you.”

Vince was hiding his face in his hands, shaking all over, having turned completely silent. The man pulled his raven-black hair back violently, forcing the young man to look up. Vince cried out desperately even though he didn’t have much energy left; it just hurt so badly that he couldn’t supress his natural reactions anymore.

“Now, where were we? Oh yeah…”

The man pinned down Vince’s hands once more before getting into position. With an erection that was almost throbbing harder than before, he fully entered the small, skinny body, using all the force that he could gather. Each thrust became more powerful and of course, it had Vince screaming unwillingly each time. The man moaned loudly with pleasure, letting himself go crazy and wild. Oh, this was exactly what he had come here for. This was what he had longed to do for so long. It was the best feeling in the world – knowing that you were fully superior and having someone as tasty and beautiful as Vince trapped underneath you, moaning helplessly from all the things you did to him. There was nothing that the young man or anyone else could do to stop it. Nothing.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

They could still hear Vince screaming from upstairs, and Howard seemed dangerously close to actually vomiting this time. He and Naboo were now sitting with their backs against the wall right next to Bollo who was keeping quiet on the chair that he’d been tied down to. The two attackers were still standing in the middle of the room with the gun pointed towards them, but they had begun whispering to each other instead of listening to any more of Howard’s pleas. Maybe they had decided to fully ignore him from now on.

Naboo turned to Howard, and he took in the Northern man’s silence and discomfort. It was as though he could read his mind.

“I’m sure it sounds worse than it is, Howard.” Naboo’s lisp sounded comfortingly, and Howard looked up from the floor.

“You really think so?” Howard’s voice was hoarse and he sounded desperate to believe the shaman’s words. It felt like two or three hours had passed, although this probably wasn’t the case. However, Howard felt drained and emotionally exhausted. He wasn’t any less scared or any less confused about what was going on and why. 

Naboo shrugged his shoulders, truly feeling sorry for the man sitting next to him. Howard looked so lost and self-loathing at this point. “Maybe he’s only screaming because he’s scared. Or because he’s trying to communicate to you. Maybe he is trying to find out if you’re still alive.”

Howard frowned at this. That was an idea that he honestly hadn’t considered. He had been so certain that Vince was being tortured (or worse) and beaten in all kinds of ways, but what if Naboo was right? Without wanting to, he could feel a small sparkle of hope growing inside of him; maybe Vince wasn’t in that much pain, maybe the man wasn’t really trying to approach him, maybe he had only punched his friend in front of Howard in order to provoke him. Maybe the maltreatment had stopped as soon as they escaped upstairs. Maybe he had only been trying to scare Vince – not hurt him.

Howard sighed as he didn’t know what to believe anymore. He hid his face behind his hands, thinking that he might explode from all the thoughts and emotions going through him. 

“No.” He whispered suddenly, shaking his head in sorrow. “He’s been screaming for such a long time now, Naboo. It can’t be something that he’s doing on purpose. I don’t think he can control it. There is something wrong, I can feel it. Besides, I’ve never heard him scream like that before in my life. I can barely recognise his voice. He sounds so… so desperate. He’s probably in a world of agony and it’s all my fault…”

Howard broke into tears although he didn’t mean to moan like he felt sorry for himself. He could deal with his own guilt later; right now it was all about finding out what was happening to Vince and finding out how to make it stop. Oh, he longed for his friend so much. He longed to see him, just to make sure that he was still in once piece. He longed to see the usual smile on his face and hear his beautiful laughter. Vince was made of rainbows and sunshine… This was all wrong. They couldn’t break him down and change him into something that he was not. It was against his nature. It was an unforgivable crime. Vince Noir was too special and too beautiful to be treated like that…

“Howard, it’s not your fault.” Naboo insisted, sounding a lot more calm and confident than Howard himself. “And it isn’t Vince’s fault either. It’s these three guys. They are the ones who chose to attack you. They are the ones who’ll be punished…”

Howard had wanted to shout out the words “of course it’s not Vince’s fault”, never having wanted to protect his friend more than now, but instead he cried: “It is my fault, Naboo. You weren’t here, so you don’t know how this all happened. I was the one who opened the door for them and let them inside because I thought they were Vince’s friends. If it hadn’t been for me, they never would have gotten the chance to get near him. To punch him and to… to kiss him.”

Naboo swallowed a lump in his throat at these words, suddenly feeling more alarmed than he was willing to admit to anyone. He hadn’t wanted to think about it, but he suddenly remembered the gunman’s comment about his friend not caring if he “fucked a dead body” instead of a living one, and he was starting to get a better idea of what was really happening. Why they had really come for Vince.

“Did that man…” Naboo hesitated, feeling almost as sick and devastated as Howard. “Did he really kiss him?”

Howard sniffled and tried to wipe his teary face with his hands, frantically. “Yes. He kept forcing himself on him. It was so nasty to watch, Naboo. And when Vince wouldn’t let him, the man just punched him and cut him in his face with a knife. When he was still saying no, they threatened to kill me instead. As soon as Vince stopped resisting in order to save me, he was dragged upstairs by that… that freak. And now I don’t know what’s happening to him…”

Howard’s breath got stuck in his throat and he felt his own stomach churning. Who had he been trying to fool? He knew exactly why Vince was screaming although he didn’t want to know. Naboo had almost managed to make him believe otherwise, but that would have been stupid of him. He couldn’t ignore what was going on – he couldn’t turn his back on reality, even when it was this painful to acknowledge. 

Once again, it seemed as though Naboo had read his mind when he said: “Howard, even if we don’t know what is going on up there, we must both assume that Vince is trying his hardest to stay strong. But he is probably still scared that they might have hurt you or that you’ve been killed. Maybe he would find some comfort in knowing that you’re okay.”

Howard looked at Naboo, suddenly trusting the confident look in the shaman’s eyes. Naboo was most often right about these things, he knew that much. 

“How should I let him know that I’m not dead?” Howard asked him, hoping that at least this was a plan that might remind Vince that he wasn’t alone – that Howard was still going to be there for him when all this was over.

“You will probably have to shout something,” Naboo told him, “just make sure that he can hear you and that it doesn’t sound like you’re being murdered.”

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Vince had closed his eyes, feeling painfully dizzy from the blood loss. The deep wound in his shoulder was still bleeding heavily, and the fact that the big man on top of him was still pressing his body down on the floor didn’t make the pain any easier to deal with. He had no idea how much time had passed… It felt like the man had been going at him for an eternity, never finding the mercy to finish his job, pull out and end the nightmare.

The man moaned out loud, but this was far from the first time he’d done that. He clutched a stronger hold of Vince’s hands and slammed into him even harder, even quicker. Vince tried to muffle another cry of pain as the man practically howled like a wild animal, thrusting powerfully, ecstatically. Then, finally, he seemed to climax – with one last thrust he pushed himself as far into Vince as he possibly could, his body doing a spasm as he roared in delight. Overwhelmed by his own orgasm, the man laughed briefly and moved to smack Vince’s ass. 

“I’ve never come like that before, gorgeous,” he sighed comfortably, “I suppose I should thank you. This was just great, don’t you think?”

Vince pursed his lips, determined not to speak a single word. The tears were still rolling down his cheeks every now and then, but generally, he was starting to feel so exhausted that he couldn’t comprehend any of it anymore. His body reacted for him; not his broken mind. 

“Giving me the silence treatment, are ya now, princess?” The man snorted haughtily as he pulled out in one swift movement that had Vince gasping and clenching his fists. “Do you always ignore people like that after they fuck you, or is it just me you’re so miffed about?”

The man looked down at himself when he noticed something that made his smile faint slightly. “My dick’s all red now,” he complained and groaned, “you’ve been bleeding on me like a little bitch!”

Vince thought about the irony in that sentence for a brief moment. Where hadn’t he been bleeding from? His body ached all over and he was trembling badly. He didn’t even try to move himself into a more comfortable position. It was as though he’d given up. He was just going to lie here until the man grew tired of harassing him and left.

“Did you enjoy it, gorgeous?” The man asked and hovered over Vince’s unmoving body. “I demand that you answer my question. Did you enjoy feeling my dick all the way up inside you, or did you have more fun sucking it?”

Vince remained silent, so the large man decided to turn him over so that they could face each other. Intentionally, he grabbed the injured shoulder instead of the non-bleeding one, and he forced Vince to roll over so that he was lying on his back. Vince gulped in pain, but did nothing to resist. The sweat was starting to form on his forehead, and his body shook violently again.

“You’re looking a bit sick, darling,” the man teased him without caring, “does that mean you didn’t enjoy it at all?”

He mounted Vince and straddled him once again, wanting to take advantage of the fact that Vince was now allowing him to touch and grab whatever he wanted. 

“Oh, you’re all mine now. I can tell. You’ll let me do whatever I want with you, isn’t that right?” The man grabbed a hold of Vince’s thin arms, even if pinning him down didn’t seem necessary anymore. “I’ve got you tamed. You’re the finest little possession I’ve ever owned.”

He bowed down and kissed Vince passionately, feeling slightly disappointed that Vince kept still instead of joining in and kissing him back. He noticed that the beautiful young man had lost the spark and the light in his big, blue eyes, but he didn’t take it as a sign of a broken spirit. In fact, he didn’t care about his emotional state at all. He just kept on kissing him forcefully, teasing the young man with his tongue just because he could. 

That was when Howard let out his first scream. Vince blinked and flinched immediately, feeling confused as though he’d been brought back from a coma, feeling uncertain about what was going on. Maybe he really had lost consciousness for a moment or two, because he barely remembered rolling onto his back. He recognised that the man’s tongue was on its way down his throat and that he was moaning loudly into his mouth, but Vince ignored it and focused all his energy on listening. It had been Howard’s voice that he had heard, he knew that for sure. 

What he didn’t know, however, was that Howard had originally been meaning to tell him that he was fine, but the gunman along with his little fellow had stopped him from uttering any words by slapping and kicking him to the ground. Now Howard was simply trying to scream because it was a sign of life – he didn’t want Vince thinking that he was dead and that he’d been left all alone in this world. But the more he screamed, the more he got kicked, and he quickly lost control of his own voice.

All Vince had heard was Howard yelling frantically, and he reached the conclusion that his friend had to be hurting or in deep trouble. 

“Howard…” He whispered unintelligibly into the other man’s open mouth, still ghosting over his own. “Howard…”

He had to help him. Had to. What if they were trying to kill him this time? What if Howard died because there was no one around to stand up for him?

“Keep still, pretty-boy, I’m not finished with you yet.” The man warned him, but Vince had already jerked his body and pushed against the man on top of him. The man balanced himself just in time, but he slapped Vince’s face angrily. “I said keep still!”

Without giving any warning, Vince moved again, and he succeeded in kneeing the man in his groin, or at least close enough to his groin for him to gasp out in unexpected pain. Once he’d been distracted, Vince easily pushed him off and escaped from underneath his heavy body. He desperately tried to stand up, but he was too weak and his legs hurt like hell. He vaguely remembered being stabbed in one of his thighs earlier when he was still resisting. It was bleeding quite a lot, but it worsened with his sudden movements. It felt as though his entire leg went into a gruesome cramp, and he fell to the floor, panting.

“Oh, you should never have done that, lover-boy,” the man groaned with his teeth clenched, face gone all red, “I thought I’d gotten you tamed at last, but you’re still just as stupid and disobedient. You’ll be sorry you ever crossed me!”

When Vince had heard the man breathing behind him, he had desperately tried to make his way to the stairs by crawling, but he wasn’t fast enough. He was badly injured and in much more pain than his attacker, and so the man reached out and grabbed his ankle before he could escape anywhere.

“No!” Vince screamed in panic when he fell down on his stomach and was being dragged back into the kitchen. “No, let me go! Howard needs me! Howard’s in trouble! I have to help him! Please, let me help him…” 

He received a violent blow to his temple before a series of angry kicks hit him in the stomach and the ribs. He let out the most horrifying scream of pain when the man’s boot practically connected with his injured shoulder. He had never before experienced this kind of agony; when his shoulder began to bleed heavily again, he actually thought he might die from losing all this blood. He could feel it gush out of him like it was his life energy and the more of it he lost, the harder it became to stay conscious and keep his eyes open.

“That hurts, yeah?” The man snarled unsympathetically. “Well, unfortunately for you, I like seeing you twisting in pain like that. I think you deserve another punishment just for choosing him over me.”

Before Vince could comprehend what was going on, the man had stabbed him with the knife in between his broken ribs, and he had implanted the blade so deeply that Vince could practically feel it when the pointy tip punctured his lung. He cried out in crazy, burning pain. How had it all come down to this? Why had this man taken it all so far? Vince struggled to breathe instantly, but it all worsened when the man decided to leave the knife in so that he could poke it around in the new, bleeding wound. When he moved the knife slightly upwards, Vince let out the nastiest, longest scream of all, and everyone downstairs heard it as well. His body was paralysed for a short moment, but then it began to spasm gruesomely. The incredible pain had caused him to break a sweat, and he was shivering, trembling, jolting, squirming in pain, begging insanely for the man to stop. 

He surrendered everything at this point. He couldn’t go on anymore. He had no more strength to give… 

The man pulled out the knife after giving Vince one last poke that nearly sent the young man insane. He couldn’t scream anymore, or cry, or beg. All he could do was lie gasping, panting crazily for air. Vince felt the burning sensation from deep within, where the knife had hit him, and he knew why he was having so much trouble breathing… He just didn’t know if a punctured lung was the kind of thing that would kill you.

The man’s hands were painted red in Vince’s blood, and he smiled as he placed himself on top of him again, making the trembling, bleeding, sweating man turn into an even whiter shade of pale as his heavy weight was hurting his lean, broken body. 

“If you won’t be mine, then you shouldn’t belong to anyone at all.” The man said in a cold, almost casual voice. “It’s a shame you’re being so difficult, though. You’re the cutest little thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, but I just can’t let you get away with your misbehaviour.”

He tightened his bloody hands around Vince’s neck, determined to strangle the life out of him. When he began squeezing, blocking and crushing his victim’s fragile airways, Vince let his head fall back after half a minute and blacked out for good. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard was sobbing loudly, pressed back against the wall. Not because he’d been kicked and beaten again, but because it felt like he’d made the mistake of his life. He had failed to tell Vince that he was all right – the gunman had been on to him and had stopped him from communicating at all. But Vince had been screaming back at him; this time even nastier than all the times before. And now – nothing. There were no noises coming from upstairs anymore, and Howard feared the worst.

“Vince… Oh my god, what if he’s been killed because of me?” Howard hid his face in his hands. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed to cry in front of these people – he just feared that it might anger them again. However, there was no stopping his desperate emotions. “Vince, I’m so sorry. Please be all right – I can’t live without you…”

Naboo was still looking at Howard as though he could read his every thought. “This is not your fault,” the little shaman kept telling him, robbing his sore back in comfort, “you don’t know what’s going on up there, Howard. Don’t lose hope now.”

However, even Bollo seemed to be grieving at this point. The gorilla wasn’t crying, but he was making strange, whimpering noises that Howard had never heard before. Bollo had always loved and adored Vince in every single way; everyone knew that. And now the gorilla was just as worried about him as Howard was.

Upstairs, the large man loosened his grip and let go of Vince’s throat. He had no idea if the small man underneath him was still alive or not; he hadn’t reacted to anything for some time now and he was deadly pale. It didn’t look as though he was breathing. The man on top of Vince briefly tried to search for a pulse, but he failed to find any. He couldn’t even be bothered to check if the young man’s heart was beating or not. What did he care? He’d had what he’d come here for, and now it was his time to leave.

“What shall I do with you now, gorgeous?” He asked the limp, unmoving body and smirked. “Should I leave you behind or should I take you with me downstairs?”

Naturally, he didn’t get an answer out of Vince, so in the end, the man decided to dress the injured, blood-covered, skinny body up again as he wanted him to look ‘presentable’ when he was reunited with his boyfriend downstairs. Vince’s tight velvet trousers were blood-stained and had holes in them where the knife had cut into his skin, but they came on. The red shirt was completely ripped open, but the man still tried to drape it around Vince’s shoulders, unsure if it would stay on or not. He didn’t bother at all with Vince’s silver boots. 

“All right, you’re comin’ with me, beautiful,” the man decided and planted one last kiss on Vince’s wounded lips, “thanks for all the fun. You do deserve my appreciation after all.”

He easily carried the light body in his arms, removing Vince from the hard, cold floor. But what might have looked like a chivalric, romantic gesture quickly turned into sheer cruelty when the man figured that he couldn’t be bothered carrying a – perhaps – dead body down the stairs. Waste of energy. Instead, he let Vince down and kicked the small frame down the stairs in a fall that could have easily broken his back or his neck, if not both. 

Vince’s unresisting body tumbled helplessly down the stairs, and everyone down in the shop literally gasped in shock when he landed at the bottom, sprawled out on the floor in a sickening, slightly twisted angle. 

A moment went by before any of them could even recognise the bloody, half-naked body to belong to Vince. But when they did, Howard let out the most harrowing, shattered scream that barely even sounded human.

“Vince! No, no, no - Vince! Oh my god – what have you done to him? What have you done…” Howard choked and cried manically as he jumped forward, intending to run to his friend’s side, but he was immediately held back by the two leather-wearing men. In all honesty, they seemed equally shocked by the state that their victim was in, but nevertheless, they still wouldn’t allow Howard to move before they had left the shop safely. 

Howard’s screaming and crying nearly muffled the sound of the third man descending the stairs slowly and triumphantly. But when he appeared at the bottom and coolly stepped over Vince’s still body like a true victor, the entire room grew silent for one split second – and then all hell broke loose. 

“You!” Howard cried and struggled to throw himself forward and escape the two men holding on to him. “What have you done? What have you done to him?! Answer me, you bastard!”

The large man was smiling as if he wasn’t bothered, and even Naboo was so sickened with rage that he for a second thought he was going to follow Howard’s lead and go for a heated, not well-planned attack that he couldn’t have won. But he knew better than that, even if it pained him beyond words. Thank God Bollo was tied down to that chair… The gorilla was roaring and perhaps crying at the same time, but he, too, had lost all self-control. 

The man was still smiling tauntingly, completely ignoring Howard, and he opened his mouth to speak for the first time. “I see that our company has grown bigger down here. Good job holding them back, boys. I really enjoyed my alone time with this beauty.”

He suddenly bowed down and tousled Vince’s hair, like someone might do as a loving, affectionate gesture. But there was nothing loving or affectionate about the way he did it. 

“Don’t touch him!” Howard spat and continued to yell from the top of his lungs. Who would have thought that Howard Moon had it in him to go completely mad? “I’m gonna kill you, you worthless bastard! I’m gonna hunt you down and I’m gonna kill you!”

“I don’t think so.” The man snorted indifferently, not feeling threatened at all. “See, I’m gonna leave now and I’m takin’ my mates with me. And you’re all going to stay here and let us walk away, or else there might be more than one body to bury.”

The last shadow of hope was washed away inside of Howard’s mind at those words, and he was going to either cry his heart out or shout in protest. But then the gun was aimed at Naboo. Even though the small shaman had said that bullets couldn’t kill him, Howard still couldn’t let anyone else get injured. And perhaps Naboo was wrong. Howard simply couldn’t risk it.

“Just… just leave the shop. Please.” Howard sobbed heavily and could barely hold his head up; his body was shaking all over. “I only – I only want to help my friend… I-I’m not g-gonna go after you…”

The three attackers all laughed at this, and the leader huffed. “That’s what I thought, you wuss. Come on, lads, we’re outta here.”

And as the three of them finally escaped without even closing the shop door on their way out, the room was filled with a new, enforced sense of anger, sorrow, angst and desperation – anything but relief.


	5. Chapter 5

“Vince!” Howard cried in a heart-breaking, anxious voice that no one could recognise. He jumped up to his feet and ran towards the bottom of the stairs, too quickly to even notice how his own body was aching and his head ringing with pain and built-up emotions. “Vince, no, no, no – what have they done to you?”

He fell down to his knees next to the bleeding, motionless man on the floor that he loved so much. Vince was lying there in a slightly twisted, curled up and clearly uncomfortable angle with one of his legs still resting up against the stairs. Howard forgot about being careful when he apprehensively tried to turn him over so that he was lying on his back, and in the middle of his sudden terror, he failed to notice the dislocated shoulder which made Vince’s thin arm seem slightly disconnected from the rest of the body. But Howard was completely struck by something else; the big, Northern jazz maverick who had always considered himself a man of action let out a mere shriek when he looked down at his friend’s face. 

Vince was the deadliest shade of pale he’d ever seen. The raven-black hair stuck to his forehead in a lifeless manner, and the black eye-liner had been smeared out underneath his closed eyes, revealing the fact that he’d been crying. The dark colour only made it clear how white Vince’s delicate skin had turned. His face was covered in cuts and bruises. His one cheek had clearly swollen up, and the other one had that long cut which had been bleeding enough for the blood to stiffen and dry out all the way down Vince’s chin and neck. And his lips – it looked as though they’d been chewed on like a bloody piece of gum, and Howard could tell that they must have been dark red with blood – except, now they were slowly turning blue… 

Howard choked and gasped and tried not to shriek again when he looked further down, taking in the most horrible sight he could have ever imagined: Vince’s neck had angry hand-marks on it like he’d been strangled. The ripped shirt had almost fallen off his shoulders, and Vince’s naked chest and torso revealed just about thirty cuts and knife wounds, leaving his skinny body covered in his own blood. A particularly nasty wound in his shoulder and another one in between his ribs looked deep and messy enough to have let the helpless, broken body lose a dangerous amount of blood. Howard wondered just how much… The rest of his body seemed to be covered in more cuts and bruises; he had obviously received some gruesome beatings – he had obviously been kicked around and cut into and… And even bitten, it seemed.

Howard couldn’t keep himself together anymore. Nor could he ignore the fact that Vince wasn’t breathing. He had known it from the very moment that Vince had been kicked down the stairs without resisting or making a single sound. He could tell from the pale skin, the swelling neck, the sickening loss of blood – he could tell from the unmoving chest and the utter stillness that was lying there in front of him, having possessed his only true friend in this cruel, hopeless world…

Howard could tell. Vince was slipping away from him, even though he was now finally holding him in his arms. He could just tell.

“No,” he cried horribly and grabbed Vince’s shoulders as though he thought he could shake him awake, “what have they done to you… How could this happen… Vince, please! This can’t be happening… Vince…”

Naboo had spent just a moment to untie Bollo from the chair, knowing that he was going to need all the help that he could gather, and now the shaman ran towards Howard and the still body in his arms.

“Howard, is he breathing?” Naboo rushed the big, Northern man. The shaman was the only one who was able to think clearly at this point, and he needed to know all about Vince’s condition. “Howard, answer me – did you check his pulse or anything?”

Howard just kept on sobbing, holding Vince tighter. “He’s… He’s… bleeding everywhere…” He simply cried without answering the question. 

Naboo was just about to curse Howard for acting so useless, but then he moved forward and took a proper look at his own employee for the first time. If he hadn’t been a powerful shaman who had seen more things in his life than any human being could possibly imagine, he might just have reacted like Howard and let out a shriek of shock and pain. Vince looked downright dead. Murdered. For some reason, Naboo had known that the young electro boy would be roughed up a bit, but not… Oh god, not dead. But because he was a shaman, after all, Naboo supressed his emotions and remained calm as ever. 

“Move. Let go of him,” he said simply, pushing Howard out of the way, “you gotta give me some space here.”

The shaman immediately pressed his ear down against Vince’s bare chest, listening for a heartbeat that wasn’t there. Bloody hell. He placed two fingers against Vince’s neck, desperately searching for a pulse of some kind, however weak it might be. There was nothing. He winced at the evil, harmful marks that were so evident on his friend’s neck and throat, and he knew exactly why Vince had stopped breathing.

“He’s been strangled.” Naboo lisped in sheer horror, causing Howard to cry even louder and Bollo to let out a big moan of grief from where he was standing behind them. “I can’t find any signs of life.”

“No!” Howard screamed and threw himself down on the floor, holding the lifeless body close to his own as he tried to press Vince’s head against his chest, almost like he was holding a small infant. “Vince can’t be dead! He just can’t – Naboo, you’ve got to do something!”

Naboo wanted to yell at Howard and tell him to pull himself together, but he didn’t have the heart. But he knew he had to do something – Howard was right; Vince’s life wasn’t supposed to end like this. It was too gruesome, and Vince was too happy and beautiful and loved by everyone to deserve this.

“Howard, let go of him,” Naboo said as he needed Vince to lie down on his back without anyone touching him, “I told you that I need some space. I’m gonna try and get his heart started again.”

“W-what?” Howard sobbed, barely able to let go of his friend. “You can do that? Naboo…”

“It depends how long he’s been dead, Howard.” Naboo said frankly as he didn’t want Howard to be left with false hope. “He might be too far gone, but I’m gonna try anyway. Just stay back…”

It looked as though Howard was about to have a major breakdown when Naboo had spoken the words about Vince being dead out loud, but he managed to stop himself just in time. Howard Moon simply wouldn’t allow himself to fall apart now. He knew that Vince was strong. He always had been. Much stronger and braver than Howard himself, even though he often liked to think of himself as a man of action. But instead, it had always been Vince saving Howard’s arse time after time. Now it was Vince’s turn to be saved – maybe it wasn’t too late… 

“Please Naboo,” Howard begged tearfully as he backed away, trembling, “please bring him back. Do whatever you must, do whatever you can, just bring him back…”

Naboo said nothing, but immediately began performing CPR by pressing his crossed hands down on Vince’s chest, repeatedly. He pressed as hard as he could, but he was obviously struggling. His hands were quite too small for this job, and every time he pressed down on the pale chest, it was making the blood ooze out of some of Vince’s wounds all over again. And he had already lost enough blood as it was…

“You’re doing CPR?!” Howard exclaimed, sounding almost upset. “Naboo, you’re a shaman, not a doctor! I thought you would be able to do some magic instead of this…”

Naboo breathed heavily, annoyed that Howard was disturbing him when he needed to keep count of how many times he’d pressed down on the chest. “Howard, shaman magic doesn’t work once the human heart has stopped beating. I can only do some magic if we get Vince to breathe again…”

Howard couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What was the point in being a shaman and knowing magic if you couldn’t even get a heart to beat? There had to be some kind of potion or spell… Besides, Naboo was way too tiny to do a proper job. He didn’t have the strength and he couldn’t press down hard enough.

Naboo realised this, too. “Bollo,” he said as he eventually gave up, “my hands are too small for this. I need you to keep going for me. Remember how I taught you CPR last year? I know you can do this. Do it for Vince.”

Bollo had been busy weeping in silence, and now he looked scared to be given such an important job. But as soon as Naboo reminded him that he was doing this for precious Vince, Bollo stepped up without hesitating.

“Bollo save precious Vince.” Bollo sniffled and almost pushed Naboo out of the way, kneeling down next to the fragile, broken body. He took over Naboo’s work perfectly, pressing down at Vince’s chest in a steady rhythm. But the gorilla’s hands were so big and strong and he was using so much force. Howard couldn’t help but to think that Bollo was maybe a little too strong for this job. But then again, Howard had never been taught CPR. Bollo could be their only hope right now.

“Howard, you have to breathe into Vince’s mouth when I tell you to.” Naboo directed Howard, and the jazz maverick forced himself to go along with it and not question Bollo’s skills. 

“Like this?” Howard asked nervously, wiping his tears away before lowering his own mouth down to breathe into Vince’s as soon as Bollo took a break from working on the chest.

“Blow harder,” Naboo told him firmly, “you need to get as much air down his lungs as you possibly can. It’s absolutely crucial.”

Howard forced another deep breath of air down Vince’s lungs by blowing harder this time. Then he withdrew and watched as Bollo began ‘massaging’ the heart again by practically punching down on Vince’s lean chest. Oh, this was too brutal… It looked like the kind of thing that would kill you instead of bringing you back to life.

“Naboo, why don’t you call for an ambulance?” Howard panicked when nothing was happening, and Vince remained equally pale and lifeless. “He needs to go to a hospital – hurry up!”

Naboo saw the frustration and panic in Howard’s eyes, but he merely shook his head. “You wanted him to be healed by shaman magic, didn’t you? Then I can’t involve any doctors. They would only interfere and break the magic…”

“What magic?!” Howard spat angrily. “You can’t even use your magic to get his heart started. We need an ambulance…”

“I can use my magic as soon as his heart is started again, and trust me, that’s better and safer than Western medicine. If anyone can get Vince’s heart started again, it’s Bollo. Trust me, Howard, he’s as good as any doctor – at least when it comes to this.”

Howard didn’t look convinced at all. “But even if we get his heart started again,” he argued and paused to breathe into Vince’s mouth once again because Naboo did the signal, “he’s still got so many injuries. He’s been stabbed and choked, Naboo. Do you know the kind of magic that can take care of all that?”

“No.” Naboo admitted calmly, almost throwing Howard into a downright fit, but then he added: “But the other shamans do. I have already summoned the boarder of shamans, Howard, telepathically. They are on their way right now, and they are bringing an expert with them. He might be able to help Vince better than anyone.”

‘Might’. Howard was so scared and confused that he didn’t know what to believe. Was he making the right decision leaving everything to Naboo instead of calling for an ambulance? Maybe Vince didn’t have a chance either way, no matter who they contacted. Maybe he was gone for good… Murdered during the loneliest, darkest moment of his life. 

“Howard, you have to breathe into his mouth again!” Naboo reminded him when Howard was welling up and getting distracted.

Howard forced his tears back and breathed into Vince mouth, doing the best he could. And then he watched Bollo go crazy; the gorilla was hammering away at the fragile chest, and Howard thought that he could hear bones cracking. Vince was getting pounded and beaten up all over again… What if this was breaking him instead of healing him?

“Naboo, it’s too much!” Howard sobbed fearfully when he could barely stand to watch Bollo’s powerful compressions anymore. “It’s too much, we have to stop… His ribs are cracking, didn’t you hear?”

“It’s necessary,” Naboo tried to sooth him, although he wasn’t feeling patient enough to calm Howard down properly, “he can live with a few broken ribs, but he can’t live without a beating heart. Go on, Bollo, don’t stop now!”

Howard let the tears flow when the gorilla punched down on Vince’s chest again, still causing even more blood to stream from the open wounds. He breathed into Vince’s mouth every time Naboo told him to and he kept still, but Howard didn’t believe anymore… He was slowly giving up on the idea of Vince ever coming back to him. It had been too long now… They must have been trying to revive him for several minutes now, and nothing had worked. Vince remained lifeless on the floor. Dead. Howard had never thought it would be possible, but he wished that he could go back to hearing his friend screaming in pain instead. Any sign of life, even the most painful one, was better than this. 

“Vince,” Howard whispered all of a sudden, grabbing a hold of his friend’s cold and limp hand, “Vince, I’m begging you… Don’t leave me like this. I can’t… I can’t live without you.”

Howard cried as he kissed the hand and held it close to his wet cheek. He couldn’t believe it… They had only just found each other yesterday, and now he had lost him forever. Just like that. Because he’d been stupid enough to let those strangers in the shop after hours. Vince was dead because of him… His dear, beautiful, rainbows-and-sunshine Vince. Why had he waited so many years to tell him how much he loved him? Fate was so cruel to only let them have one day together as the lovers they were destined to be… Howard would never love anyone else. No one could ever replace Vince Noir, love of his life. 

“Please come back to me, Vince. I love you.” Howard squeezed the cold hand in between his own. “I know you’re strong. You can do this – come back to me, Vince. I love you so much… I can’t survive in this world without you in it.” 

Howard sobbed bitterly. This was so unfair. Vince had deserved so much better. He shouldn’t have been destined to die by murder and rape when he was all alone, unprotected by Howard and the others. Not when he was so loved and adored by everyone in Camden. He was the sweetest, gentlest, most innocent creature ever to have walked these streets… Howard couldn’t allow this to be his exit.

“Please Bollo,” Howard wept and rubbed Vince’s hand as though he was trying to spread some warmth into the lifeless limps, “give it all you’ve got. Don’t give up on him yet. Press… Press harder if you must.”

The gorilla was beginning to look pretty emotional, but Howard’s words convinced him that it wasn’t over yet. Bollo began to press his big gorilla hands down on Vince’s chest even harder. Just moments ago, Howard would have looked away in fear, believing that Bollo was crushing the life out of him, but he reminded himself that Vince was already dead – the only harm that Bollo could do him now was beating him back to life.

“Come back to me, Vince,” Howard repeated and blew into his friend’s mouth when Naboo gave him the signal again, “come back to me. I know it hurts, but you can do it.”

Naboo was watching the scene in front of him and he felt stunned beyond words. He had never thought that he should see someone as happy and carefree as Vince on the floor, fighting for his life in such a cruel manner. At the same time, neither had he ever imagined that he should see Howard Moon man up like this and declare his profound love for the poor soul that he was struggling to save. Naboo felt ashamed to acknowledge the fact that he had, by far, underestimated Howard and Vince’s love for each other. They had always been doing everything together, but they had been teasing and tormenting each other as well. Although, of course, they would always come back to each other in the end.

They needed each other to survive just as much as they needed oxygen. Naboo knew that this didn’t make the human race weak; it made it meaningful. 

Bollo slammed down on Vince’s chest, beginning to feel desperate. Howard brought Vince’s hand back to his cheek and let his own shaky fingers run through the beautiful black mop of hair, caressing his friend lovingly. He was still in there somewhere, Howard decided – he had to be. And Vince loved it when people paid a little extra attention to his precious hair… 

“Again, Bollo!” Howard commanded determinedly. He wasn’t going to let Bollo give up. Not now, not ever… “Hit him again – use your strength. It’s not too late!”

Both Naboo and Bollo were beginning to doubt the whole situation, feeling the hopelessness creep into their minds, but neither of them had the heart to tell Howard to give up. Not yet. 

“Bollo do his best.” Bollo sobbed and repeated the blows and the punches with increasing strength. “Bollo do his best for Vince.”

Howard squeezed the hand that he was holding, and he believed again. He actually did. He watched as Bollo kept on working with admirable dedication and each time the gorilla pressed down on the pale chest, Howard believed that this was the time when Vince would jolt awake and come back to life. Just like that.

Because if he didn’t have faith, what else did he have? 

I love you Vince, you idiot… Stop torturing me like this and wake up now. If you don’t, I’ll never forgive you…

Bollo hit his chest, then hit him again. Howard pressed his ear down to listen for a heartbeat. Nothing. Bollo hit down on Vince again, and again, and again. Howard observed the pale face and the closed eyes ardently; searching for even the smallest sign of change. Then, as if in slow motion, Bollo punched the chest even harder, and Howard kept a strict focus on Vince’s eye-lids. As Bollo had made the punch, though, Howard had blinked, but now he was left with the feeling that he had actually managed to see something… He couldn’t be sure if his imagination was playing him a trick or not, but it genuinely looked as though – as though Vince had tried to flick his eyes open for a split second. (Unsuccessfully, needless to say).

“Wait!” Howard cried and made Bollo jump back just as he was about to deliver another series of punches. “Stop – I thought I… I thought I saw him trying to open his eyes.”

Naboo wanted to point out how unlikely this sounded, but he decided to let Howard revel in hope as the jazz maverick pressed his ear down to Vince’s chest once again, listening carefully. Howard’s expression remained blank for quite a while, and Naboo and Bollo watched him in deep silence, curling up their toes and clenching their fists in fear. 

“H-Howard?” Naboo stepped closer, dreading what the answer might be. “Can you hear anything?”

Howard paused, but was about to say something when, suddenly, they all heard a noise coming from the back of Vince’s mouth, or maybe even his throat. They all froze in shock and wonder until they realised what this meant. Their friend was trying to breathe on his own!

“Vince!” Howard cried hysterically, hugging the - still - motionless body tightly, never wanting to let go again. “I knew it! I knew you’d come back to me! Thank God…”

Howard kissed the pale face and shed a new stream of tears, but when he tried to gather Vince’s limp body into his lap, Naboo stepped forward, looking concerned. 

“Howard, keep him still for a moment,” the shaman ordered and shushed him and Bollo, “Can you hear that?”

They all listened carefully. The small noises kept coming from Vince’s throat, almost like small gasps or chokes. At first, Howard had just assumed that his friend’s breathing sounded raspy because of the injuries that had been done to his neck, but now he recognised that something was wrong. Vince’s heart may have started beating again, but he still wasn’t breathing. He was only trying to.

“He’s choking!” Howard broke the silence in a panicky voice. “Naboo, he’s choking! Do something!”

“Quick, Howard, move him on to his side,” Naboo exclaimed and kneeled down to take a better look at Vince, “maybe he needs to throw up.”

As soon as Howard picked Vince up and placed his friend so that he was lying on his side instead of his back, the gagging noises grew louder and Vince’s mouth fell open. Howard held his friend’s hair back and kept a supportive arm around the small shoulders, but when Vince finally choked again and retched, it wasn’t vomit coming out of his mouth. It was thick, dark blood.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard nearly screamed at the sight. Oh no. No, no, no… This could not be happening!

Vince wasn’t breathing. He couldn’t. He just kept on leaking blood from god damn everywhere it seemed, but when Howard saw the blood continuing to drip from the slightly parted, blueish lips, he knew that that was the ultimate warning sign. Bleeding from your mouth suggested internal bleedings, broken organs… Vince had lost too much blood already. He couldn’t afford to keep on going like this. And worse yet, he couldn’t afford to go on without oxygen for much longer either.

Without oxygen, Howard realised, your organs will shut down. You will suffer brain damage. You won’t ever go back to your normal self again… 

“Naboo!” Howard cried desperately and kept Vince steadied in his arms. “What is happening? Where’s the blood coming from? You have to stop it – you have to make it go away, do you hear me? He’s dying again…”

Naboo watched the blood seeping out of Vince’s mouth with fearful eyes, and he listened to Vince’s continuous attempts to take in even the smallest breath of air, but failing to every time. The noise at the back of his throat gave it all away. Naboo recognised it. The blood was blocking his airways completely.

“Bollo, get my human medical kit now – hurry!” Naboo rushed the gorilla before reaching out to touch Vince’s cold chin, smearing some of the dark blood on to his own finger. 

“Naboo…” Howard pleaded when the small shaman didn’t say anything, but examined Vince’s blood on his finger in silence. “Naboo, please. Tell me what’s going on!”

“I think it’s from the stab wound between his ribs,” Naboo spoke slowly, feeling sickened but forcing himself to stay cool, “the knife must have hit his lung when he was stabbed. If Vince’s lung is punctured, it could have been filling with blood. And now it’s not only blocking his airways; it’s basically drowning him from the inside.”

Howard gagged for a moment and almost let go of Vince in the process. Punctured lung – filled with blood. Drowning from the inside. Choked to death – again. Howard sincerely thought he was going to be sick… It was all too much. 

Vince loudly attempted to either breathe or cough again, but it only resulted in a new splutter and a new share of blood stains landing all over the floor and on Howard’s trousers as well. Howard whimpered in panic. He would give anything to make this stop. It was torture. When they had managed to make Vince’s heart beat again, he had thought that his friend was going to be all right. He had thought that Vince was going to be breathing again and regaining the colour in his face, bit by bit. But no – it seemed that Vince had only been brought back to life so that he could fight for it once again and undergo some more torture in the process. It was so cruel…

“Vince, hang in there! Do you hear me?” Howard cried and grasped his friend’s cold, still hand. After all, it was perhaps the bodily contact with Howard that had brought him back from the dead to begin with. “I know you can’t breathe, but Naboo is going to help you. He – he’s going to make the pain go away, all right? Just don’t give up now. Please. Hang in there. I love you so much…”

There was no way of telling if Vince could even hear Howard’s words. He didn’t look conscious at all; his eyes were still closed, he was still deadly pale and he hadn’t moved a muscle after having been brought back to life. He hadn’t even tilted his head or twitched his fingers – the only sign of (very fragile) life in him, was the choking noises coming from his throat, indicating that he couldn’t breathe. Naboo prayed in silence that Vince was much stronger than he looked at the moment – he was going to need both strength and courage in order to recover from his injuries. And probably a fair share of love, too. It was lucky that he had Howard with him, Naboo thought. Even if it was obviously killing Howard to see him like this… 

But Howard would heal if Vince did. As long as Vince pulled through, (and Naboo was going to make damn sure that he did) everything was going to be all right, eventually. There would be both scars and a great deal of pain, but – in the end – time would heal even the deepest wounds. Right? 

Bollo returned with Naboo’s medical kit for humans, struggling to breathe through his asthma. He had been running all the way upstairs, frantically believing that his precious Vince might lose his battle if Bollo didn’t do his very best to help… 

Naboo searched through the kit and Howard watched as he pulled out a frighteningly large syringe.

“Naboo,” he spoke, his voice trembling, “what is that? I thought – I thought you could use your magic now that his heart is beating again.”

Naboo looked up at Howard for a brief moment, sensing the man’s disbelief. “There will be no magic until the board of shamans arrive here. Look, Howard, I have to drain the blood from Vince’s lung as quickly as I can,” he told him patiently, “and this is the safest way of doing it. I haven’t memorised any healing spells and if I had to go and look for one, it would take too much time and it would be too late to save him. He needs to get his airways cleared, immediately.” 

Howard wasn’t given a chance to reflect on this before Naboo simply raised the enormous syringe and gestured for Howard to move Vince again.

“He has to lie on his back this time,” Naboo instructed him, “come on, Howard. Quick!” 

Howard wanted to hesitate. He wasn’t exactly sure how much Naboo knew about Western medicine and the human anatomy, but then again, who was he to question the shaman who had saved both his and Vince’s arses numerous times before? Naboo was the only one of them who knew what to do. Of course Howard was going to listen to him. He swiftly turned the small, broken body over in his arms, being careful as he lowered Vince’s back to the floor, gently. 

“How are you gonna use th-“

Howard was cut off; Naboo hovered over Vince’s body and, without hesitation, he implanted the syringe in Vince’s pale chest with great force. Howard’s face nearly turned green at the sickening sound of the needle going far in – Naboo must have hit him hard because Vince’s body actually jolted upwards for a second as a reaction to the stab.

“Did the needle just…” Howard swallowed, feeling almost dizzy. “Did the needle just enter his lung?” 

“Yes.” Naboo looked completely confident in himself. “Now it’s time to drain the blood.”

And Howard watched again as the large syringe filled with Vince’s dark blood. There was so much of it… No wonder he hadn’t been able to breathe. Naboo even had to remove the syringe and empty it before he could implant it again and drain the rest of the thick blood out of Vince’s injured lung.

Things changed almost immediately. Howard grabbed Vince’s hand again as he listened to his friend’s attempts to breathe in. This time, there was no blood coming out of his mouth and there was no choking. Vince breathed in loudly – but then another thing made Howard feel anxious and concerned all over again. Vince wasn’t really breathing regularly – he was basically heaving for air, desperately and urgently, and there was a rasping sound that most certainly shouldn’t be there. It was his lung…

“The lung is punctured,” Naboo told Howard as he searched through his medical kit again, “he can breathe, but he won’t get enough oxygen.”

Howard realised he was still crying; one of his tears had landed on the warm hand that was holding Vince’s. He just wanted it to be over… He couldn’t stand seeing his friend like this anymore.

I’m so sorry, Vince. It’s my fault that you’re here. I will never forgive myself… 

Howard’s voice trembled heavily as he looked up at Naboo, then down at Vince who was still just as pale even though he was breathing now. “Is he… Is he ever going to be his old self again, Naboo?” Howard had closed his eyes shut as though he was trying to peek into a brighter future without this much pain and hurt. Vince could have suffered brain damage. He could still die on them once again if they weren’t careful enough. There was no guarantee that everything was going to improve just because he was breathing again. “Is he going to be the Vince I know again? Or do you think I have lost him forever?” Howard wasn’t sure if he was asking Naboo or if he was really asking himself. He just knew that he longed for answers of comfort.

The small shaman didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t promise Howard that everything was going to go back to normal. He couldn’t promise him that Vince would recover fully – or recover at all. It was all a little too soon to tell. Naboo decided to stay quiet.

He had pulled out a long plastic tube from his medical kit, along with something that looked like a small hand pump. Howard looked in wonder – was that really the best that Naboo could do? 

“Naboo?” Howard asked, letting the suspicious look in his eyes speak for itself. 

Naboo read Howard’s mind immediately. “I know, it doesn’t look like much.” The shaman lisped. “But if I can insert the tube into Vince’s lung, I can pump some more air into it, using this. I’ve just… I’ve just never tried it before on a human being, is all. I hope – I hope I know what I’m doing.”

Naboo was truly looking hesitant this time, and it frightened Howard beyond words. If Naboo had no idea what he was doing, then what did that make Vince? His guinea pig? Howard knew it. He bloody knew it. He should have called that ambulance right away – Vince could have had a medical doctor with him right now who knew exactly what to do. A medical doctor who had all the training, all the right tools. Didn’t Vince deserve the best treatment after all? 

“I can’t believe you, Naboo…” Howard started in a raspy, tearful voice, but he was soon interrupted when the door to the shop was opened with a loud bang. 

They all jumped in fear, and for a dark, foggy second, Howard sincerely thought that the three criminals had returned to finish them all off. But oh, thank God, it was the shamans who had responded to Naboo’s telepathic call for help. They all stepped in the door – tall, big and powerful – and just like that, Howard sensed that there was once again reason to believe.

Howard recognised two or three of the shamans who were so different from each other, but there were also a couple of them that he’d never seen before. There were probably six of them in total. One of them had to be the shaman who Naboo had described as an expert – the one who was most likely to heal Vince. 

The shamans all rushed inside before pausing, taking in the awful sight of a broken, young man who was lying in a pool of his own blood, cuts and wounds all over his unmoving body, and Naboo, their fellow shaman, who was kneeling by his side, looking utterly helpless and lost. Most of them even cast a look at Howard, too, and the sympathy was painted all over their faces as they noted the tears rolling down the Northern man’s cheeks. 

A tragedy must have taken place here. That much was evident. Now it was up to them to turn the situation around and mend the broken pieces.

“Naboo,” one of the unfamiliar shamans spoke, “what is the situation? You must give us an update!”

Naboo hadn’t had the time to update the shamans on Vince’s condition since he summoned them in the first place. But now he told them some of the most urging issues, ignoring how it made Howard cringe and turn pale: 

“He was strangled and his heart stopped, but we managed to revive him. He’s lost a lot of blood because he’s been stabbed and he’s got a collapsed lung from what I can tell. He’s struggling a lot to breathe.”

Immediately, the shaman who must have been the medical expert had joined Naboo on the floor, hovering over Vince to take a good look at his new patient. He was a tall man with yellow skin and long, purple hair. Howard noted that his face was pretty stern, but as he quickly examined the state that Vince was in, he began to look more saddened and angry.

“I’ve got a potion that can heal the lung in just about an hour’s time,” the shaman doctor spoke slowly, “but he also needs a blood transfusion right away. He’s obviously lost way too much blood – his skin is all cold as well and it’s making his heart beat slower.” 

Naboo swallowed hard and nodded. “I’ll assist you, Taboo.” He said, still seeming kind of frightened by the situation. An even bigger medical kit was handed over to the yellow shaman who had now grabbed a hold of Vince’s wrist. 

“His pulse is very weak,” the shaman expert called Taboo spoke in deep concern, “there is no time to lose. I’m gonna need two assistants for now. The rest of you must leave the room immediately. I need my space.” 

Howard was still holding on to Vince, but now he realised what this meant. They were going to ask him to leave Vince’s side again, leaving him surrounded by strangers – and Naboo. No, he wouldn’t. He had already left Vince’s side once and look what had happened… Not again. Howard needed to keep an eye on him. Maybe Vince could sense it if he wasn’t there to hold his hand.

“Howard, the shamans are going to take you into another room,” Naboo said when Howard didn’t move, “we need all the space we can get when we work on Vince, and you also need to get examined. You were kicked pretty hard and you could have suffered an injury.”

“No…” Howard clutched Vince’s hand and shook his head. “Naboo, I need to stay. He needs me. I can’t leave him – not again!”

“It’s just for now,” Naboo told him, “you can check up on him when he’s stabilised. Please Howard, don’t waste our time like this.” 

“But I’m fine,” Howard protested and a shiver went through his body, “I don’t need to be examined. I’m not leaving him. I can’t…”

“You must.” One of the other shamans butted in, and so many eyes were resting on Howard at that point. “You will only distract doctor Taboo with your crying.” 

It wasn’t that the shaman was accusing Howard of being pitiful or weak. It was just that he was slowing everyone around him down by exposing his grief like this; these shamans were not used to tears. It made them rather nervous, especially if they had to work under pressure. 

“I-I don’t want to leave his side…” Howard whispered, even if he realised that he probably should. Just after having uttered those words, two of the largest shamans gently took a hold of his arms and dragged him out of the room, kicking and screaming.

“Vince!” Howard cried like a mess, even if his friend couldn’t hear him. “I’ll come back soon, I promise!”

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard was taken to the storage room in the back of the shop. He was sat on a tall chair as he was being examined by the two shamans. They were very gentle when they asked him to remove his shirt so that they could take a look. There was some ugly bruising across his ribs and on his back, but they told him that they had a lotion that could help him with the pain.

Howard was too big a mess to show his gratitude. He was crying heavily, and it was truly heart-breaking to witness. He felt so incredibly guilty – he hated himself so much for what had happened. He just wanted to see Vince and be near him. Just to make sure that he was still there, fragile and vulnerable as he may be. But as long as Howard knew he was still with them…

Bollo entered the room as the shamans rubbed some of their magic lotion over Howard’s sore body. Howard froze when he saw the gorilla appear; he immediately assumed the worst and he believed that Bollo had come to tell him that Vince’s heart had stopped again or something like that. But instead, the gorilla said:

“Two shamans left on their carpet. They fly over Camden to search for the criminals. They want them captured. They want to punish them. Bollo hope they find them.”

Howard couldn’t utter a single word. His eyes just filled with tears again. Bollo noticed this, and for the first time in his entire life, the ape actually felt sympathy towards the jazz maverick.

“Harold no cry.” He muttered, feeling pretty sad himself. “Naboo and Taboo are very good. They do everything they can to help precious Vince.” 

Howard knew that, but it wasn’t enough. He had to see him. He had to be with him. He had to know if he was safe – if he was getting better or worse…

Howard jumped off his chair and ran out of the room, past Bollo and back into the shop. He stopped when he saw the scene playing before his eyes. Vince was still on the floor, unconscious and deadly pale. Naboo, Taboo and the third shaman were all kneeling by his side. But now Vince was pretty much surrounded by tubes and needles. The shamans kept injecting him with all kinds of unfamiliar liquids, both green and blue-coloured ones. There were tubes connected to both his wrists, and Howard could tell that a dark red colour was being transferred into his body. It was his blood-transfusion. Where they had gotten the extra blood from, Howard didn’t know. Perhaps they had created it by using their magic. Now Taboo hovered over Vince once again, and Howard saw the yellow shaman inject a long needle right into Vince’s chest. He knew that he was probably aiming for the lung. He must have had a magic liquid that could heal damaged organs, Howard thought. And now he was bathing Vince’s lung in that liquid. 

So many tubes filled with blood – so many pointy needles… Howard could feel himself turn dizzy on the spot. He felt sick. So sick and above all, scared. 

Bollo appeared behind him before the shamans even knew that he was standing there in the doorway. Howard was being dragged back into the storage room. He didn’t object. He just cried his eyes out. And when he was put back up on the chair to be examined by the shamans, he simply puked. He had been holding the sick in for so long, but he couldn’t do it anymore. It was a natural reaction to everything that had taken place tonight. Howard vomited violently, feeling relieved to get it out of his system. 

Then he became hysterical again. He sobbed loudly and broke down, feeling exhausted. So exhausted and tormented. 

“Maybe you need a sedative?” One of the shamans suggested worriedly. “I think you need to rest. It is all too much for you to handle right now.”

Howard didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to agree, but he didn’t protest either. He didn’t have the strength to tell them that he was fine – because he wasn’t. He didn’t want to be sedated, though, because that meant he wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on Vince. If he chose to escape and let himself rest while the others were still treating Vince, he was a coward. Pathetic.

But he was just too weak to say no. And so, the shamans carefully put him into a drug-induced sleep. If only Vince could have taken a rest instead of him, but he couldn’t. Vince wasn’t done fighting like Howard was. Not yet.


	6. Chapter 6

Everything was calm. Everything was peaceful. In Howard’s uninterrupted, much needed sleep, he found himself back at the zoo. With Vince. It seemed like such a happy, innocent time which had ended much too quickly. He and Vince had always been close, but it was different back at the zoo. They even used to sleep by each other’s side, always together. Always together, but never telling each other the truth about what this meant.

Howard even used to lie awake at night, listening to the sounds of the animals going to bed. The sound of the lion roaring in the night time only made him feel safe. But then there was the sound of Vince breathing, so close to his own ear. Vince’s small, sleepy sighs was something that actually made him feel at home.

Losing the zoo had been bad, but moving to live in the city had been worse. Sure, he and Vince had stayed together, had kept sharing a bedroom. They still saw each other every day. But here in Camden Vince made new, exciting friends all the time. He went clubbing, he went to gigs and parties that Howard was never invited to. Vince had been so busy, so popular and surrounded by people that Howard had always suspected that he might leave him in the end. And for that reason, Howard had learned to tell himself that he had to forget about the zoo and about having Vince around him all the time. That part of his life was over – it was time to be more adult, to feel less safe, less at home. It was time to accept the fact that he was going to spend his life in isolation and loneliness whilst Vince moved on. Howard had dreaded it immensely, but he had also truly believed it.

But then Vince had come back to him. He had refused to let Howard go, refused to let the older man shut him out. Vince had told him that he loved him… He had kissed him. He had allowed Howard to hold him in his arms, bringing the two of them closer together than they had ever been at the zoo. Howard almost couldn’t believe his own luck. He had thought that he’d already seen the happiest days of his life. That everything was going to go downhill from that moment on. But instead… Instead it seemed that his truly happy days had only just begun.

Vince wanted to be his. Vince wanted Howard’s love, Howard’s kisses, Howard’s touches. Howard remembered bringing Vince down onto his bed for the first time. Under the covers. He remembered Vince’s warm, naked body underneath his own. Vince’s arms wrapped around his neck, not letting him go. 

He had never meant to let go. He had always wanted Howard close. 

And now Howard had ruined everything. He had failed Vince. He had let him get hurt. Vince was never going to forgive him for this. Vince was not going to want him close anymore. And Howard didn’t blame him.

“I’ll never stop loving you, Vince. Even if you stop loving me…”

Howard was woken up two hours later, the sedation beginning to wear off. Naboo was hovering over him, shaking his shoulder until Howard opened his eyes. 

“Howard? Howard, you awake?” Naboo’s face was expressionless. Unreadable. 

At first, Howard struggled to remember where he was and why everything hurt. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. He’d seen Vince before his eyes as he was sleeping, and now he was trying to remember why that image had brought tears to his eyes.

“Naboo?” He spoke in a soft, but hoarse voice and raised his head. He was lying on the sofa, upstairs. Who had carried him up here? How long had he been asleep? “Naboo, I think… I think I was sedated.” Howard groaned, almost apologetically. 

“You were.” Naboo nodded. “You’ve been out for two hours. Probably for the best, yeah?”

Naboo could tell that Howard was still struggling to cope. Even if his sleep was making him confused and flustered at the moment, the pain was still there. Strong and burning. 

Howard suddenly remembered everything and a shadow fell over his face. He didn’t feel tired anymore. “How is he?” Howard gasped, forcing himself to sit upright. “Has he woken up? Has he been asking for me?”

Naboo’s hand touched Howard’s shoulder again, forcing the big Northerner to sit back so that he didn’t strain himself. “No.” He said. “He’s still out. He’s weak from the blood transfusion. It’s probably going to be some time before he wakes up. But he’s still being treated.”

“He is?” Howard’s hands began to shake and his stomach felt incredibly heavy. “Has there been any… complications?” 

“So far, no.” Naboo was looking tired now, Howard noticed. “His lung is much better now – almost back to normal. But you have to understand that it takes time, Howard. He’s suffered more injuries than we thought at first. But with the blood transfusion, he won’t be in life danger anymore.”

Howard sighed with relief, bringing both hands up to cover his eyes. He wanted to cry so badly. His eyes stung and his throat ached from holding back the sobs. 

“He’s out of danger?” Howard’s voice was shaking, but he breathed through it. “He’s out of danger. Oh thank God…”

Naboo watched his employee in silence. Then he said: “I woke you up for a reason, though. I need your help with something, Howard.”

Howard looked up at that, suddenly feeling alarmed again. “What’s wrong?” 

“Don’t worry,” Naboo said, “there are still no complications. But I need you to make a decision on Vince’s behalf. A decision that the other shamans don’t feel comfortable making. You know him the best, after all.”

“A decision?” Howard repeated disbelievingly. Oh god, it wasn’t going to be the kind of decision that was going to leave Vince with an amputated leg, was it? What other decision could possibly make Naboo turn to Howard for help? 

“Follow me.” Naboo said simply, and Howard forced himself off the sofa, his legs and his body still heavy from the sedation. 

Naboo lead Howard towards the bedroom that he shared with Vince. Apparently, the shamans had carried Vince up here, thinking that he would be more comfortable lying in his own bed while they were still treating his wounds. Howard felt really angry with himself all of a sudden. The shamans were taking such good care of his friend, looking out for him and trying to make him comfortable. And all Howard had done was falling asleep, like he was the one who needed it.

He paused outside the bedroom, suddenly scared to go inside. He still remembered Vince’s pale face as he’d been lying down on the floor in the shop, barely breathing. The pain had been so evident even though his face had been relaxed as he was unconscious. It was something that Howard wasn’t looking forward to seeing again. He wasn’t stupid. It had only been two hours – he knew that Vince was still going to look broken and defeated, even if he was now out of danger.

“It’s okay.” Naboo whispered as though he knew why Howard was hesitating. “It might look bad, but it’s still him, Howard. It’s still Vince in there, and he needs you to be able to look at him when he wakes up.”

Howard nodded. He knew that Naboo was right. This wasn’t the time for being a coward. He loved Vince, and even if he was still covered in his own blood, he wasn’t going to look away from him. 

Naboo opened the door and let them both inside. Howard took in a deep breath. The bedroom was fully lit, but he couldn’t immediately see his friend. Three large shamans were surrounding Vince on his bed, one of them being Taboo. Howard stepped forward until he was close enough to see Vince’s small frame. His chest and torso was still exposed, but he was now wearing his pyjamas bottoms. The blood had been cleaned off his body – Howard noted a small bowl of crimson water on the night stand, along with several blood-soaked washcloths and towels. But even if the shamans had obviously done a diligent job cleaning Vince, Howard could tell that some of his open wounds were still wet as though they were threatening to start bleeding again. For a brief second, he wondered why they hadn’t wrapped him up in some bandage yet. 

Howard changed his angle a little bit so that he could lay eyes on Vince’s face. He was still in his state of unawareness, it seemed. Perhaps even as deeply unconscious as he was earlier. There was no twitching or stirring. Howard was certain that no sound had escaped his lips either. Oh gosh, he was still so sickening pale. It made him look so bloody fragile. It was a good thing that Naboo had ensured him that he was out of danger now, because he could still easily be mistaken for someone who was dying. Or dead.

Howard squinted his eyes and saw that a few things had actually changed. First of all, the skin beneath Vince’s eyes was so dark now that it almost looked black. Howard knew that this wasn’t just due to the fact that Vince had been punched in the face. It was more than just a black eye. It was a proof that the energy and strength had been sucked out of him, along with the blood loss, and it almost reminded Howard of the time back in the zoo when Vince had dressed up as a panda. Saying that, though, Vince’s bruises were more evident now. Especially around his jaw. His milky white skin was soon to become discoloured and ugly. At least his bruised cheek hadn’t swollen up as badly as one might have suspected it would. 

Finally, Howard also noted how Vince had broken a new sweat. It was especially evident on his forehead, but across the injured chest as well. Howard knew that the sweat drops were an indication of the pain that Vince’s body had been exposed to, but he also took it as a sign that at least now, Vince’s body was able to register the pain. His senses were waking up – it was cruel, but it was good, too. 

Naboo stepped up behind Howard. They both watched as the shamans carried on with their thorough examination, looking for more injuries to take care of. 

“The lung is healing, he’s breathing just fine now and we’ve made up for the blood loss.” Naboo said to Howard. “But he’s also got some broken ribs. His chest was nearly crushed when Bollo performed CPR, but as you know, it was necessary. We’ve got something for the broken bones to make it hurt less. But the bruises and all the bite marks, they are going to have to disappear on their own.” 

Howard closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Vince had been bitten and beaten up. Kicked. He didn’t want to think about it. 

“He’s also got a dislocated shoulder.” The shaman doctor, Taboo, added in a slightly tired voice. “You told me he took a fall down the stairs, yeah? No wonder he’s turning black and yellow everywhere.”

Howard’s vision was blurred by tears again, but he tried to supress it for as long as possible. He wasn’t surprised that Vince had this many injuries, but it was still different when you heard someone else say it out loud. It made it seem so real.

“Wh-what about his… stab wounds?” Howard swallowed hard. Those deep wounds which had caused Vince to nearly bleed out still worried him the most. 

“We’ve got them under control for now,” Taboo said, “no other organs were hit other than his lung. He’s also clear of internal bleedings. But there is one thing…”

“Yeah, there is one thing,” Naboo barged in and made Howard look down at him, “and that’s why I need your help, Howard. The decision you have to make for us, it’s got to do with Vince’s many cuts and wounds.”

Howard gulped. He didn’t want to look at them. They still looked bloody and deep. He feared he might get sick again. 

“Wh-what about them?” He forced himself to ask. “What’s to be decided?” 

Naboo could tell that Howard was getting extremely uncomfortable, so he tried to choose his words carefully. “See, Howard, there’s been done a lot of damage to Vince’s skin. The wounds will take long to heal and even after they do, he is still going to have ugly scars everywhere the knife has cut him open. Now, you and I both know Vince and, well… I think those scars would pretty much devastate him. Not just because he likes to wear fancy outfits, but also because those scars will always remind him of what happened. And other people will see his scars, too, and ask questions.”

Howard realised the truth of this. Vince even had a long cut down his cheek. Bloody hell, the scars really would be evident to everyone. 

“So what are you trying to say, Naboo?” He asked. “Can you do something to remove the scars?”

“We can. More or less.” Naboo said. “Taboo has got a lotion that could prevent the scars from forming on Vince’s body. His wounds still won’t heal immediately, but once they do, there won’t be anything left to see. No marks, no indication that he’s ever been attacked. If the lotion works, that is. It has to be applied pretty quickly after the injury has been done, but I think we still have some time.”

Howard wanted to draw a breath of relief, but he wasn’t able to. This was good news. “What are you waiting for then? My permission?” Howard gestured with his hands. “Go on and do it. If there’s a chance that Vince won’t have scars, it’s got to be worth trying!”

Naboo offered the big, Northern man a small smile. “I agree. But there is one thing you should know, and this is why we needed you to make the decision. If we apply the lotion on Vince’s body, it is probably going to make him pretty sick for a few days. I know he’s miserable and in pain already, that’s why we don’t feel right adding to it.” 

“Sick? What do you mean sick?” Howard looked from Naboo to Taboo. “How sick?”

“Nothing dangerous,” Taboo said, looking over his shoulder, “but your friend might run a high fever and get nauseous. Normally, it should be pretty manageable, but considering he’s weak and in pain already…”

“It might take even longer for him to recover and to gain consciousness.” Naboo added. “In worst case, he’ll be out for another few days, although I do think he’s going to wake up sooner than that. But the fever could make him delirious. He might get confused about what has happened and he might fall in and out of bad dreams. It could potentially ruin his ability to rest even when he needs it.” 

Howard bit his lip. All four shamans were staring at him now. “And am I supposed to decide if this is best for him or not?” Howard’s voice was trembling again. “I don’t know anything about your shaman magic or how powerful it is. I don’t know just how sick Vince will get, do I? How am I supposed to make this decision when I have no idea…”

He paused. If Vince woke up and was told that his entire body was covered in nasty scars that would never fade away, he really would be upset. His body would be marked forever. Marked by that crazy man who’d tortured him excessively. Even when Vince grew older, he still wouldn’t be able to escape the wounds from his past… Howard didn’t have the heart to let him be stuck with that. Not when there was an alternative.

“Howard?” Naboo only said his name, but it was supposed to be a reminder that they didn’t have much time. The lotion needed to be applied soon, otherwise it would be useless. 

Howard looked down, nodding quietly. “Do it. Even if it makes him sick, the scars would just… They would be too much for him to handle. I’ll look after him if he runs a fever or gets sick. Just do it.”

“Vince is too beautiful to be marked by scars and violence, but it’s not just about that.” Howard thought to himself. “He deserves better.”

Naboo tried to offer Howard a reassuring smile. “I think you’ve made the right call.” He said and padded Howard’s shoulder. “Thanks for your help, Howard.”

Howard wanted to snort and make a sarcastic remark. He hadn’t been helpful at all and he knew it. He had done nothing to save Vince. To protect him. He felt more useless than ever.

He looked up to see that two of the shamans were grabbing a hold of Vince’s arm and Vince’s legs, obviously trying to keep him down, keep him still even though he wasn’t moving at all.

“What are you doing?” Howard frowned in confusion. “He didn’t move, did he?” 

“No, but he might.” Taboo said and got up from the bed. “We are going to fix the dislocated shoulder before we grease him up in lotion. It won’t take long. Hopefully he’ll still be out when we pop him back into place, but these things are pretty painful. You never know…” 

Howard’s eyes opened wide and his throat had gone dry. He had a feeling that this was something he didn’t want to witness, but he couldn’t flee the room at this point. He just couldn’t. It was just a dislocated shoulder, after all. Nothing threatening. It happened to people all the time. No big deal… 

The two large shamans grabbed a hold of Vince’s limps again, and Taboo hovered over Vince’s still form. Before Howard could even make the decision if he should look away or not, Taboo seized Vince’s arm that seemed disconnected from the rest of the body and held it in a strong, powerful lock. Then, in one swift movement, he forced the arm back into its socket and in the very same instant, Vince’s body jolted upwards, his blue eyes popping open and a loud, agonising scream leaving his lips.

Vince’s scream grew louder and it didn’t stop when Taboo let go of his arm. Howard rushed to his friend’s bedside.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Hearing Vince screaming again had sent shivers down Howard’s spine. It was the much too familiar sound of Vince alone upstairs, being raped and attacked by a crazy stranger whilst Howard was held at gunpoint down in the shop, not being able to stop it. Vince’s screams were still just as intense and pleading, revealing so much pain and fear. Even now, after having been strangled to death and brought back to life, he was still screaming for his attacker to let go of him. Only this time, it wasn’t his attacker holding on to him and touching him.

The shamans looked at each other in shock. It was clear to them that it was the sudden pain that had triggered the young man’s screaming, but now that the pain had faded, he wasn’t calming down at all. Vince was very weak, but he still made an attempt to back away from the unfamiliar faces that were hovering over him, still holding on to his legs and his arm. He squirmed helplessly, too exhausted to actually free himself from the yellow, purple and green hands. He was shivering all over as he looked from one shaman to another. His big blue eyes were round with angst, and the tears in the corner of his eyes were threatening to spill. He wasn’t able to talk or to ask these strangers to let go of him. Instead he just began to whimper unhappily.

“Vince!” Howard knelt down by his bedside, absolutely overwhelmed to see his friend moving and to hear his voice again, even if it was much too strained to sound like him. “Vince, it’s okay! You’re safe – you’re safe now!”

Vince barely even registered Howard’s presence, or his words. He couldn’t keep his eyes focused on one thing alone; they kept darting from person to person, and now there were five faces staring back at him. He felt cornered… Trapped. Overpowered. 

Vince let out another series of frightened, whimpering noises as though he was about to cry. He was still tossing and turning in the bed, refusing to keep still. But he had to. If he moved around too much, he risked hurting himself all over again. It wasn’t just bad for his broken ribs, but his wounds also threatened to bleed again. And for that reason, the shamans held on to him, stubbornly, pushing him down on the mattress.

“Vince, listen to me, please.” Howard didn’t even notice his own tears streaming down his cheeks. “It’s me, Howard. You’re okay – you don’t have to be scared anymore. These shamans are here to take care of you. They are helping you. Vince, can you hear me?”

The tears began to roll down Vince’s cheeks and he didn’t stop whimpering. Waking up was all too much for his brain to process at the moment. He didn’t remember where he was or why he was in this much pain. He didn’t remember a thing but the fear. He let out another desperate scream and threw his head backwards. He wanted to escape… 

Howard seized Vince’s hand and held it tight between his own, passing some of his warmth on to the small body in the bed. He realised that his friend couldn’t talk even if he wanted to, so the only thing left to do was try and calm him down. Convince him that he was all right.

“Don’t be afraid, little man,” Howard wept and kissed Vince’s hand, “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I’m here and I’m going to look out for you, okay? You just have to relax and stop moving around. These shamans are going to take care of you and make the pain go away. Don’t you worry.”

Vince’s eyes weren’t focusing on anything anymore; he was staring blankly up at the ceiling. Instead of screaming or crying, he was now biting his lip – his poor, bloody lip – as he was trying to understand what was being said. He couldn’t piece a single thought together. He couldn’t think. He was so incredibly tired… The tears just kept on falling. 

“You’re okay. You’re going to be just fine, Vince. I promise.” Howard held his hand up to his lips again. “You’re not alone. I’m here with you, and I’m not leaving your side. Just close your eyes and relax. It’s all going to be okay…” 

After another minute of deep silence and uncomfortable shaking, Vince finally managed to listen to the sweet, gentle voice that he knew so well. He closed his eyes exhaustedly and mere seconds later, his body stopped shaking and resisting. He’d soon enough lost consciousness, but at least it meant that the shamans were able to work on him again. 

“Find me some more painkiller-potion,” Taboo ordered one of the other shamans, “and get the anti-scar lotion as well, before it’s too late.” 

Howard was still looking down at Vince’s pale face, now covered in both sweat and tears. He wasn’t going to look away. He was going to face it, every step of the way. Vince had calmed down when Howard had started talking to him, and he took it as a sign that Vince was still in there, needing him more than ever.

“Is it okay if I stay here and hold his hand?” Howard asked Naboo who hadn’t said a word since Vince woke up, screaming. “I would like to… I would like to stay with him this time.”

Naboo just nodded. “Stay as long as you need, Howard.”


	7. Chapter 7

The shamans applied the magic lotion, letting it cover every single cut or stab wound on Vince’s body. It had taken them some time to find all cuts, but it was worth it and they made it just in time, it seemed. At least that’s what Naboo told Howard, who still didn’t understand just how the shaman magic was working. 

The shamans had spent a lot of time tending to Vince’s wounds, and the young man had winced in his sleep every time he was touched. Howard was getting the idea that the lotion was burning painfully into his open flesh wounds, and it sure looked uncomfortable. But luckily, it wasn’t enough to wake up Vince again. 

After another hour or two, Vince’s chest and torso was basically wrapped up in bandages and he was also wearing smaller plasters here and there. It was only becoming more evident just how broken he had been. Or still was, to an extent. Howard had noticed the large, discoloured areas on his back, on his legs and over his chest and ribs. He was bruised like an old peach, the colours slowly turning black, blue and purple. His neck had been swelling up dangerously after the strangling, but instead of making Vince wear some sort of collar for support, they’d given him an injection which seemed to make the swelling subside after only a few minutes. But the angry hand marks were still there, red and very visible on the pale skin. 

Howard only left the room when Taboo suddenly insisted on performing a rape-kit on Vince. Even though they all basically knew that it had happened, Taboo made the point that they needed to know for certain. (Without mentioning it to Howard, he also wanted to make sure that Vince wasn’t completely ruined down there). 

Howard felt guilty for leaving the room when he had promised Vince not to leave him and not to look away as though he was ashamed to face him, but Naboo convinced him that Vince wouldn’t know he was gone.

“Don’t worry, Howard. Vince would never have made you stay to watch this part, anyway.”

Both Naboo and Howard left the bedroom momentarily. Howard was still shaking and tearing up every now and then, but above all, he was just anxious for the treatment to end. It wasn’t that he wanted to get rid of the shamans, but the more time they spent with Vince, the more worried he was that they were going to discover a new injury. Howard might just suffer a nervous breakdown if that was the case. 

“You’re beginning to look pale, Howard.” Naboo remarked in concern. “You need to sit down and rest for a while. Let me find Bollo and see what he’s doing. Maybe he can cook you a meal and get you a drink. That would do you good.” 

They both walked into the kitchen when they made a discovery that had them freezing in shock and wonder.

Bollo was kneeling at the kitchen floor, busy rubbing it clean with a handful of wet towels, a mop and a large bucket full of soapy water. The gorilla looked upset and unhappy, but determined to erase every stain, every trace of blood and semen. 

“Bollo?” Naboo gaped in surprise. “What are you doin’?” 

It took a while before the gorilla even looked up from the job that he was doing. When he did, Howard was under the impression that the ape had been crying, but didn’t want them to find out.

“Bollo was carrying Vince upstairs,” Bollo sniffled, “and then Bollo walked into kitchen. Saw how messy it was.”

Oh God. It was here. It was here that it happened. That creep had actually been sinister enough to attack Vince on the kitchen floor. 

“Bollo didn’t want Harold to see this.” The gorilla added sadly. “It was too ugly. Bollo had to clean it up before anyone saw. So much blood everywhere…” 

Howard wanted to burst into tears and sob heavily. Oh god. He was truly relieved that he had been too late to witness the crime scene. Oh thank god… He simply walked over and knelt beside the big gorilla, looking into the (slightly unnatural) blue eyes.

“Thank you, Bollo. Thank you for doing that.”

He wrapped his arms around the fury body and pulled the gorilla into a heartfelt hug. Bollo stiffened at first, but then he merely hugged Howard back, being careful not to crush him with his big, strong arms. 

“Bollo just wanted to help,” the gorilla sobbed and wiped his eyes, “Bollo think it is unfair what happened to precious Vince.” 

“You got that right…” Howard whispered, but no one heard him.

He didn’t care if all the evidence against the three criminals had just been wiped away. They didn’t need evidence to punish them if they were ever found. There had to be alternative methods. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard had been sat down to rest on the sofa. Naboo had brought him a warm meal along with a cold drink, ordering him to finish it all. Now the small shaman was cooking new meals so that there would be enough for everyone. After all, it had been hours since the shamans arrived to take care of the situation. Everybody was exhausted at this point, so Naboo figured that everybody must have been feeling hungry as well. 

Howard didn’t really have any appetite, but he tried to eat the food on his plate anyway. He didn’t want to be difficult or attract attention to himself. He had only just finished his drink when Taboo walked out of the bedroom and went to gather the three flat mates in the same room. Howard, Naboo and Bollo were all sat in the sofa when Taboo, gently, told them that he had found evidence that Vince had been raped. There had been a few tears, he said, and he’d been bleeding, but it was going to heal on its own. 

“Oh god…” Howard had known it all along. He had known that it was going to happen from the moment that the stranger had walked up to Vince and kissed him shamelessly. And yet it was so overwhelming to have it confirmed. “This is a nightmare.” He whispered weakly before letting the tears flow once again. 

Naboo and Bollo padded his back without saying anything. For once, words were superfluous.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

It was late at night when, finally, the shamans were confident that they had done all they could to relieve Vince’s pain and speed up the process of healing. 

“We better be going,” Taboo told Naboo as he followed him out of the bedroom, “there is nothing more for us to do at the moment and the young man won’t rest properly with so many people around him. He needs some peace and quiet. Sleep is the best medicine, after all.”

“You have a point.” Naboo agreed with him. “Thank you for everything, Taboo. Vince would’ve been dead if you hadn’t shown up. I didn’t know which spells to use. I could never have saved him on my own.”

“Well, I owed you one, didn’t I?” Taboo laid a hand on Naboo’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. Shaman medicine is the most complicated magic of all. It took me nearly a hundred years to learn. But you’re smarter than you think. I know that you can look after the kid from now on. And if the situation changes, you call me immediately. Don’t let his fever get too high – with all the drugs we’ve been giving him, that could be really dangerous.”

“I’ll remember that.” Naboo tried his best to supress a yawn, but truth be told, he was the most tired he’d been in nearly thirty years. Shamans don’t get tired unless there’s good reason to… “Please let me know if any of you… If any of you catches the attackers. They might be long gone now, but I would really hate it if they got away with this.”

Taboo sighed bitterly. “We won’t rest until we find them. Don’t you worry about that. Saboo and Tony Harrison are flying over Dalston and searching as we speak right now. Dennis and Kirk will join them very soon, too. There will be nowhere for those bloody idiots to hide. Not even in London town.”

Inside the bedroom, Howard had fallen asleep sitting by Vince’s bedside, but now he woke up to hear Taboo and Naboo speaking. Even though he was looking forward to the peace and quiet (the flat had been too crowded with all the shamans), he still felt like panicking. What if Vince relapsed and got really sick? Howard wouldn’t know what to do to help. He didn’t have any potions and he didn’t know any magical healing tricks. 

He had heard Taboo warning Naboo about Vince’s fever. Howard feared that it might be starting to show already. When he – carefully – touched Vince’s forehead with the back of his hand, his friend did indeed feel strikingly warm. That anti-scar lotion must have really been burningly painful to apply. Vince had been so cold and lifeless earlier, and now his blood was practically boiling and he could barely stay still. Even though he was still out, he was twitching almost nervously and making small, unintelligible noises. Howard believed it had to do with the pain, but he also feared that the rise of temperature had turned him delirious already. And the effect of the lotion hadn’t even kicked in properly yet… 

“Don’t worry, Vince, I’ll look over you. I’ll make sure you don’t burn up.” Howard promised his friend loyally. He wanted to bend over and kiss Vince’s forehead, but he feared that the physical contact would make him wake up screaming in fear again.

It was best to simply leave him alone to heal in peace, Howard decided. Even if he wanted to touch him more than anything else.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard had been wanting to stay awake all night and all morning as well, watching out for Vince. Making sure that no one else tried to get near him. But Naboo must have decided that this was a bad idea; he had drugged the tea when he had brought it in the bedroom and given it to Howard around 5am. 

“Any changes?” He had asked innocently, watching as Howard took a quick sip.

“He still feels warm.” Howard had yawned, too tired to show his deep concern. “He’s also been moaning like he’s in pain. I don’t like it. I think the painkillers are wearing off.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s still too early to give him a new dose. As long as he’s asleep, I’m sure he won’t feel a thing.” Naboo had no idea if this was true, but he knew that he desperately needed to calm Howard down. Otherwise he’d never get the rest he needed so much.

“I think you should go to bed.” Naboo had told him straight. “Bollo has already had a nap, so he can stay awake from now on and look after him for you. You’ll be sleeping in the same room, so you won’t even be leaving him.”

Howard had shaken his head, stubbornly. “I don’t need to sleep.” He whispered. “I just want to stay here.”

Naboo had given up on trying to convince him, but on his way out, he’d cleverly turned around and said: “At least finish your tea, yeah?”

And Howard had. And now, probably a million years later, he’d woken up with a dull headache, feeling tired and confused at first. But then he quickly realised why Naboo had made him that tea in the first place. Oh bloody hell, he almost felt numbed. Howard didn’t know if he should be grateful for the drugs or not. He had probably needed the sleep, and granted, he wouldn’t have been able to close an eye without some help. 

However, Howard’s attitude quickly changed when he sat up in the bed and realised – in horror – that the bed opposite to his was empty. 

“Vince?” Howard’s voice was thick with sleep, but now he felt like he’d been jolted awake. “Vince?”

Where the hell could he have gone? How long had Howard been out? What if Vince had woken up in the meantime, scared and alone? Had he been trying to shake Howard awake? Had he panicked? Had he been in pain and needed help? Oh god, if Vince had woken up all by himself and Howard had missed it…

But then Howard came to his senses. There was no way. Based on the condition that Howard had last seen him in, Vince would have been too drugged and exhausted to wake up this soon. Even if that had been the case, he certainly would have been too weak to get out of bed without any help. But then it hit him: What if those murderous creeps had come back for him? What if he’d been abducted? 

Knowing that he was probably being paranoid, but not being able to help it, Howard jumped out of bed. He was still fully clothed – the drugs had hit him so suddenly last night, he hadn’t had the chance to do anything before pathetically passing out on his own bed. Now he was escaping the bedroom desperately and he didn’t care to even take a look at himself in the mirror before running into Naboo’s room. It was empty. He then went to the kitchen (although this was not a place he enjoyed setting his foot, given what had happened here not that long ago). No one was around. Finally, Howard made his way into the living room – the “TV-room” really – and fortunately, he found both Naboo and Bollo seated on two chairs on front of the sofa. As he stepped closer, Howard discovered Vince’s small frame sprawled out on the large sofa cushions. He was still asleep.

“Oh thank God!” Howard breathed loudly, and both Naboo and Bollo turned their heads.

“Howard?” Naboo said questioningly. “You look like you’ve been runnin’ or something.” 

He almost had.

Howard took in a deep breath. “No, I – I woke up and saw that Vince’s bed was empty. I thought…” Howard supressed a deep growl when he felt the tears returning to his red eyes. “Oh God, I thought something had happened to him. Again.”

Naboo looked at Howard in sympathy, perhaps feeling a bit bad that he forgot to leave a note in the bedroom explaining everything to the man he’d drugged. Bollo simply kept his eyes on Vince as he held a soaked washcloth down to his pale forehead and patted the burning hot skin gently.

“I’m sorry, Howard,” Naboo spoke quietly, “you shouldn’t have to wake up like that. Nothing’s happened, don’t worry. It’s just that it was easier for us to keep an eye on Vince in here. If we both stayed in the bedroom, we would only have woken you up.”

“Bollo carried Vince.” Bollo added almost solemnly. “Bollo very careful because of the broken ribs and the wounds.”

“You did good, Bollo.” Naboo told his familiar.

Howard’s heart was still pounding. He couldn’t properly see Vince from here, but he wasn’t ready to move closer. Not yet. 

“So you drugged me, huh?” He said it as a statement, but there was no trace of blame to be found in his tired voice. “How long have I been out?”

Naboo took a quick look at the clock. “Ten hours.” He lisped. “It’s almost four in the afternoon.”

Howard just nodded. No wonder his body felt so stiff. “And how’s he been… I mean – are there any changes? He didn’t wake up, did he?”

“No, of course he didn’t.” Naboo looked down at Vince for a brief moment. “He’ll be out for the rest of the day, I think. But he’s less quiet now. And it’s been difficult to make him keep still. He’s definitely got a fever now; he keeps trying to kick off the blankets we drape around him, but his legs aren’t strong enough.”

Howard gave himself a mental slap on the cheek and forced himself to walk towards the sofa. The first thing he noticed was that the colour of Vince’s face had changed completely. He was still soaked in sweat, but now his cheeks were burning red. (And purple and yellow, too, thanks to the bruises that were now even more evident). It looked like the young man was trembling, and his breath still sounded ragged. Howard was certain that if he felt his skin now, he’d wince at the heat. 

“I… I…” Howard couldn’t put his emotions into words. “Naboo, is he supposed to look like that? Does he have to wear those blankets when he’s burning up?” 

A single tear escaped Howard’s eyes, rolling down his cheek. Naboo noticed, of course.

“I know it looks uncomfortable, Howard, but I’m sure. He needs to stay warm. The fever is the lotion’s work, but it means that it’s working. It will take time and it will keep burning for a while, but the scars will fade. I’m sure of it now.”

Naboo got up from his chair, but Bollo stayed put.

“You said he was less quiet now,” Howard remarked, “has he been talking?”

“He’s been trying to, but it’s still all unintelligible noises. He’s slightly delirious, but that could be because of the painkillers as well as the fever.” Naboo studied Howard’s tired, drained face. “I’m gonna make you something to eat. You need that. Here, take my chair. I’m sure you would like to sit with him for a while, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Howard’s voice trembled dangerously. “Thanks, Naboo.”

“All right. Come on, Bollo,” Naboo gestured to his familiar, “I think Howard wants to be alone with him. You should get some sleep now that you’re not on watch anymore.”

“Bollo not tired.” The gorilla pouted, not unlike Howard last night. “Bollo still wants to help.”

“You’ve done plenty to help him; Vince doesn’t need you right now. He needs Howard. Get some sleep, Bollo, or help me cook if you prefer.”

“Uh, Bollo go to bed now.” The gorilla grunted, and mere seconds later, Howard was all alone in the room with his sleeping Vince.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard was staring almost helplessly at the younger man before him, noticing how the cheeks were almost turning redder with the fever. At this sight, his profound love and his eternal urge to protect Vince from any harm in this world had conquered his angst and his sudden fear of touching him, in case he would break – and before he even knew it, Howard was leaning in and he caressed his friend’s cheek with his finger. 

It was burning hot.

“There, there.” Howard whispered, almost like he was talking to a weeping child. “It’s only going to get better from now on, I promise.”

He softly brushed Vince’s fringe away from his eyes, feeling his forehead as well. It was just as bad as his cheeks. The small man was obviously covered in sweat and it was no wonder that his body was protesting against the blankets. He was glad that Vince wasn’t awake for this continuous suffering. Sure, he was making small noises every now and then as though he was on the verge of consciousness, but thanks to the drugs he’d been given, he couldn’t possibly be lucid enough to interpret anything that was going on. It was still too soon. 

Howard knew that it was probably going to be painful and chaotic for Vince whenever he woke up, but at the same time, he felt desperate to hear his voice again. To hear him speak and make sure that his intelligence hadn’t been compromised by the attack. He firmly believed that Vince was going to make a full recovery and become his old self again. It could take a while, but Howard wasn’t going anywhere.

“I miss you. I love you.” Howard whispered and kissed Vince’s hand slowly. “I’m going to take really good care of you, little man. And in return, you will come back to me as soon as you can, all right?” 

Suddenly, Vince whimpered and turned his head in Howard’s direction. Naturally, his eyes remained closed but it definitely felt like he was sensing the other man’s presence. 

“Vince?” Howard noticed the frown between his friend’s eyebrows, revealing his hurt and his unhappiness. It was as though Vince was subconsciously trying to show Howard how much misery he was in. “I know, I know. It’s not nice, but it’s going to be all right. You’re strong. You are going to bounce back in no time.”

Howard began to pet Vince by once again caressing his cheeks and stroking his hair lovingly. He kept talking to him in the most soothing voice, reminding him that he was okay, that he loved him and was going to stay by his side. He even began to sing Gary Numan to the younger man, just in case he could hear him. He wasn’t very good at it, but Howard was determined to do everything he could to make Vince feel safe again and he knew how much he loved Gary. 

Vince was so much more than just a victim of rape and violence. Howard felt ashamed for having been unable to look at him earlier, scared to face his injuries and the on-going suffering. But now Howard knew that he could see past all the hurt. Vince deserved better than to just being pitied and mourned – after all, he had just conquered death in the most incredible manner. He deserved to be honoured and respected instead. Vince was the sunshine kid – sparkling and strong, even now. Howard wasn’t going to let anyone steal away or break his personality. His identity. Vince’s innocence and cheerfulness was something that Howard loved and adored all the way to the moon and back – he was going to make sure that Vince was reminded of that every day.

Howard bent down to kiss his friend’s forehead. “You’re so beautiful. You only think you look good when you’ve straightened your hair and put on some sparkling outfit, but you’re wrong. You’re just as beautiful without all the glitter.”

Howard couldn’t keep himself from smiling just a little bit. Yes, it was still going to be very painful, but he knew that they would both make it through. They were going to stick together and they were going to come back even stronger than before because of that. It was only a matter of time. 

He stayed with his friend, maintaining a confident smile on his face even though the tears had started falling again. He only took his eyes off Vince when Naboo appeared in the door and told him that his food was ready.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

It was evening when Howard noticed that Vince’s fever had worsened; he was completely soaked in sweat now, the black hair was all damp, and it seemed downright cruel to leave him under the insufferable heat of the blankets. Howard decided to talk to Naboo about this. It had finally been the shaman’s turn to take a nap after spending so many hours taking care of everything and everyone, but now Howard knocked on the door to his bedroom. 

The shaman quickly appeared in the door, already dressed and, from the look of it, ready to go. Go where?

“Naboo, I thought you were asleep?” Howard frowned. 

“I was, but I was woken up. The shamans were trying to contact me.” Naboo explained. 

“Oh yeah? What did they say?” For some reason, Howard felt instantly worried. He naturally assumed that the shamans were only contacting Naboo because some kind of problem had occurred. 

As always, Naboo’s expression couldn’t be read. He sighed: “They want me and Bollo to come over right away. They think they might have caught the men who attacked you and Vince. All three of them. But they need someone to identify them, and since both me and Bollo got a pretty good look at them, well… You catch my drift, right?”

Howard was speechless. Ever since he woke up, he’d felt too numb to really identify any of his emotions, and now was no exception. Should he feel relieved? Hopeful that they had caught the right people? He would much rather feel angry. He would much rather go with Naboo, stand in front of the devils, the criminals, the scumbags, and poke their eyes out whilst they were being held captive by the shamans. Howard wanted revenge so badly…

But no. He couldn’t allow himself to think like that. The violence had to stop… He now knew what anger could do to one person – how it could corrupt and mess with your head. If he let his inner rage conquer and if he took his want for revenge out on the three strangers, then he would be no better than they were. He would be just as sick, just as perverted and inhuman… He couldn’t do that to Vince. Vince needed him to be his rock now. And so, there was no way that Howard could allow the anger to get a hold of him.

Naboo registered Howard’s widened eyes and his almost heaving chest. He decided to break the silence: “Howard, you know you can’t go yourself. You need to stay here and look after Vince. But I promise you that I remember their faces perfectly. I will know if it’s them. I won’t let them get away with all of this.”

Howard nodded and tried to calm himself down. He trusted Naboo fully. “Thank you.” He whispered. “Can you promise me something else, too?”

“Sure, Howard. What is it?”

“If it’s really them,” Howard hesitated, “could you ring me up or something? I want to know exactly what the shamans decide to do with them. I want to know exactly how they will be punished.”

Naboo nodded and promised this as well. He was just about to go look for Bollo when he remembered something. “You were knocking on my door a minute ago,” he reminded Howard who was still looking utterly shocked, “did you want to ask me something?” 

“Oh, right…” Howard forced himself out of the sudden trance he’d been pulled into. “Yeah, I wanted to ask you if I could – if I could give Vince a sponge bath or something? I mean, he’s covered in sweat and he feels way too hot. I think he needs cooling down.”

To Howard’s surprise, Naboo agreed instantly without even wanting to check up on their friend first. He completely trusted Howard’s assessment, it seemed. “Yes, you can do that,” the small shaman said, “it might be good for him. But Howard, one thing.”

“What?” Howard asked.

“You’re gonna have to apply the anti-scar lotion on his wounds again once you’ve bathed him. If you wash it all off now, the lotion won’t have had enough time to fully do the magic.” 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Naboo and Bollo left on their carpet, and Howard filled up a large bucket of ice cold, soapy water and brought it with him into the living room, settling down in front of the sofa. He slowly removed the blankets from Vince’s hot, burning body. 

“I know that you normally hate cold water, little man, but right now I think you need it more than anything.” Howard kissed Vince’s forehead one last time before picking up the sponge and letting it fill with the soapy water. 

Vince whimpered the whole way through it. Even when Howard hadn’t even started yet and had only been trying to remove the little man’s t-shirt, Vince had been tossing and turning desperately as though Howard’s hands on his body was a toxic combination. And this notion made Howard feel absolutely sick. He hated himself for having to touch and undress Vince when he was oblivious and defenceless, but… He had no choice, did he?

Howard tried shushing him, he tried caressing his hair and telling him that everything was okay, that he wasn’t going to hurt him, but it was useless. Vince was more or less determined to go through with his panic attack. In the end, Howard had simply been forced to pull the rest of his damp clothes off so that he could spray some of the cool water on the burning hot skin. He didn’t want Vince to burn up or suffocate from his fever just because Howard had been too scared to touch him. But then he remembered that he of all people was supposed to be able to do this job. He was Vince’s person. His ‘next of kin’. If there was anyone in this world that Vince was completely safe with, it was Howard Moon. 

Or so it used to be. Howard had always thought that he’d be able to protect Vince from anything and from anyone. He’d been arrogant. He’d been wrong. He hadn’t been able to protect Vince from three maniacs with guns and knives. That was the one time when Vince, regrettably, had been all on his own. 

“I’m sorry, Vince, but I have to do this,” Howard whispered as he held the cool sponge down to his friend’s burning chest, “I’m doing it because it’s best for you.”

Vince whined loudly when his exposed skin was abused by the sharp, icy coolness of the water. Even though he was still completely unaware and under the effect of the painkillers, his body still reacted to everything. As Howard kept on pouring more of the water onto his shivering, sweaty body, Vince arched his back upwards and moved his head to the side, too weak to raise his arms and bat Howard’s hands away, but still trying to escape whatever made his body scream with such fierce discomfort and distress. The shivering grew painfully heavy and his breath got stuck in his throat.

Howard saw this and decided to hurry up. Vince still needed the bath in order to lower his fever, but he had no intensions of letting his friend suffer for longer than necessary. He quickly filled the sponge with water again and let it run over Vince’s limps, his arms and legs, his chest and torso, his sore neck, his sweaty face. Howard even poured some cold water into the messy, damp hair and rubbed the soap into the sweat-soaked black locks. 

In the end, he decided that he should also try to give Vince’s backside a quick scrub. Howard let a large towel cover the front of Vince’s wet, shivering body and moved to change his position. He was rather hesitant to try and lift his friend’s body, especially because of the broken ribs. But he carefully tried to make Vince sit upright in the sofa by snaking an arm around his shoulders and pulling him upwards, very gently. Howard prepared the sponge one last time, and he – 

And he absolutely froze when he discovered the angry, red letters carved into the skin on Vince’s naked back. 

Whore, it said. Whore. 

Howard couldn’t believe it. Oh god, how could someone be so cruel and unfair? How could someone do such a thing without even knowing the innocence of Vince’s character and nature? Before he even registered his own spilling tears, Howard broke down crying with his arms still wrapped around Vince’s unmoving body. He bawled and he wailed, unable to control his own outbursts. He couldn’t keep his sorrow to himself any longer; he had to let it out. 

He continued to weep as he washed Vince’s backside. He continued to sniffle as he, reluctantly, used the towel to dry Vince’s red, almost spotted skin before he applied the horrible lotion and let it cover every wound and every cut once again. The shamans had been right, Howard decided; Vince’s scars needed to disappear. Now he understood why they had been so eager to suggest the idea with the anti-scar lotion in the first place. He knew that they all must have seen the attacker’s cruel, mocking greeting for Vince spelled out on his back, but they obviously hadn’t had the heart to show this ugly word to Howard. He didn’t blame them. It just needed to disappear… 

Vince cried and whimpered in his sleep when the burning sensation of the lotion returned, but Howard couldn’t do anything to help him. The lotion had to stay on this time, even if this meant that Vince’s fever would last longer. He made sure to kiss the young man’s face and caress his cheeks as he tried to comfort him. His temperature felt almost normal after the icy water, but Howard knew that it was only a matter of time before the fever returned. He found some new, clean clothes for Vince to wear but he didn’t wrap him up in the blanket this time. (He hoped Naboo wouldn’t blame him for this later). 

Just as Howard had managed to stop his own tears, he settled down in front of the sofa, holding Vince’s hand and watching him wince in pain in his sleep. Then he heard his phone ringing.

Oh god. That could only mean one thing. Or could it?

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard had left Vince alone in the living room as he decided to take the call to the bedroom. He was unsure of just how unconscious Vince really was and he didn’t want to risk having him hearing any part of the conversation and then remembering it later when he, eventually, woke up. Howard knew that he was being paranoid, but he also knew that whatever Naboo had to tell him might be unpleasant to hear.

“Naboo?” Howard could feel his own heart pounding in his chest as he waited for the shaman to give him either the good or the bad news. “What’s up? Did you and Bollo talk to the shamans? Did you identify the… the attackers?” 

That was not the word that Howard had wanted to use initially. It wasn’t harsh enough. It didn’t really describe those evil maniacs and their deeds.

Naboo’s voice sounded unusually strained as he spoke the words: “Howard, we’ve got a problem.”

Howard frowned and waited for the shaman to elaborate, but there was only silence. What was wrong all of a sudden? What had caused Naboo to hesitate like this?

“Naboo?” Howard rushed him worriedly. “What is it? Was it… Was it the wrong guys you caught?” 

“Yes and no.” Naboo seemed to be hesitating again. “Listen, Howard, we’ve got two of them. I recognised them immediately; it was the two men holding you at gunpoint downstairs in the shop. But the third one, I mean Vince’s attacker…”

Howard swallowed hard. Oh god, no. Not him… 

“W-what about him?” Howard gasped nervously. “Naboo, tell me!”

“It wasn’t him,” Naboo breathed, almost apologetically, “both me and Bollo took a thorough look at him, we really did. But it wasn’t him, I’m certain. He wasn’t broad enough, or tall enough. Of course the two men tried to convince us – a little too eagerly – that he was the man we were looking for, but they were just trying to cover up for their friend by letting someone innocent take his place. The other shamans quickly picked up on this, so they let the unidentified man go. But, Howard, there’s more…”

“More?” Howard repeated anxiously. “You mean, it’s not bad enough that he’s actually still out there? There’s more?”

“Yeah, uhm…” Naboo took a deep breath. “Dennis wanted to threaten the two men into telling us where their friend was hiding. But in the end, he didn’t dare to touch them. You know what Dennis is like; he’s got a very big mouth for someone so cowardly. He can’t do drugs either without going absolutely mental… He’s a little like you, Howard.”

“How very dare you?” Howard exclaimed, but he quickly realised that they didn’t have time for this.

“Yeah sorry, uh, anyway,” Naboo lisped, “it was actually Kirk who started to beat the crap out of both of them, while they were chained to some trees, of course. After only five minutes they were both sobbing and begging for mercy and they ended up telling us everything they know. I’m afraid that they have no idea where their friend is now, but… But they did say that he might be trying to make his way back to the shop. Howard, you’ve got to look out. Me and Bollo are going to rush back to the flat right away, all right? And then we’ll all make a plan together, just in case he comes back. We’ll catch him, Howard, I promise. He won’t get a chance to hurt anyone. Not again…”

Howard had stopped breathing. Not because of what Naboo had just told him, but because he had heard a noise like a door being kicked open downstairs, in the shop. He froze as though he’d been nailed to the floor; utterly unable to even move an inch. 

Naboo’s warning had come too late.

Surely this could not be happening, could it? He had to be dreaming – it had to be a nightmare. Just like the past 24 hours had to be a nightmare… 

“Oh god, Naboo,” Howard whispered in a hoarse, desperate voice, “he’s here already. I heard him. He’s down in the shop…”

“What?!” Naboo spat. “Howard, are you sure? I mean, I locked the door when we left.”

“He’s kicked the door in,” Howard nearly cried in panic, “oh God, what am I gonna do? Oh God, oh God…”

He quickly silenced himself and he froze again. He had heard footsteps this time. On the stairs. He was on his way up here this very second. Howard realised that he needed to do something before it was too late so he hung up the phone before Naboo’s voice could reveal his hiding place. If he made sure to keep quiet, surely the maniac wouldn’t know where to look for him.

But Vince – oh bloody hell, Vince was all alone and unprotected out there. And, if Howard was honest, it was fairly likely that he was the reason for the psychopath’s return. He couldn’t let him get hurt even worse – Howard would rather die than fail him once again. But he couldn’t just go out there without a plan, could he?


	8. Chapter 8

The man had returned to the Nabootique as soon as he heard that his mates had been found and captured by the shamans. He felt angry. He knew that the shamans were now looking for him, and he found it truly annoying. Surely he didn't deserve this treatment, did he? He was a free man and he'd only given the little ponce, Vince Noir, what he'd obviously been begging for…

So he decided to come back and let them all know just how angry they had made him. They would all be sorry if they didn't leave him and his mates alone, for certain. Word on the street was that the little princess Noir had survived the rough shag he'd been given, which he felt almost amazed by. Princess Noir hadn't looked so good when he'd left him to die on the floor yesterday. He knew that it must have been the work of the shamans that had helped him pull through, because he knew he had done an otherwise pretty good job messing him up with his knife…

Of course, if the little ponce was really alive and breathing, this could all turn into something positive. This could mean one more blowjob from those pretty lips. One more round of rough, forceful sex that left him drooling with pleasure. One more victory that reminded him how superior he was.

As he ascended the stairs, he couldn't help but to smile. Oh, he felt great now. Hardly angry at all. This was going to be so much fun. Just like yesterday had been so much fun. Life was great. He felt free to do whatever he desired.

The flat was surrounded by dead silence. You would have thought that no one was around, but he knew that the idiots couldn't have moved Princess Noir out of the flat; he was much too broken for that. It was just a matter of time before he found him. He felt like a hungry wolf searching for his prey. He could almost smell the blood, and the erection was already making his trousers bulge. He was so ready to attack again. He felt unstoppable…

He entered the living room and his eyes immediately darted towards the sofa in the centre of the room. He held a hand across his own stomach and he laughed audibly. Vince Noir was lying there, sprawled out in his unconscious state, just waiting for him. Oh, this was too easy… But he didn't mind. This time, there wouldn't be much struggling it seemed.

"Well, well, well… Look what we've got here!" He moved closer, inch by inch. "Just when I thought I'd messed you up so badly that you'd never look pretty again…"

He licked his lips and squatted before the sofa, bringing his own face closer towards the frame of the broken, young man. Sure, he was bruised like a peach, cut into and pale as a ghost, but there was still something very delicate about his relaxed, innocent face. He seemed so easy to take advantage of; he was completely defenceless. Although, in a way, he wished that he was still conscious. The way Vince Noir had been screaming the other night had been the biggest turn-on in the history of man, and now he wasn't even awake to register what was going on. It would probably be less fun this time when he didn't get any reaction. (Those agonised cries had made him feel so powerful and oh, so virile).

Oh well, he could still give it a go.

He reached out one of his big, rough hands and he admired the work he'd done; he trailed his finger across Vince's jawline and down his neck, taking in all the bite marks that were still visible from last night's sweet, sweet action. Then he took in the sight of his own angry hand marks around the small throat as well. Bloody hell, he'd forgotten just how brutally he'd been trying to choke the life out of his victim. Now he felt quite impressed with himself – those marks had to hurt, surely. How the hell had the small ponce even survived it? He would never know.

"The bruises might be ugly, princess, but I gotta say…" The man paused to take a deep breath, but he was chuckling too. "You still look like a hot piece of arse. I'm not going to pass up on this opportunity to do ya again. That would be crazy."

Vince flinched in his sleep and he frowned his brows as he tried to turn his head away from the teasing, lingering touch. It didn't feel gentle like Howard's – it didn't feel safe…

The man backed away, slightly surprised by this.

"Are you gonna wake up now, gorgeous?" He laughed eagerly. "You don't want to miss out on all the fun, do ya? You don't wanna miss out on feeling my big, hard cock up inside ya again, do you? In that case…"

The man swiftly removed his belt and unzipped his trousers as he mounted the small man on the sofa, straddling his narrow hips. Vince uttered a small, whimpering sound, but he didn't wake up. The man was free to do whatever he wanted to – again.

"Right. So should we get down to business or do you want us to play around first?" The man grinned, feeling himself getting harder and harder. "I'm in no hurry, pretty-boy. I think I'm gonna take my sweet time with this if you don't mind…"

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

Howard heard the man entering the living room, spotting Vince on the sofa right away. He knew he didn't have much time.

He'd made his way to Naboo's bedroom and he was now going through the shaman's secret stash. Without having any clue of what to search for, Howard went through every potion and magic spell that he could possibly find. Half of it he couldn't even identify – he had no idea what the spells would do and he was much too scared to chance anything. For all he knew, a spell gone wrong could make everything worse instead of helping. He could be doing the bad guy a favour by screwing up majorly…

"Come on, Naboo," Howard cursed under his breath, "you must have something! You must be prepared for emergencies – you're a shaman, for God's sake!"

He found a dead frog. He found a spell for turning people green. He found everything except from a gun, or a knife, or an axe – he found a small bottle of something that Naboo had marked as invisibility potion. Howard paused. Over half of it was missing, there wasn't much left. He wondered if it would even work. He wouldn't suddenly grow magic powers just from turning himself invisible – he still wouldn't be able to take down a man that size. But what else could he possibly do? He had to try something, didn't he?

Without having time to think, Howard emptied the bottle. He winced; it tasted like cat piss. He bloody well hoped that this wasn't a stupid trick of Naboo's and that the potion wouldn't turn out to be a fake. In fact, Howard was fairly sure that he would strangle the shaman if this had been put here as a joke. He would –

Howard looked down at his own hands as they disappeared before his eyes. He gaped in shock and looked down at the rest of his body. Nothing. Everything that was Howard Moon had vanished from the surface of the earth, and had it not been for the dangerous situation that he and Vince were in now, he would have panicked big time. What if Naboo had been super high when he'd made the potion and it turned out to be a dodgy one? What if Howard was never going to have his big, proud, Northern body back?

But he was a man of action, wasn't he? Howard knew he couldn't allow himself to think like this. It was time to be brave and time to do, not think.

Without knowing how to use his new invisibility advantage, Howard left Naboo's bedroom and hurried into the living room, praying that he was not too late.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

The man had pulled his trousers slightly down and he was holding his own belt in his hands whilst straddling Vince. That was the first thing Howard saw when he walked in. The second thing he saw was the big bulge in his pants, revealing an erection that was practically begging for release. It was the most repulsing thing he'd ever witnessed.

"That bastard!" Howard thought, feeling the blood boiling in his veins. "I can't believe he had the nerve to come back!"

He watched as the man bowed down, bringing his ugly mug closer to Vince's precious face. He reached out his hand and let his long, rough fingers run through Vince's hair, almost pulling it possessively. Howard wanted to run forward and punch this creep right in the face – he wasn't allowed to get near Vince. Not again, not ever. It was so wrong, but he didn't know how to stop it. He needed an object to punch him out with. His hands might be big and Northern, but they were just not strong enough.

"Oh, you're fine, princess," the man grunted all of a sudden, "I can't believe it, but you're still so very pretty even though I beat the shit out of ya." This was followed by an evil laughter. "We did have fun, didn't we? Well, it's ya own fault for bein' so bloody irresistible. You're delicate like a bird, I'm tellin' ya. And you smell good. And you taste good."

Howard bit his lip and tried to supress his anger. However, he knew that he would remember these words for the rest of his life. They would continue to haunt him, even if everyone else should forget. Yeah, he had always fancied Vince to death himself, but bloody hell, Howard had never thought of his friend that way, had he? Even when he had felt heavy with love and frustrated with want and admiration, he'd never in a million years felt tempted to break Vince down and turn him into a mere object – an object that Howard could possess and dominate in the most greedy, selfish way.

This man – this brute, this monster – had done exactly that. He'd treated Vince like his personal pet. A toy that he could play with and use to satisfy his sick, unearthly urges. He had picked Vince because he had felt instantly attracted to the sparkling, bubbly, beautiful young man – like a lot of different people had, including Howard. But he had failed to see Vince's true beauty, his pure innocence, his eternal happiness, his good sense of humour and his strength. His generosity and his kindness. Everything that was Vince Noir. Everything that Howard adored so much more than Vince's good looks.

"I love how I can see all my marks on you, gorgeous," the man continued, "every time I bit you, you were screaming for more, weren't you? Maybe I should kiss you and fuck you back to consciousness. That would be a nice way for you to wake up, yeah? It would be like I never left you in the first place…"

Howard almost panicked when the man pulled his trousers down even further. Oh god, no. He could not let this go on any further. He had to stop it. But how?

"Are you too far gone to give me another blowie, princess?" The man laughed loudly. "Maybe I should just force myself down ya throat, like I did the first time…"

Howard nearly gagged and cried at the same time. Oh he wanted to hurt this son of a bitch so bad. He wanted to punish him for years and years to come, until he died from all the sins that he had committed. Howard didn't believe in executing people, but this guy had clearly tortured Vince in unspeakable ways. If he didn't deserve to die for it, he certainly deserved to spend the rest of his life in atonement.

"I know you said I was too big for you to take in, gorgeous," the creep hummed, "but I don't mind making you gag."

Moving swiftly to change his position, the man pulled off his trousers completely and let them drop to the floor. However, as the fabric connected with the floor, Howard heard a heavy, metallic sound that couldn't have come from the trousers alone.

The gun. The man had brought the gun with him, and now it was hidden in the pocket of the trousers. Just like that, Howard knew exactly how to force the bastard away from Vince. He just needed to move quick, and at the same time, he had to tread carefully and not make himself heard.

Howard snuck closer and closer towards the sofa. He was too scared to even breathe, in case the maniac would sense his presence.

But the man couldn't have paid less attention to his surroundings. He was still petting Vince's hair and touching his face whilst leaning in, and now he began to eye the mouth that was just beneath his own. He wasn't going to kiss him, was he? Howard didn't like it one bit.

The man inhaled deeply and spoke again: "Good thing I didn't kill ya after all, boy. Now I can have my way with you one last time."

He took a stronger grip of Vince's hair, forcing the little man's head back, and he leaned in like a vampire that was going to ravish the neck of his helpless victim. He was clearly going for it now…

"Nooo!" Howard yelled and threw himself across the floor, landing on his stomach with a loud bump and with his face awfully close to the trousers that had been dropped there. "Leave him alone, you monster! Leave him alone, or else…"

Howard saw the man jump in surprise on top of Vince and he grabbed the trousers, pulling out the heavy, loaded gun from one of the front pockets. However, as soon as Howard held the cold object in his hands, he saw his own arms reappearing before his eyes, like flickering light balls that were slowly coming back to life after a power shutdown. Within mere seconds, Howard was fully visible again.

God damn it, Naboo. How could you make an invisibility potion that stops working as soon as you come into contact with objects? This is rubbish!

But Howard didn't have the time to properly curse Naboo's dodgy potion. He looked up, and he realised that the man was staring him right in the eyes. He looked like a mad dog that was ready to bite his head off…

"You!" He exclaimed in an angry, almost offended voice. "Where the hell did you come from, you big berk? How dare you interrupt me like this?"

Howard's bottom lip began to wobble in fear, but this was point of no return for him. Perhaps he didn't really need the invisibility potion now that he had managed to grab the gun…

"Get off him!" Howard cried in a panicky voice and rose to stand, awkwardly. His legs were shaking so much. "Get off him right now, I said!"

"I'm not takin' orders from a fool like you!" The man spat and pulled a disgusted face. "D'ya really think I'm scared of a Northern freak like you?"

The man was now moving on top of Vince, and Howard noticed how carelessly he had placed his knee just below the little man's broken ribs, supporting himself by pressing slightly down. It made him feel oh so angry…

"Get away from him," Howard shouted angrily this time, "can't you see that you're hurting him? What's wrong with you?"

But this only had the man smiling evilly. "Oh, I almost forgot that he's your precious girlfriend. Did you finally stop weepin' over him, you berk? Last time I saw you, you were crying your eyes out like a little poof…"

The man pressed his knee harder against Vince's ribs, and Howard's mouth fell open in outrage.

"Stop doing that right now! You should be ashamed of yourself for treating people like that. You've hurt him more than enough, don't you think?"

Howard was interrupted by an ugly snigger:

"Aw, so now you've got the balls to stand up for your girlfriend? Too bad the little princess is not awake to hear how brave you are." The man laughed mockingly. "Last time I saw you, you were too big a chicken to come to his rescue, isn't that right? I was free to do whatever I wanted to him and I did. I made sure to mark him as my territory, mate. Next time you're in bed with him, he will still taste like me… He's mine now, all because you too much a coward to claim him like I did."

"Shut up!" Howard howled, his heart pounding with rage and despair. "You're insane, do you know that? You can't claim people and act like you own them – you can't rape and beat people just because you don't like rejection. My love for Vince has got nothing to do with claiming him," Howard took in a shaky breath, "I would never beat him if he didn't love me back. But you don't understand that kind of thing, do you? You don't understand love and devotion."

The man giggled like he'd just been told a joke, and he didn't seem to take Howard's rant seriously at all. "You said you love yer girlfriend, yeah? Then how come I was able to fuck his brains out and pound his sweet arse without you trying to stop me? Maybe you're not as devoted a boyfriend as you think you are, you fool."

Howard's watery eyes were blinding him now, and the tears threatened to spill. "You know it wasn't like that…" He said, and his voice was so weak that it almost came out like a whisper. "I would have broken your neck to save him if I could. But your friends were gonna shoot me. There was nothing I could do, and you took advantage of that, didn't you?"

"Oh, so you were ready to kill me if you could, is that what you're sayin'?" The man cocked his head and changed his position on top of Vince one more time. "I bet you've been cursing me ever since I left, am I right? You've been cursin' me for touching your sweet little piece of eye-candy…"

"Of course I've been cursing you!" Howard blurted out angrily. "What you've done to Vince is a horrible crime and you deserve to be punished for it, you piece of scum!"

This earned him the loudest outburst of laughter so far. "Oh yeah? What are you gonna do to me, you large ballbag? Are ya gonna shoot me with me own gun?"

Howard immediately raised the gun in his hands and pointed it at the attacker in front of him. "I might!" He said, his voice trembling again. "You just be careful, sir – who knows what I might do if you don't get away from him right now!"

The man was still laughing violently. "You haven't got the balls to shoot me, mate – you don't know how to kill. You're too big of a coward!"

"I don't mind killing you if I have to," Howard insisted, "you've hurt the person I love and you're still offending him as we speak, so why shouldn't I pull the trigger?"

"Because you're a chicken!" The man taunted him and stuck out his tongue, pulling a degrading face. "You're too scared to take another man's life. You couldn't live with yourself, could you?"

"You're right, I couldn't live with myself if I killed another man," Howard agreed, "but you barely qualify as human, do you? You're more like a monster and I don't mind killing monsters when they deserve it."

"Come on, I know you're not as tough as you think you are." The man giggled again. "You've got it all in yer mouth. All talk, but no action, yeah?"

"How dare you, sir? I'm a man of action!" Howard gestured with the gun. "You haven't seen my moves, but I've got them and I'm gonna use them to protect my friend…"

"Get real, you idiot, you couldn't protect him even if you had two guns and an entire army," the man ran his fingers through Vince's hair, slowly, "you're too scared of me. I can do whatever I like, and you're gonna hate yourself for not being able to stop me."

Howard gaped as the brute bowed down his head and lowered his lips to Vince's neck. He began to suck at the already bruised skin and suddenly, Vince whimpered in his sleep. He was probably either scared or in pain, and this had the man laughing. He was now glaring up at Howard, teasingly. He knew how angry this made him.

"Stop that! Get off of him!" Howard cried, slowly losing his nerve. He felt like panicking; this was how it had all started when Vince was attacked and raped in the first place. And now he was being assaulted again. "Back off or I'm gonna pull the trigger, sir!"

"You wouldn't…" The creep laughed and pulled out his tongue. "I know you wouldn't."

"I'm deadly serious." Howard decided to give him one last warning. "I will do it if you don't stop immediately."

However, as expected, the creep decided to ignore him again. He stretched out his tongue even further and ran it across Vince's sore neck, guiding himself up towards the small man's pointy chin. As he licked his victim's chin hungrily, the man reckoned that he was free to lick his way up to the pale, unresisting lips. Then, when he'd reached the lips, he would part them and stick his tongue so gad damn far down that precious little throat… He was so caught up on his own desires that he failed to hear Howard playing with the trigger.

He only found out when there was a loud bang, and he had to groan and clutch his shoulder in pain.

"Bloody hell!" The man yelped in both surprise and anger as he felt the hot blood streaming down his arm. "You gigantic berk – you shot me! I'm gonna fucking kill you…"

He'd pulled away from Vince, now completely occupied with his own gun wound. But he was still sitting, balancing himself on top of Vince's frail body, and Howard grimaced in disgust. Now that he had the creep distracted, he jumped forward and grabbed his arm, throwing him down onto the floor aggressively. This wasn't enough, obviously. He had wanted to hurt the son of a bitch even worse, he had wanted to shoot him dead instead of just wounding him. But Howard had been too scared that he might accidentally hit Vince instead. The creep had pressed himself closely against his friend, and Howard had never shot a gun before. He knew nothing about precision.

The man yelped again as he hit the floor and landed on his arse next to the sofa.

"You stupid idiot – you're fucking dead, you know that? I'm gonna end your life, you miserable bastard…"

He glanced up at Howard in a most threatening manner, but Howard wasn't scared anymore. He was the one holding the smoking gun in his hands. He had the upper hand, not him.

"You're not gonna kill anyone," Howard grunted as coolly as he could manage, "because I won't give you the chance. You're gonna stay down on the floor until the shamans come. Then you will be arrested by them and taken to court. They will make sure that you get your punishment, you filthy piece of scum."

The man didn't seem to believe him. Even after having taken a bullet to his shoulder, he obviously still didn't consider Howard a serious threat.

"You moron, am I supposed to believe any of your bullshit?" He spat furiously as he tried to raise himself to his knees. "You think you've got me overpowered, don't ya? Well, I'm not scared of ya and I'll tell ya why. You're too much of a coward to actually shoot me dead – you only had the guts to aim for me shoulder! How pathetic is that?"

To Howard's dismay, the bastard started laughing again. He hadn't learned his lesson yet, it seemed.

"I shot you in the shoulder because I decided to give you one last chance to give up and turn yourself in," Howard spoke calmly, "I don't have to kill you, but I am willing to if you don't do as I say."

"Never," the man spat again, directly on the floor, "never will I give up and take orders from a berk like you. I'd rather die than obeying idiots of your sort."

"That can be arranged." Howard muttered, even though he felt slightly alarmed by the anger and defiance in the stranger's crazy eyes.

Then he rose to stand on his feet, swaying a little bit at first. He seemed to have forgotten about his bleeding shoulder. His only focus was to defy Howard's orders.

"You know, if you are to shoot me dead – which I believe you're too scared to actually do," he said in an ugly sneer, "there is one thing I'd like to tell you first."

"No," Howard shook his head and bit his lip anxiously, "I'm not interested in anything you have to say."

"Too bad, because here it comes, you tall freak." The man took a step forward, and Howard automatically took one step backwards. "He enjoyed it, all right? That's why I did it. Your little friend loved it when I fucked him silly. So don't make me the bad guy. Blame that little slut for what happened to him."

Howard immediately began yelling in anger, ordering him to keep his mouth shut. He wouldn't allow anyone to talk about Vince that way. However, the man was still determined to push his buttons for as long as possible.

"It's true," he laughed mockingly, "whenever I bit him, he wriggled in pleasure. When I pulled his hair and fucked his throat, he moaned for more. When I used my knife on him, he let me. Because he knew that he is a dirty slut and that he deserved it. I have no regrets – I would do it all over again."

Howard's eyes filled with tears. This was a truth that he could acknowledge – that freak really would do it all again unless someone stopped him. There was no talking some sense into him.

"You're wrong…" Howard whispered exhaustedly, almost having given up on contradicting the monster standing in front of him. He wasn't listening anyway.

"I'm not wrong," the man laughed confidently and grabbed the belt from his trousers in his hand, "I'm telling you the truth. Since the slut is your boyfriend, I think you deserve to know it. He's the filthiest whore I've ever seen – I fucked him harder than I've ever fucked anyone else before, but he still couldn't get enough. The whole time, he kept screaming with pleasure."

The man was now raising the hand carrying his leather belt. He was still standing dangerously close to Vince on the sofa, and Howard could easily imagine what he intended to use his belt for. Maybe that was the only way of torturing Vince that he'd failed to go through with until now – whipping him.

"He wasn't screaming with pleasure," Howard spoke quietly as he let a tear fall, "I was downstairs and I could hear everything. I know what you did to him. I heard him begging and crying for you to stop. He was screaming in pain for more than an hour, and you just let him suffer. And you have the nerve to tell me that you have no regrets and that you'd do it all again?"

Howard locked eyes with the big man as he grinned and raised his hand holding the belt even higher above his own head. It was like a duel. It was all about making the first move.

"I think you're tough now, don't you?" The man teased Howard, but he still held back instead of making his move.

"He was screaming in pain," was all Howard could say as he shed another tear, "and you didn't stop."

The man decided not to wait any longer – he made a try for it. He brought down his hand in one forceful movement, aiming to whip Vince's body with the belt. But in the end, Howard was quicker. He'd aimed the gun at the man's chest as he pulled the trigger for the second time.

And this time, he didn't just shoot to disarm. He shot to kill.

The big man dropped dead to the floor before the belt even got close to hitting Vince. And soon enough, the floor was covered in blood once again.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

Naboo and Bollo arrived at the flat just two minutes later.

When they came running up the stairs, expecting to find both Howard and Vince in serious trouble, they both gasped in shock to find Howard standing in the middle of the open room, staring into the air like he was frozen in time. Everything around the tall Northerner was covered in dark blood. Including Vince who was still lying prone on the sofa, where they had left him.

"Howard?" Naboo said breathlessly, fearing that Howard was in shock because he had hurt himself. "Howard, what happened? Are you okay? Talk to me, you ballbag!"

Bollo walked up to the jazz maverick and slapped his cheek, hard, when there was no answer. Finally, Howard came to his senses and looked at the small shaman and his familiar.

"Naboo," he whispered in a surprisingly calm voice, "Naboo, I did it. I shot him in the chest. He was going to hurt Vince again. So I killed him."

Naboo just nodded and took a look down at the dead body at Howard's feet. "I figured as much, Howard." He spoke in his usual dead-pan manner. "Bollo, get a bucket of water and a sponge, will you? I'm afraid we've got a lot of cleaning to do."

Bollo grunted. "Precious Vince's got monster's blood in his pretty hair. Vince be furious when he wakes up. Bollo give him a good wash first."

Howard took a deep breath in, feeling less dizzy. He was finally beginning to understand what had just happened. What he had done. He was a murderer. He had actually shot someone dead. Him, Howard Moon – a man of action.

Naboo bent over the sofa to check up on Vince. He was relieved to see that he was in the same state that he had left him in earlier. Naboo had worried that the criminal might have had the chance to hurt him again, but apparently, Howard had been quick enough to prevent it.

"Howard," Naboo said as he approached his Northern friend, "are you all right? You're not hurt, are you?"

"No," Howard breathed and blinked a couple of times, "no, I'm fine. I'm actually fine."

"Glad to hear it." Naboo nodded.

"No, Naboo, I really mean it. I'm fine." Howard chuckled quietly and ran a hand through his thin, fine hair. "I can't believe it, but I'm absolutely fine. I'm a murderer, but I don't regret it one bit. I thought I'd feel guilty or ashamed – that I'd be unable to live with myself and would have to turn myself in to the police. But instead, I feel almost… proud."

Naboo looked into Howard's eyes, reading his thoughts with a knowing smile on his lips.

"Well done, Howard. I'm proud of you too." He lisped approvingly. "You protected Vince just like you said you would. And now you're both out of danger. I guess you can be heroic after all, huh? Who would have thought?"

Howard wanted to laugh, but he just smiled down at the shaman without replying. Naboo was right. The danger was over now.

All there was to do now was waiting for Vince to finally wake up.


	9. Chapter 9

They gave Vince another sponge bath to remove the blood (not his own this time, thank god) from his hair and his pale, tortured skin. Once again, they had to use cold water due to his fever and they had to apply a new amount of anti-scar lotion, otherwise the magic would have stopped working on his bodily scars. Vince moaned and twitched on the sofa when the burning, stinging sensation was enforced on him, but Naboo was positive; he saw the registration of pain as a sign of Vince slowly regaining consciousness. 

Howard was still overwhelmed by what had just happened so he let Naboo and Bollo do most of the work. Once again, it wasn’t that he felt guilty for taking another man’s life, although it still surprised him that he had been able to. (The world was definitely a better place without that bastard). But he just couldn’t believe that the criminal had been standing there in front of him. That they had been face to face. That he had once again been able to assault Vince and touch him. It was disgusting. It had gone too far. Howard wished to god that he had been able to stop the maniac a lot sooner. 

He truly believed that Vince was going to pull through now and get better, day by day. But even when he’d recovered, there would be some serious scars. Especially of the emotional kind. Vince deserved so much better than having to deal with all that. 

The shamans came by to collect the dead body of Vince’s attacker. Howard was once again congratulated for having put an end to that bastard’s life; he was told that he had been both brave and right in his actions. Howard didn’t really want anyone to pad his back and praise him for doing something that had been his mere obligation – protecting Vince was his duty, his job. If he had failed to do that once again, he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself. But still, he was glad to know that no one was accusing him of having acted too rashly. After all, he had given that creep a chance to surrender, hadn’t he? 

No questions were asked about how the shamans intended to dispose of the dead body. Howard didn’t really care. But the head shaman, Dennis, was kind enough to let him know that the other two criminals were about to receive their punishment: They were going to be transported to a prison on a faraway planet – even further away than the planet Naboo was originally from. They would have to stay there and work for at least 20 years, digging holes in the ground along with 500 other prisoners. Howard felt like they deserved it. Hopefully, they would never be given the chance to return to Earth. Not even after having done their time. 

Howard thanked Naboo, Bollo, Taboo and all the other shamans again for all their help. He didn’t like thinking about it, but there was a good chance that Vince wouldn’t have survived without their magic. It had been such a close call… 

And now – now Howard found himself sitting in a chair, watching Vince sleep. Naboo had been tending to him and checking up on his wounds all day, and Bollo had even been reading a story and playing music to him. Gary Numan. 

“Vince might hear.” Bollo had told Howard when the jazz maverick looked at the ape in disbelief. “Bollo wants to make Vince happy.”

Howard nodded. He actually felt really touched by these words. “Thank you, Bollo. I’m sure Vince knows how much you’ve been doing to help.”

Bollo looked proud for a moment. Then he turned away from Vince on the sofa, looking Howard straight in the eyes. 

“Harold not an idiot.” He groaned and laid a big monkey hand on Howard’s shoulder. “Harold good to Vince. Vince lucky to have Harold.” 

Howard couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Never before had Bollo given him credit for anything he’d done. He almost didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you, Bollo.” Howard feared that he was beginning to well up again. “I’m also lucky to have him.” 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

When Naboo and Bollo went to sleep that night, Vince was carried back to his and Howard’s bedroom. Howard wanted him to sleep in his own bed so that Howard could be close to him and keep an eye on him during the night. He’d been given some more painkillers, so Howard hoped he wouldn’t be able to feel a thing.

However, he turned out to be wrong. If Howard was hoping for a quiet night, he was about to be disappointed. 

He had kissed Vince’s forehead before moving over to lie in his own bed. He had also run a hand through the black hair, admiring how soft and smooth it still was even though Bollo hadn’t been using any conditioner when he gave the electro boy a wash. 

“Goodnight Vince,” Howard whispered lovingly, “what happened today, it was a good thing. You’re safe now, I promise. Please wake up soon, okay? I’m beginning to miss you a lot.”

As Howard pulled away from him, he failed to notice Vince’s sudden stirring. The young man had clenched his fists slightly, letting his fingers dig into the sheets. His eyelids had even been close to fluttering open for a brief second. His senses were slowly coming back to life.

Howard had no idea how soon he would be seeing his friend wake up again. 

He had turned off the lights and climbed under the covers in his own bed. That’s when he heard Vince making his first noise. At first, it sounded like a series of small, exhausted sighs. But then it grew louder. It sounded like he was moaning all of a sudden. But not in the same way as earlier – this sounded so much more intense. It almost sounded like a conscious moaning. 

“Vince?” 

Howard held his breath as he listened. No response, although the moaning didn’t stop. He sat up in his bed and switched the lights back on. That was when he saw it – he looked over at Vince in the opposite bed when, suddenly, Vince made a clear attempt to turn himself over on the mattress. The sudden movement must have been really bad for his broken ribs because immediately after this, Vince began to whimper almost desperately. It sounded like a child crying in the middle of a horrible nightmare, and it left Howard in shock.

“Vince!” He exclaimed as he almost jumped out of bed. Maybe his friend could actually hear him now. “Vince, what is it? Can you hear me? Vince!” 

As he reached the bed, Vince began to practically shake his head, from one side to another. Repeatedly. He let out a small wail, indicating a considerable pain of some sort. If only Howard knew what that pain was. 

“N-no…”

It sounded like he was trying to speak. Howard’s eyes grew bigger in surprise. And then, Vince cried out again like an injured animal. 

“Vince,” Howard breathed in fear, “what’s wrong? Where does it hurt? Can you hear me?” 

He grabbed his friend’s hand, not even stopping to think if this was clever or not. As soon as he let his fingers entwine with Vince’s, Vince made a sudden attempt to draw his hand back. But when he found that his hand was stuck, he began to panic.

“No – no… L-let go. Please let me go…” Vince sobbed loudly, wriggling in the bed. His eyes were still closed, but his face was screwed up in pain. There might even have been tears, but due to the lack of light in the room, Howard couldn’t tell. “Let me go – please, I can’t take it anymore…”

That was when Howard realised that Vince wasn’t conscious enough to recognise who was sitting by his bedside, holding his hand. Vince thought that Howard was his attacker. Howard immediately let go of his hand with a small gasp and switched the lights on immediately. 

“Vince, I’m so sorry,” he blurted out and fell down to kneel next to the bed, “I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s me, Howard. Vince, you’re safe. You have nothing to fear, do you hear me?”

He almost reached out for his friend’s hand again, but he had to stop himself in the middle of the action. Vince was still wriggling about, whimpering with his eyes closed. He looked absolutely terrified. Scared to see – scared to find out where he was and what was happening at this point. 

Howard waited for his friend’s reply, but there wasn’t any. Vince just kept on producing his scared, unhappy noises as though he was close to crying. Howard could now see the paleness of Vince’s skin and the sweat on his forehead. This wasn’t good. 

“Vince, talk to me,” Howard urged him desperately, “are you awake? Can you hear me? Vince, please, it’s me. It’s Howard. Your Howard.”

But the mentioning of Howard’s name had the opposite effect of what the Northerner had expected; instead of calming down and sighing with relief, Vince’s whimpering practically grew louder and even more intense. And finally, Howard could tell that the tears were escaping the tightly closed eyes that were still refusing to look up at him. Vince was crying his eyes out now. 

“Vince!” Howard exclaimed in shock. “What’s wrong? Does it hurt? Tell me what to do – I can help you. Please, please talk to me. It’s me, Howard…” 

Vince let out a big sob and tried to turn his head away from the voice near to him. His entire body was shaking now, but Howard didn’t know if it had anything to do with the fever. He tossed and turned on the bed dangerously and, by pure instinct, Howard grabbed Vince’s shoulders, forcing him to keep still so that he couldn’t hurt himself. 

“Vince, please try not to move. Just calm down, little man. Everything is all right, I promise you. You’re okay. You’re gonna be fine. No one can harm you, do you understand? It’s me, Howard, and I love you and I’m going to look after you…”

Howard couldn’t finish his sentence. Vince was crying so loudly now that his last words couldn’t be heard at all. The young man was practically screaming. Once again, he sounded like in injured animal, being driven out of his mind. The thought of Vince suffering like this nearly had Howard crying as well. But then, finally, Vince managed to form one word that could just barely be heard… 

“Howard…”

This had Howard pausing and drawing back for a moment. Oh thank God! Did Vince finally recognise him? Was Vince coming back to his senses? 

“Yes, it’s me!” Howard burst out, still close to tears. “Vince, I’m here. I’m here, you’re not alone. It’s me, Howard!” 

“Howard… Howard…” Vince managed to repeat the name of his love quietly. His voice sounded horse and raspy. “Howard…”

But then, all of a sudden, the little man let out a new series of wild screams and cries, and he began to shake his head almost violently, still not looking. Howard was so shocked that he didn’t even dare to touch Vince this time. He felt frozen – nailed to the floor. Why was Vince still screaming and crying? 

“Howard! Howard!” Vince began to pronounce his name in a loud, desperate voice that couldn’t be recognised. “Howard! Howard, Howard, Howard… Oh God, Howard.” 

Howard’s mouth fell open in shock. Had Vince gone crazy? Was he conscious of what he was saying or was he in the middle of a dream? 

“Vince, I’m right here!” He said desperately and grabbed both Vince’s wrists, forcing him to keep still. “I’m here. It’s me, Howard. I’m not leaving you, okay? Please tell me what’s wrong. Are you in pain?” 

“Howard!” Vince was beginning to sound like a broken record. When he felt that he was being held and couldn’t move, Vince wriggled about even worse and tried to kick his legs even though he was much too weak. “Howard… Please stop. I want – I want Howard. Leave me alone. I want Howard back…” 

Howard didn’t understand a word. He now felt truly concerned about Vince’s mental condition. 

“I’m right here. Vince, sweetheart, listen to me. I’m Howard and I’m right here. It’s okay…”

“No – no, no, no. I want Howard. Give me my Howard back. Howard – Howaaard!” Vince kept on sobbing and screaming, crying Howard’s name out loud. “Howard, come back to me… Come back.”

This was truly breaking Howard’s heart in half. He almost couldn’t stand hearing his friend’s pleading. Vince didn’t sound like himself. In fact, he didn’t sound sane at all. Did he feel like Howard had left him? Did he blame Howard for not coming to rescue him when he was being attacked? In that case, it had to mean that Vince remembered everything…

“Vince, I’m sorry,” Howard broke down in tears pathetically, “I’m sorry, I let you down. Please forgive me. I’m here now and I’m not leaving you ever again…”

That very same instant, the door to the bedroom was almost kicked open. Just as Howard cast a look over his shoulder, Naboo and Bollo appeared in the door.

“What’s going on in here?” Naboo lisped, his voice raised and intensified beyond recognition. “Howard, you ballbag, did you wake up Vince? Why is he screaming?”

Howard struggled to find the words to say, but he couldn’t. He had broken down completely, and he surrendered to his tears. He kept on crying and Vince kept on screaming and calling his name, both of them overwhelmed with shared desperation and pain. 

“Precious Vince gone mad. Harold sad…” Bollo said to Naboo as though the shaman couldn’t have guessed what was happening himself. 

“Vince isn’t mad, he’s delirious!” Naboo then spoke and moved towards the bed in haste. “Howard, stop crying. For God sakes, pull yourself together and give me some space.” 

Howard moved back slightly, allowing Naboo to bend over Vince in the bed. 

“Vince? Vince, can you hear me?” Naboo looked down at the electro boy in the bed with less patience than Howard had shown. “Vince, it’s Naboo. Stop screaming. Just talk to me.”

But it didn’t work. Vince just kept on moaning and crying, repeating Howard’s name helplessly. 

“Howard! Howard, Howard – I want Howard!” 

Naboo looked almost irritated. “He’s not awake yet, not really,” he explained to Howard when the jazz maverick looked at him in confusion and sorrow, “don’t worry, Howard, he hasn’t lost his mind, but I think the fever’s affecting his brain a little bit. We need to make him stop crying, though. He’s obviously scared of something and it’s dangerous for him to panic.” 

Howard nodded and sniffled a couple of times. He knew exactly why Vince was scared. He thought that Howard had left him. Howard hadn’t come to his rescue and now he thought that he was left to himself in this cruel world…

“Bollo, get me a glass of water!” Naboo ordered, and his familiar quickly did what he was told. “Vince, last chance to wake up. I can’t understand what you’re trying to say when you’re making all this noise.”

Vince didn’t react to anything Naboo said. There was no stopping the young man from weeping and squirming in the bed, and so, when Bollo returned with the glass of water, the shaman decided how to make use of it. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Vince stopped screaming the instant that the water connected with his face. 

Finally, he was awoken from his deep slumber that had left him numb for so long, but at the same time, had protected him from many unpleasant sensations and realisations. But now it was all about to return to him – and this time, he would be able to feel everything. 

By instinct, Vince gasped and tried to sit up in the bed, but this sudden movement earned him a terrible series of shooting pains through his ribcage. He cringed and whined without being able to help it, and two pairs of hands immediately pushed him back down in the mattress, forcing him to keep still. Not recognising the hands to belong to Naboo and Howard, Vince panicked again and tried to avoid their every attempt to touch him. He whimpered in fear and decided to keep his eyes closed, not wanting to see the familiar face of his attacker hovering above him in triumph. 

Naboo immediately noted Vince’s scared reaction, and he knew that Vince still wasn’t brought all the way back to reality. 

“Vince,” the shaman tried to speak softly, “don’t hide from us. It’s okay. It’s Naboo and Howard. You’re safe and we’re only trying to help you…”

But as soon as Howard’s name was mentioned, Vince seemed to relapse and fall back into a reaction of distress and intense grief. 

“Howard…” Vince wasn’t screaming his friend’s name this time, but his raspy voice still revealed a great deal of confusion and sadness. “Howard… Oh god, Howard.”

There it was again. “Oh god, Howard.” Vince’s tone as sad and heavy as though the world had just ended. Howard looked up, his face screwed up in an eager attempt to understand what Vince was trying to express. 

“I’m here, Vince.” Howard couldn’t stop himself. He knew that he had to do something. It sounded like Vince was calling for him, and he refused to hide. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m not going to leave. I promise.”

“Open your eyes, Vince.” Naboo added calmly. “Come on, have a look at us. You’ll see that we’re telling the truth. We just want to make sure that you’re okay.” 

However, Naboo’s words only had Vince shaking his head stubbornly, refusing to do as he was told. 

“N-no…” His voice trembled horribly, and Howard suspected that he was about to start sobbing again. “No, leave me alone.”

“Vince, for crying out loud,” Naboo took in a deep breath, “don’t you recognise our voices? Come on, stop making us worried about your sanity. Open your eyes and look at me.”

“No,” Vince snivelled, still sickly pale, “no, I don’t want to. Don’t make me…”

“I’m not gonna make you do anything, don’t worry.” Naboo soothed him. Then: “Vince, are you crying? What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

Vince let out a few choked sobs and mumbled something that couldn’t be understood. 

“Vince, please. Why are you crying?” Naboo tried again. “There’s no reason for –“ 

“Howard is dead.” Vince spoke just as everyone expected him to say nothing and keep on moaning instead. His body shook visibly and his face was screwed up in pain again. “Howard is dead.” He then repeated.

“What?” Howard heard himself gasping in shock. “No, I’m not! Vince, I’m right here. Can’t you hear it’s my voice?”

Naboo held up a hand in front of Howard’s face, telling him to keep quiet. 

“Vince, why would you think that Howard is dead?” Naboo asked in a calm voice as though he was genuinely curious about the answer. “Talk to me, please. Why would Howard be dead?”

Vince suddenly raised his voice at this, almost defensively. “I know he is!” He exclaimed in a grief-stricken voice. “I know it. Don’t try and lie to me…”

“I’m not lying to you.” Naboo answered him patiently. “Why do you think that Howard is dead?” 

“I heard them… I heard them talking… They wanted to kill him.” Vince snivelled again, sounding exhausted. “And I heard Howard yelling. And I – I heard the gun shot. They shot him. Howard is dead.” 

Howard frowned in confusion and looked at Naboo as though he expected to find the answers from him. 

“What gun shot?” Howard quizzed him urgently. “They never actually shot at me. They didn’t even try, although they said they would…”

“He’s referring to another episode.” Naboo cut him off without waiting for Howard to finish. “Vince doesn’t know it, but he’s referring to the gun shot you fired to kill his attacker today. He wasn’t conscious at the time, so he doesn’t know what really happened. He’s also lost his sense of time, it seems. Anyway, he must have heard the gun go off and now he believes that the gun was fired to kill you. That’s why he’s so out of it.”

Naboo was talking as though Vince wasn’t there to hear him. But the young man had returned to crying into his pillow, so the shaman figured that he wasn’t paying attention to what was said around him anyway. 

Howard’s jaw dropped – he felt absolutely horrible. Vince actually believed that he was dead – that he had been killed by the attackers. Perhaps that was why Vince had resisted waking up for so long. He thought he had lost Howard forever and he didn’t want to wake up to that kind of pain. Subconsciously, he had tried to stay numb and unaware for as long as possible. And that was enough to convince Howard that the Vince he knew and loved was still there. That he hadn’t lost his mind or suffered brain damage. Vince had been there all along, hiding from reality – but now he had come back to them. 

“Vince! Oh God, Vince, I’m so sorry.” Howard ran his hands through his own fine hair, pulling it slightly from the distress that he was feeling. “I’m not dead – I swear to you, I’m just fine. Please trust me – you’ve got nothing to fear!” 

But still, Vince wouldn’t look up from his pillow and he wouldn’t stop grieving loudly. 

“I want Howard,” he whined deliriously, “they took him away from me. Howard is dead, Howard is dead –“ 

“No I’m not!” Howard spat and reached out for his friend’s hands in wild desperately. “Vince, I’m right here.” Howard squeezed both his hands deliberately. “It’s okay, nothing’s happened to me. Please look at me…”

Vince tossed around as though he was trying to free himself. “No, no – leave me alone. Get away from me…” 

“Howard, it’s the fever,” Naboo butted in as he saw the pain in Howard’s eyes when he was mistaken for the criminal, “he doesn’t know what’s happening. Maybe you should back off for a bit.”

But Howard wasn’t having any of it. He wanted Vince’s sorrow to end, one way or another, and that was all that mattered to him at this point. 

“Vince, you’re safe – we both are! Everything’s all right – I’m all right!” Howard began to shake Vince’s shoulders carefully, very aware of the stab wounds that still needed to heal. “Look at me. Come on, please look at me. I promise you it’s going to be just fine – just open your eyes and you’ll see. It’s me, Howard.”

Whether it was the motions from being shaken or the elements of persuasion in Howard’s words that finally had Vince following the order, Naboo couldn’t tell. But slowly and insecurely, like Bambi on ice, Vince’s crying stopped and he fell completely silent. And then, little by little, he gathered the awareness and the courage to open his eyes and take a look at his surroundings. 

Everything was blurry. Hazy. Vince instantly had trouble recognising and remembering the figure of a man hovering above him. His instincts immediately told him to back away and protect himself because anything might happen – but instead of doing that, he took in a raspy breath and blinked a couple of times, hoping that this might improve his vision. 

He didn’t feel like backing away from the man above him at all. In fact, he was hoping to hear the man’s voice again. 

Howard nearly gasped when Vince’s eyes opened and he was looking back at him again. Focusing, though clearly confused. Vince was here again – he had come back to him and now he was returning Howard’s stare. The nightmare had ended, and Vince’s teary, yet alive blue eyes were the most beautiful sight ever.

“Vince,” Howard spoke softly when his friend still seemed to be in a state of cluelessness, “it’s me. It’s Howard. You see? I’m all right. Everything’s fine. Don’t be scared anymore, little man.”

Vince blinked again, still not understanding completely. He breathed in and out a couple of times as though he’d been out of breathe and hungered for oxygen. The swelling of his neck was probably still hurting him because the new intakes of breath had the small man pulling a troubled face.

“H-Howard?” Vince’s chest rose and fell visibly. His voice sounded so unusually throaty and thick with fatigue. 

Howard wanted to sigh and laugh, but he settled for a nervous smile. “Yes, it’s me.” Not being able to help himself, he carefully moved his hand to rest on top of Vince’s head. “See? I’m right here. I never left.”

Vince’s eyes were spilling with tears again, and Howard realised that they were tears of understanding. At last, Vince knew where he was and was able to recognise Howard, alive and well – not dead. Just when he feared that the world might have ended, everything was good again.

“Howard…” Vince’s voice was more high-pitched than throaty this time. It sounded like his voice was threatening to fail him. “Howard! Oh God, Howard!” 

There it was again. “Oh God, Howard.”

Before Howard had the chance to stop him, Vince launched himself forward and encircled his arms around Howard’s body, dying to be close to him again. But even with Howard hugging him back, protectively, this little upwards jump had Vince’s ribs and abdomen protesting in intense pain, and the young man had to let out a small scream of surprise. 

“Oh, Christ!” Vince choked out and practically collapsed against Howard. He wasn’t prepared for this kind of sensation at all.

“Vince!” Howard panicked and grabbed around his friend’s shoulders, keeping him from falling anywhere. "Are you okay? Talk to me.” 

Vince wanted to describe the pain between his ribs, but the room was spinning before his eyes and it was suddenly difficult to even breathe. The only sound that escaped his lips was a wounded hiss. 

“Howard, lay him down on the mattress again!” Naboo commanded all of a sudden. He and Bollo had stepped back so that Howard and Vince could have a private moment, but now the shaman found it necessary to interfere. “He’s not supposed to move or sit up in the bed, you idiots!”

Howard bit his lip and immediately, he lowered Vince down unto the mattress again, as gently as he possibly could. Vince’s body had gone all stiff because of the stinging sensations from his wounds, and even though he wanted to stay close to Howard, there was no way that he could struggle. Just keeping himself from screaming again was something that demanded all his strength and concentration. 

Naboo came forward when Vince had been lain down on his back, panting and wheezing. 

“Naboo… Oh god, it hurts.” The sweat was now running down Vince’s forehead and he looked absolutely ill. “What… What happened to me?”

Howard frowned in concern, but Naboo remained calm and shushed the bedridden man in front of him.

“You need to keep still, Vince, do you understand? I can’t have you moving around and tearing your wounds open like that. It’s bad for you.” 

Vince looked up at the shaman whose face was expressionless as ever. “Tearing my what open?” He murmured bewildered and winced in pain once again. “W-what are you talking about?”

But then Vince looked down at himself, finally seeing what everybody else was already looking at. The deep stab wound between his ribs had been torn open, and now the blood was slowly seeping through his t-shirt, staining the bed as well. 

Vince grew even paler, if possible. Howard knew that this meant that Vince finally remembered why he was here. What had been done to him. The beats, the kicking – all the cuts made by the knife. Everything. Howard wished that he could have spared him and protected him from remembering his sufferings, but it was too late.

Vince saw his own blood and fainted exhaustedly.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Naboo and Bollo had just finished changing Vince’s bloody bandages when the young man awoke the second time. Nothing dangerous had happened when the wounds had started bleeding again, but still, they had all been feeling slightly nervous to see how the pain had affected Vince. Howard had insisted on staying by his bedside, even when Naboo and Bollo went back to bed. They told him that Vince probably just needed to sleep it off, but Howard couldn’t fall asleep anyway. 

He’d stayed by the bedside, holding Vince’s hand between his own. And so, when the electro boy came to his senses, Howard noticed immediately.

“Vince! Oh thank god, I thought you were gonna stay asleep.” Howard squeezed his hand reassuringly. “How are you feeling? Does your wound still hurt?”

Vince – having been out for ten or twenty minutes – blinked tiredly and let out a small groan of exhaustion. 

“Howard? Uh… I-I don’t know.” Vince made a weak attempt to clear his throat. “I’m not entirely sure I can feel my body.”

Howard wanted to panic – he didn’t know if this was a good or bad thing.

“Yeah,” he said, still squeezing Vince’s hand, “I’m afraid that would be the work of the pain killers. You just need to get used to them.” 

“Pain killers?” Vince repeated as though he didn’t understand. “Well, how much pain medication did I need? Because I can feel the room spinning…” 

Howard hesitated slightly. “It’s a pretty big dose.” He admitted. “But Naboo convinced me that it’s for the best. That you’re gonna need it. Don’t worry, I’m sure he knows what he’s talking about.”

However, Vince didn’t look comforted at all. 

“So, if I need pain medication strong enough to numb me out,” he began doubtfully, “it must mean that I was hurt pretty bad. Howard?”

Howard couldn’t look at him. He barely knew what to say. He didn’t want to answer any questions; it was too heart-breaking. He didn’t want to remember any of it. He didn’t want to remember how tortured Vince had looked that awful moment when he had landed at the bottom of the stairs, not moving and not breathing… Technically dead. Vince had died on him, even if it was briefly.

“Howard?” Vince asked again, sensing the other man’s discomfort. “Howard, what’s wrong? W-was it really that bad?”

Howard took in a deep breath, refusing to let himself get worked up again. “What do you remember, Vince?” He asked, choosing the easy way out. “Don’t you remember anything that happened to you?”

This was something that had Vince growing paler again, and his eyes widened in horror.

“I don’t… I mean… You don’t want to know what I remember, Howard.” He said, weakly. He obviously didn’t fancy talking about it either. 

And yet, Vince had to know. There was only one thing that he didn’t remember. He knew that he had been raped and that Howard knew this as well. And that he’d been stabbed. And kicked and beaten up. He remembered being choked gruesomely and losing consciousness. And from that moment on, he had no idea what the hell had happened. He knew that he had heard a gunshot at some point, but Howard was obviously not wounded. Who was shot? How long had he been out for? And why hadn’t he been taken to a hospital? Had Naboo been able to treat him all alone? 

A painful silence had occurred. Vince knew that Howard was desperate to avoid the subject, but he just couldn’t help himself.

“Howard, I’m sorry,” he whispered, “but I really need to know what hap –“

“You died, Vince.” Howard cut him off, trying to hold back a sob. “I lost you, okay? Y-you were dead…”

And that was all it took for Howard to break down in front of him. The jazz maverick fell to his knees, crying. Howard had never before cried like this, not in front of Vince anyway, and as he began to feel slightly embarrassed, he hid his face in the bed sheets, unable to stop the sobs. 

Vince was too shocked to do anything at that point. It wasn’t just that he felt tired and sick, but he couldn’t think of a single thing to say. How was he supposed to calm Howard down? How was he supposed to deal with what he had just learned? How could it all be true? How could he have died and been brought back to life without knowing it? Maybe Howard was mistaken…

“Howard…” Vince tried, feeling utterly uncomfortable with the situation. “Howard, it’s okay…”

“No it’s not!” Howard whined loudly. “Vince, he killed you! I held your dead body in my arms – h-he strangled you and h-he let you lose too much b-blood… You weren’t breathing, you were d-dead…” 

Howard’s body shook and he had to grasp Vince’s pale arm for support. The Northerner felt so burdened, so desperate and fearful – he had to touch Vince’s skin to remind himself that his friend was alive. If only his skin had felt warmer and less feverish… 

“H-howard, you need to calm down…” Vince bit his lip and winced. He didn’t want to say anything, but Howard had grasped the arm that had suffered a big, open wound. Vince tried to breathe through the stinging sensation. “Howard, please… Everything’s okay, you don’t have to…”

“It’s not okay!” Howard wailed unhappily, spilling fresh tears unto the bed sheets. “I thought – I thought I’d never see you again. I thought that you were gone for good…”

“But I’m not,” Vince reminded him, trying his best to sound optimistic even though this conversation was slowly making him feel panicky, “Howard, I’ve obviously been brought back somehow, so you don’t have to do this.”

“I’m sorry!” Was all Howard choked out this time. “I’m sorry, Vince. Forgive me. I’m so, so sorry…”

“Howard, don’t… It wasn’t your fault.” Vince whispered exhaustedly.

“Yes it was! Vince, I was the one who let them in! If it hadn’t been for me, this would never have happened. I let you down, little man – I’m the one to blame.”

“Howard, that’s… bullshit.” Vince spoke slowly. “How could you have known… what their intentions were? None of this is… your fault…”

“How can you say that?” Howard blurted out. “Vince, you should hate me right now! You should blame me and hate me as much as I hate myself…”

“I don’t hate you, Howard… I love you.”

Howard finally looked up. Through teary, red eyes he glanced down at Vince, still pale and drained, but obviously putting on an effort to smile at him. Howard couldn’t believe it. Vince had just been told that he had died and that Howard had failed him, and yet, here he was, telling him that he loved him. 

“Vince, how can you even say that?” Howard quizzed him bewilderedly. “After everything I put you through…”

“Howard for god sake… You weren’t the one who attacked me. But you were the one who gave me enough strength to… to pull through.” Vince’s smile disappeared and it looked as though he was in pain again. “I love you. I always have.” 

Howard immediately went back to holding his hand and it looked as though he was about to have a second break-down when, luckily, Vince managed to stop him this time.

“No, Howard, please,” he begged him sincerely, “no more crying. I can’t take it. Please, just tell me what happened. Please, Howard? I need to know…”

Howard swallowed loudly, but fell completely silent for a moment. Then he simply nodded and breathed out, slightly shakily. He realised that it wasn’t fair to Vince if he continued to mourn all of his anxiety to him. Vince had only just woken up, clearly feeling confused and, probably, still feeling a great deal of discomfort. Howard still had to stay strong for him. And if the full story was what Vince wanted at this point, that was what Howard was going to give him.

There was nothing that he could deny him. Not ever. 

“All right, Vince.” Howard sniffed and dried his eyes. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know. But please bear with me. It’s not going to be easy for me…”

Vince looked up at Howard with eyes full of sympathy and understanding. He wanted to reach out and touch Howard’s face, maybe stroke his cheek, but he just didn’t have the strength. 

“Thanks Howard.” He whispered gratefully.

In one swift movement, Howard bowed his head down and planted a soft kiss on Vince’s forehead, just for the sake of offering him some sort of affectionate gesture. He knew that that was all Vince felt ready for. A kiss on the lips would be way too soon… 

The two friends continued to hold hands as Howard began telling the story. He started from the very moment that the two of them had been separated and Vince had been dragged upstairs. Howard told him how he was held gunpoint down on the floor, not being allowed to move at all. He told him how he could hear Vince screaming the whole time – and how awful he felt for not being able to make it stop.

“I remember…” Vince whispered all of a sudden. “But Howard… I didn’t shout your name because I expected you to put your own life in danger and come for me… That would’ve been stupid – thank God you stayed put…”

“Vince, please,” Howard sighed and hid his face in his hands, “I feel so ashamed of myself for not doing more. I didn’t even try…”

“Good,” Vince cut him off, “they would have killed you on the spot. And if you had died because of me… I just couldn’t live with that.”

“But I wanted to!” Howard exclaimed fiercely. “Vince, if I had been given the chance, I would have happily swapped places with you. I’d rather that they had hurt me instead. I-I couldn’t bear the thought of you being all alone up there… And the things that h-he did to you… I could only guess what was going on because of the way you were screaming…”

Howard was getting himself worked up again – and Vince, too.

“Howard, let’s not go there.” Vince interrupted him quietly. He didn’t want to remember the fear. He didn’t want to remember all those times when he had felt the man’s knife go in. He didn’t want to remember the sensation of spilling his own blood all over the floor… And – oh god! – when the man had climbed on top of him and pulled his pants down… Or when he had pulled Vince’s hair painfully and grabbed his face, forcing his mouth down to his naked pelvis. Vince remembered gagging and feeling like he was going to choke. It had went on for so long and the man had just laughed at his struggles… 

Howard saw the look on Vince’s face and he knew what the younger man was thinking about. What he was remembering. 

“Too much?” Howard whispered carefully, scared to push him too far. 

But Vince just shook his head. “Like I said, let’s not go there.” He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “But one thing, Howard… I know that I was probably screaming most of the time, but… At some point, I could have sworn that I heard you scream as well. That’s why I got so scared. I thought they were trying to kill you…”

Howard frowned for a moment. Then he knew what Vince was talking about. “Oh god,” he breathed, “Vince, no – that’s not why I was screaming. I was trying to communicate to you – I meant to tell you that I was fine and that I hadn’t left. But then the two guys started kicking me again, so all I could do was scream for them to get off me.” 

Vince swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded. “I thought… I thought they were killing you, so… So I began struggling again. I tried to fight that man off me, but… He was obviously stronger and he got really pissed with me. That’s when he decided to strangle me, I think…”

Vince hadn’t meant to sound so pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. It had probably been the scariest moment of his entire life. That was the moment when he actually gave up on the idea of ever seeing Howard again… He had thought that, probably, they were both being murdered at that point. 

“Vince, I’m so sorry,” Howard panicked, “are you saying that he strangled you because of me? Oh my God, if I had known, I would never have…”

“Howard, no – stop…” Vince tried his best to grin at him, but he probably ended up looking bitter instead. “He was never going to let me off, anyway. It wasn’t your fault… He was already set on the idea of… I don’t know, killing me, I guess.” 

Howard grabbed Vince’s hand even tighter and kissed it desperately. He apologised again, even if Vince didn’t want to hear it. But ‘sorry’ was the only word that he could think of.

It took several minutes for both of them to move on to the rest of the story. Howard needed to breathe in and out a few times before he felt ready.

He told Vince that the man had thrown his lifeless body down the stairs. He told him that he screamed like crazy when he recognised the body to be Vince’s; all covered in blood, his clothes half ripped off. Looking stone cold dead. Howard also told him about the panic that set in as soon as the criminals left the shop; he told him about Naboo and Bollo’s efforts to get his heart started again. 

“That’s why all your ribs are broken now.” Howard explained darkly. “Bollo pretty much had to punch you back to life.”

He then told Vince everything about the shamans arriving, helping Naboo with the right treatment. He talked about the punctured lung and Vince’s need of a blood transfusion. He talked about Taboo, the great shaman doctor. He talked about all of the lotions and potions, all the magic that was used to help stabilising Vince. Howard went on and on about the length of Vince’s treatment, how long it took, how many shamans it required… He also mentioned that Naboo had been forced to drugging Howard a couple of times, mainly because he was getting in the way or wouldn’t stop worrying. 

Howard had been a wreck the whole time. That was the truth. 

“Bollo was really good actually,” Howard added after a brief pause of silence, “he stayed calm and did everything Naboo told him to. He even took care of the kitchen. I mean, you know… The floor was covered in blood and such… I-I couldn’t have dealt with it myself.”

Vince had stopped commenting on all the things he learned. He would still nod every now and then when Howard told him something overwhelming, but that was all.

Howard went on to tell Vince about the dislocated shoulder – and how Vince had woken up briefly, screaming when they had popped it back in. Vince didn’t even remember. Howard then talked about the shaman lotion that had been used on Vince’s body to make the scars go away, slowly. That was why Vince was feeling so sick, even now. The lotion had made him delirious and feverish, but it had still been for the best. Howard was relieved beyond words when Vince nodded and agreed with him instead of blaming him for making this decision without his consent. If anything, Vince only seemed thankful. 

“You were slowly getting better, hour by hour,” Howard told him, “but then… Something else happened.” 

Howard told Vince how the shamans had captured two of the criminals, but how the last one had escaped and come back to the flat. He didn’t go into detail about what the creeper had said about Vince enjoying getting raped, but he made it clear that the man had returned with bad intentions. And that it had made Howard so angry that… that…

“I shot him dead, Vince.” Howard’s voice was shaking all of a sudden. “That was the gunshot that you heard in your sleep. It was me shooting him, not the other way around. The shamans got rid of his body and took the two other criminals to some prison on a distant planet where they will get their punishment as well. Trust me, Vince, you won’t ever see them again. They won’t be able to hurt anyone else ever again.” 

Vince seemed genuinely shocked to hear about this particular episode. At first, there wasn’t even any sign of relief to be found in his eyes, and that had Howard wincing for a moment.

“Y-you… shot him? You actually killed him, Howard?” Was all Vince whispered in a raspy voice. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” Howard looked down, avoiding his friend’s confused gaze. “I’m no better than him. Who am I to decide his punishment and take another man’s life? But, Vince, I don’t regret it. It was the right thing to do and I’m not at all sorry for ending his life. If he had had the chance – if I hadn’t been there – he would have hurt you again without even thinking twice about it. And I didn’t want to give him that chance…”

“Howard…” Vince stopped him and finally, he gathered the strength to reach out and touch the maverick’s shoulder. “Howard, calm down. How could I ever judge you or blame you for protecting me? How could anyone say that you’re no better than him? Your intentions… were always pure and good. His were… evil.”

Howard’s mouth had gone dry for a moment, but now he was licking his lips and looking Vince in the eyes again. 

“So – you don’t think that what I did was wrong?” He asked nervously. 

“No.” Vince smiled calmly. “Howard, I don’t think you’re a murderer either. You are… You are a hero. My hero. Thank you for looking out for me… I owe you so much…”

“What? No, Vince, don’t be ridiculous.” Howard snorted at the idea. “Protecting you was my duty. Something that I should have been doing all along. How could I not? You mean the world to me, little man. I love you, I hope you know. And if I lost you, I wouldn’t know what to do with my life…”

Howard was stroking Vince’s cheek lovingly, enjoying their heart-to-heart conversation. But then he noticed that Vince was shaking more violently now. He looked downright ill – almost worse than when he had woken up the first time. 

“Vince?” He asked gently when he realised that the younger man had stopped talking. “I’m sorry, is this too much for you? We can stop now, if you prefer. We don’t have to talk about it anymore…”

Vince shivered and seemed to try to hide under the covers. “It’s okay, Howard. It’s not because of what you said… I just – I don’t feel so good…” The electro boy couldn’t even fake a smile anymore. “I feel kind of sick.”

Howard frowned in concern. “Yeah, I can tell.” He whispered as he brushed Vince’s dark hair away from his pale forehead. “I think you need to go back to sleep, little man. You need all the rest you can get.”

“All right.” Vince’s voice trembled, and the sweat was appearing on his skin again. “It’s just… I don’t know if I can. I-I’m feeling really c-cold all of a sudden…”

“That would also be the fever, I’m afraid.” Howard tried to soothe him. “Do you want me to get you another blanket?”

Vince blinked a couple of times, looking almost dizzy. “Actually,” he whispered, “I was thinking that m-maybe… you could get in the bed with me?”

Howard wasn’t sure that he had heard him right. Could Vince really be ready for something like that? One thing was to hold hands and kiss each other’s foreheads, but lying close together after everything that had just happened… 

“Vince, are you sure that you want me to do that?” Howard asked sincerely, not wanting Vince to regret it later when he woke up, probably unable to remember asking this as a favour. “I mean, you might not be ready for this yet, and that’s okay…”

But Vince was freezing and shaking so desperately that he couldn’t have cared less. “D-don’t be ridiculous, Howard… You’re my hero – not m-my a-attacker… H-how could I ever be scared of you?”

“I know, but I just thought that maybe…”

“P-please, Howard…” Vince was begging him this time. “You’re always so warm at night… I-I could really use a little help here…”

And that was everything that Howard needed to hear. Vince needed him. There was nothing that Howard could deny him.

“All right,” he smiled, crawling under the covers slowly, “I’ll help you stay warm, little man.”

Vince’s bed was a single bed and Vince wasn’t really supposed to move, so that didn’t leave Howard with much space to work with. It meant that the two of them had to lie close; Howard practically had to drape his arms around Vince’s shaking, cold body in order not to fall off the mattress. This, however, was something that terrified him. The last thing he wanted was for Vince to feel trapped, like his personal space was invaded. 

But then Howard realised that, to Vince, this wasn’t about overcoming fear or even showing Howard that he still felt safe around him. It was merely about trying to defeat the horrible cold that he was experiencing. In other words, Vince’s sudden illness had forced his basic instincts to take over. 

Right now, it was all simple. It was about staying warm and nothing else. 

“Feeling any better?” Howard asked his friend as he had draped his arms around him, wincing at the clamminess of Vince’s skin. 

Vince was still shivering exhaustedly, but the little man nodded after a while. “Y-yeah, cheers Howard. I think I-I might be able to sleep now…”

“Good.” Howard breathed, pressing a tender kiss to the back of Vince’s head. “You do that then. I’ll stay here with you.”

“All right…” Vince’s voice sounded drowsy now. “Sorry ‘Oward… Can’t keep my eyes open. Love you…” 

“Love you too, little man.”

Howard petted Vince’s arm affectionately, but he was already fast asleep.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

The next morning, though, some of Vince’s strength seemed to have disappeared. 

Howard was barely conscious when he sighed, his eyes heavy with sleep, and let his hand caress the small body that he was still holding. However, he was quickly jerked awake when that body suddenly shuddered and seemed to tear itself away from Howard’s embrace by rolling over and –

And landing hard on the floor, screaming in pain. Yeah, Howard was done sleeping that very moment. 

“Vince!” Howard cried out confusedly. “Vince, what the hell happened?” 

Vince only let out a choked cry as he was trying to breathe through the intense pain building up in his ribcage. He had landed flat on his back, barely awake to know what he was doing. And now he was truly able to feel the impact of all his broken ribs – without the help of pain killers, too. 

Howard jumped to his feet and ran across the room, kneeling down by Vince’s side of the bed. 

“Vince, are you okay? Oh God, how did this happen?” Howard was clearly shocked, if not downright scared. Had he pushed his friend out of the bed in his sleep? Could he really have done something like that without knowing it?

Howard grabbed Vince’s hand instinctively, as if trying to comfort him. Vince’s face was still screwed up in severe pain. It was so bad, the electro boy couldn’t even speak. 

Howard was trying to think of the right thing to do at this point. 

“Vince, I think you must have landed pretty hard on your back,” he said as though he was searching for some sort of explanation, “it’s really bad for your broken ribs, so try not to move, okay? I’ll try to find your pain medicine…”

Howard was running down the stairs, well aware that Vince was left to himself. But this was the only way that he knew how to ease the pain. He quickly searched through the shop, then ran back upstairs when he didn’t find the pills. He looked in the bathroom, the living room – even in the kitchen, although that was still a place where he felt rather uncomfortable. Nothing. 

He then decided to run back to the bedroom. Only this time, he had to pause when he heard Naboo and Bollo’s voices; they had come to Vince’s rescue before Howard even had a chance of helping.

Howard walked in and saw that Naboo was holding Vince’s medication in his hands. That’s why he couldn’t find it anywhere. The shaman and his familiar had already doped Vince up slightly, it seemed. Only, Vince hadn’t calmed down at all – in fact he was crying like an infant now. 

“Vince!” Howard blurted out and ran to join the small crowd around the single bed. “Oh God, how is he? Did you give him his pills, Naboo?” 

Howard felt utterly guilty to see his small friend in tears – he had seemed so determined to stay strong last night. He wanted to bow down and wipe the tears away, but suddenly, Naboo stood in front of him and forced him to stagger backwards. 

“Howard, you ballbag!” The small shaman scolded him unforgivingly. 

“What?” Howard choked in surprise. “What did I do? Oh God, I didn’t push him out of the bed, did I? I swear I didn’t even know…”

“No,” Naboo cut him off irritably, “you didn’t push him out of the bed, Howard. Vince fell because he woke up startled when he could feel someone touching him. What the hell were you thinking?”

Howard’s mouth fell open, but before he could think of anything to say, Vince’s voice had them all turning their heads:

“It wasn’t Howard’s fault,” he sobbed sorrowfully, “it was mine. I asked him to stay in bed with me, Naboo. I-I was really cold… Howard didn’t do anything wrong, I swear…”

“Oh yes he did!” Naboo insisted rather angrily and poked his Northern employee in the chest. “You should have known better, Howard! If he’s cold, you get him another blanket or make him a cup of tea!” 

“Tea?” Howard repeated, feeling almost outraged. “He was shaking, Naboo! He was feeling sick and miserable and I was just trying to make him feel better…”

“Yeah, I’m sure you did,” Naboo snorted, “and look what came out of it! He wakes up in shock and falls down on the floor, injuring his ribs even worse. If you think that’s part of his treatment, it’s not!” 

Howard did feel bad, but he also felt quite misunderstood. If Naboo had seen how miserable Vince had looked when he had asked Howard to help him get warm, he would have understood that he couldn’t have turned him down and left him alone. 

“Naboo, calm down,” he begged, “I was just trying to help.”

“I don’t care, Howard,” Naboo insisted as he turned his back on him, “you don’t get into bed with someone who’s just been raped!” 

The room fell completely silent. Then a shadow fell across the shaman’s face, and Naboo would’ve given anything to go back in time and stop himself from saying those words out loud…

Vince suddenly regained his ability to speak.

“Is that all I am to you now?” He choked out in a defeated, broken voice. “A rape victim? ‘Poor little Vincey, no one can ever go near him again’…” 

The electro boy started crying even louder, and immediately, Bollo was on his knees, petting Vince’s shoulder soothingly, and Naboo also rushed to his side. 

“Vince, oh God – you know that’s not what I meant!” Naboo lisped in utter regret. “Please forget what I said – I wasn’t thinking…” 

“No – no, you’re right!” Vince sobbed frantically as he tried to hide his face behind his hands. “I’m a mess – I’m all disgusting and ugly now! He ruined me…” 

Both Howard and Naboo gasped in shock when they heard this, and poor Bollo nearly broke down in tears himself.

“Precious Vince no talk about himself that way!” The gorilla moaned unhappily. 

“Vince, you know it isn’t true,” Howard quickly butted in and moved in front of Naboo, “you can’t think like that. You are not disgusting, you are not ugly and you are not ruined…”

“Yes I am!” Vince wailed desperately. “He did ruin me, Howard – I’m never gonna look like me again, he took everything away from me… And it’s my own fault for letting him!”

Howard was absolutely horrified. 

“Vince, no – please stop talking like that,” he begged, “you tried to fight him off, you tried everything. You did all you could, you were so strong and brave – how on earth could this be your fault?” 

Vince whimpered sadly, and even though he clearly wasn’t being himself at the moment, Howard did worry what consequences this incident might have for Vince’s self-perception. He recognised that Vince probably felt used and humiliated – defeated. Maybe he feared that Howard wouldn’t find him attractive anymore… 

“I’m all ruined down there, Howard…” He then said, and it was knocking the breaths out of all of them, breaking their hearts simultaneously. “That’s disgusting, isn’t it?” 

Howard sighed in pain. Naboo looked away uncomfortably, but Bollo kept petting Vince loyally. 

“No,” Howard answered truthfully, “there is nothing remotely disgusting about you. You are beautiful. I still feel the same way about you, Vince. He didn’t ruin that. I love you just the same, okay? And you won’t stay… ruined. You will heal, Vince, I promise you. The pain will go away and you will be and look like yourself again.” 

Either Howard’s words had Vince more convinced this time, or he simply ran out of words. Either way, Vince stopped talking and went back to drying his eyes instead. However, even if he was slowly calming down, he still continued to cry for the next ten minutes. Naboo and Bollo left the room as they didn’t want to add to any stress, but Howard lied down on the floor next to his friend, holding his hand, giving him personal space but comforting him at the same time. 

“It’s okay, Vince,” Howard shushed him patiently, “you’ve been really strong so far. It’s all right to cry.”

And Vince did.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

The pain medicine kicked in and Vince did calm down, even if his mood didn’t improve much. He had stopped crying, but Howard wasn’t sure if he liked the situation any better now. Vince’s face was pale with exhaustion, but worse yet, there was a complete lack of expression. As if he was feeling numb all of a sudden. 

Howard squeezed his hand, trying to conceal his worries.

“Are you feeling any better now, little man? Does it still hurt or are you ready to get up from the floor?” 

Vince kept quiet for a moment or two, as though he hadn’t even heard that Howard was talking to him. But then he slowly tried to turn his head in his direction, seeking Howard’s eyes with his own. Howard felt slightly unnerved to see that Vince’s normally blue, sparkly eyes looked empty now. Lifeless.

“I’m sorry, Howard,” he whispered instead of answering the question, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of Naboo.” 

Howard couldn’t bear it. Vince was looking so broken and defeated, and now he thought that he’d embarrassed Howard as well? This certainly wasn’t right. Vince was meant to be strong, happy and proud. He wasn’t supposed to apologise. 

“Vince, you have nothing to apologise for,” Howard reminded him and stroked his hair carefully, “I never felt embarrassed, but even if I had, it wouldn’t have been your fault anyway. You could never embarrass me. Besides, Naboo didn’t mean to react the way he did. It’s just that we’re all struggling to deal with this. None of us knows how to handle the situation, I think.” 

Vince just nodded without adding anything to Howard’s explanation. 

“I just… I feel so gross, Howard.” Vince sniffled dangerously. “So pathetic.” 

Howard immediately lifted himself up on his elbows and moved closer to his friend, almost protectively.

“Hey, quit talking like that, Vince,” he said calmly and stroked his black hair again, “what is that supposed to mean? You’ve been injured, but that doesn’t make you gross or pathetic at all.” 

Vince looked like he wanted to avoid Howard’s gaze at this point, but he still forced himself not to look away. 

“But I… I don’t even feel like this is my own body anymore.” The electro boy whimpered quietly. “I can still… smell him on me. I can still feel his h-hands… And it’s not like I can just wash myself clean. I mean, I can’t even get up from the floor by myself. Everything hurts…” 

Vince’s eyes were watery again. Howard couldn’t blame him. 

“It’s okay,” Howard soothed him, “you have been through a lot, so your reaction is perfectly natural. But just so you know, you’ve had several sponge baths since the… the incident. There is no way that his smell is still on you, Vince.” 

However, this didn’t make the young man feel better at all. Quite the opposite. His eyes grew big in horror.

“H-Howard, you didn’t see me undressed, did you?” Vince immediately choked out a cry at the idea. “Oh God, I can imagine what I must look like now… Howard, please tell me you didn’t see anything! Oh God, I must look awful…” 

Vince began making noises of panic, and Howard could have sworn that those noises were enforced by a new series of sobs as well.

“No, Vince, please don’t do that – not again,” Howard begged him desperately, feeling utterly guilty for reasons that he couldn’t name, “you don’t look awful – you don’t look ruined or gross or anything. It is still your body, Vince – your beautiful, perfect body. He didn’t ruin anything about you, I promise…” 

However, as soon as Howard started talking about Vince’s body, the electro boy wailed louder and choked out dramatically:

“I need to shower! Howard, I need to wash him off me – I’m not clean!” Vince’s body started shaking, almost squirming on the floor. “You don’t know what he did to me! You don’t know where he touched me – I need to wash it all off…”

Vince cried, and Howard leaned in closer, trying to hold him in his arms somehow, but the angle was awkward.

“Vince, calm down – he’s not on you, I swear. You’re clean. But if it will make you feel better, we could help you get into the bathtub…” 

This seemed to be exactly what the young man wanted to hear.

“I also need to brush my teeth, Howard,” he pleaded unnecessarily, “you know what he made me do, don’t you? You know that I had h-his… his dick in my mouth. Oh God, I need to scrub my mouth clean…” 

Howard knew that this was all something that might make Vince feel better about himself, so he saw no point in denying him these things.

“All right, little man, you can brush your teeth all you want if it helps – but I’m gonna need Naboo and Bollo to help us, because I don’t know how to move you to the bathroom without hurting your ribs. Is that okay?”

Vince still seemed uncomfortable, but he nodded compliantly. 

“Howard? If I take a shower… Are you all going to see me naked?” Vince asked nervously, with just enough innocence in his voice to make Howard’s heart ache.

Howard tried not to make a big deal out of the question.

“Vince, we’re all your friends and we’ve been living together for years. It doesn’t matter, no one will care. Besides, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. We just want to help you. Is that okay?” 

It took Vince a moment to react, but then he just nodded again, almost automatically.

“Yeah. I guess.” He said in a weak voice. “It’s going to be okay, I mean.”

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Naboo and Bollo were more than ready to help Vince up from the floor and assist him to the bathroom. However, when Howard asked Naboo if he should carry Vince, the shaman shook his head and said:

“No, I think Vince needs to try and walk on his own. It’s probably going to be painful for him, but he has to learn how to manage. Otherwise he won’t make much progress.” 

Vince suddenly looked up in terror when he heard this and tried to make eye contact with Howard. Howard immediately read his friend’s face and cleared his throat, catching Naboo’s attention.

“I thought – I thought you said that he wasn’t supposed to move, Naboo?” Howard pointed out as discretely as possible, not wanting to reveal how he thought that the shaman was being a little too ambitious on Vince’s behalf. “I mean, are you sure that he’s ready for that? He only just woke up…”

“I meant that he wasn’t supposed to move unnecessarily, Howard,” Naboo explained, “but we have to start somewhere, and this could be an important first step for Vince’s recovery.” 

Vince was helped up from the floor by Bollo who, more or less, had to lift him up until he was standing on his feet. Vince bit his lip in supressed pain and staggered – he hadn’t been standing upright for a while now. Bollo had to balance him by holding on to his arms and Vince generally looked like a toddler who was being taught how to walk for the first time. 

Vince took a first step, then winced. Both Bollo and Naboo were holding on to his arms now. 

“Naboo,” Vince gasped worriedly, “I can’t! It hurts –“

“No, Vince, you’re doing great,” Naboo cheered him on, “just give it one more go. You can do it. You just need to learn how to breathe through the pressure in your chest.” 

But exactly the breathing seemed to be the worst part; Vince was now feeling the consequences of having punctured a lung for the first time, and the complete lack of breath took him by surprise. Walking slowly and carefully had him gasping and groaning in pain. He really couldn’t breathe properly yet. He couldn’t even walk upright; he more or less had to bend forwards and lean some of his weight unto Bollo. 

If Howard had to be honest, this was scaring the living jazz out of him. Seeing Vince struggle to even walk and breathe at the same time felt like a blow to the stomach; his friend had always been in great shape and completely healthy. How could this be fair? 

“Naboo,” Howard heard himself saying, “don’t you think that’s enough now? He’s obviously in pain!” 

Howard moved closer to Vince’s side as if trying to somehow assist him in a way that Bollo wasn’t already assisting him, but Naboo suddenly stopped and shooed him away like he was an annoying pigeon. 

“Howard, back off and let him do this,” Naboo scolded, “he won’t get any stronger unless we push him a little bit. You need to give him some space, yeah?” 

Naboo wouldn’t even let Howard join them in the bathroom as they prepared the bathtub for Vince. (Bollo was filling the hot water with lots of soapy bubbles, not just because the ape knew that Vince loved bubbles, but also because it might help him feel less naked). 

“Come on, Naboo,” Howard pleaded in an offended voice, “you must let me help out in some way. I could help Vince brush his teeth?” 

“No way,” the shaman told him off, “the bathroom is crowded enough already. If you really want to help us out, Howard, you go make some food in the kitchen. Vince really needs to eat and drink to regain his strength.”

Howard did what he was asked, but he had to admit that he felt slightly hurt to be left out like that. It was as though Naboo didn’t trust him to be helpful. Or maybe, just maybe, the shaman had a feeling that it wasn’t good for Vince to be around him too much. Not yet. Howard tried not to think about it as he went back to the kitchen, held his breathe and tried to ignore what had been going on in this very room, on the hard, cold floor… He wanted to prepare the best meal possible for Vince. Maybe that would prove Naboo wrong – maybe then he would see that Howard actually did do Vince some good. 

Inside the bathroom, a new struggle began.

Vince had caught a look of himself in the mirror, had seen his bruised, purple face and started to cry again. He had also looked down on his own body as he was helped out of his clothes and carried down in the water by Bollo’s strong arms. 

“I look awful!” The electro boy screamed and hid his battered face in his hands. “Oh God, how am I ever going to get rid of all these scars?” 

Naboo reminded him that that was the whole purpose of using the shamans’ anti-scar lotion, that his scars would disappear in time. But Vince couldn’t care less. He didn’t recognise the beaten person that he saw in the mirror and so he grieved his new fate; not only did he feel like a miserable rape victim, but he looked like one as well. It was painted all over his face. Everyone in Camden would know as soon as they saw him. 

They could probably read the shame in his eyes. 

Vince spent at least ten minutes trying to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth, but he needed a lot of help just holding the toothbrush. His hands were shaking. He felt horrible and disgusting… He asked Bollo to shampoo his hair twice, just in case he could still smell the creep on him when he walked out of the bathroom. He wanted his smell to be gone. 

When Naboo left the room momentarily, Vince even tried to lean over floor and retch. He wanted to be sick, but he couldn’t. His stomach was completely empty and it was frustrating him. 

“Precious Vince no feel better?” Bollo asked sadly, not liking the way that the young man was trying to cough something up that wasn’t there, but then cringing and breaking down in tears because the coughing made it feel like his ribcage was set on fire.

“Sorry, Bollo,” Vince wept miserably, not feeling strong enough to lie to the gorilla, “I just feel like… Well, I don’t understand how Howard can say that he still loves me. I’m – I’m a mess and I’m repulsive to look at. He deserves so much better than me...” 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Vince was helped out of the bathtub, got dressed into some fresh clothes and then carried back to bed by Bollo. He just didn’t have the energy to do that walk again… 

Howard had the food ready and was on his way to the bedroom, knowing that Vince wouldn’t be able to join the rest of them in the kitchen. He probably needed to go back to sleep after eating his meal, even if it was only early afternoon. 

Naboo and Bollo left the bedroom just as Howard entered. 

“He’s still kind of emotional, Howard,” Naboo warned him quietly, “so just make sure that he eats and then let him fall asleep. Too much talking might be bad.” 

When Howard was alone in the room with Vince, he dragged a small chair across the room so that he could sit by his friend’s bedside.

“Look at you, all fresh and shiny,” Howard smiled at him and patted Vince’s hand, “I think the bath did you good. Am I right?” 

Vince bit his lip, unsure of how to interpret this. 

“Do you think I look better now, Howard?” Was all he asked. 

Howard paused. “Well, yes but – but that doesn’t mean you looked bad before. You just look… happier now.” 

Vince nodded and thought to himself – “that’s because I’m actually cleaner now” – but he didn’t mention this. He knew that Howard hadn’t liked the things that he had said about himself earlier. 

“Cheers, Howard.” 

Vince almost sounded his old self. Almost. 

Howard smiled again and brought the first spoonful close to his mouth. Vince took a deep breath as though he was preparing himself for having to open up his mouth and eat it. 

“You must be starving.” Howard mentioned carefully when he saw his friend hesitate. 

Vince quickly faked a smile and shrugged his shoulders, then wincing at the movement. “I don’t know,” he said honestly, “I mean, I know that my stomach is empty, but I don’t feel it.” 

“I think you will feel it as soon as you’re reminded of how great a cook I am.” Howard grinned and gestured for Vince to go ahead and have a taste. 

Vince opened up his mouth, reluctantly, and tasted the soup that Howard had made for him.

“Carrot and coriander.” Was the first thing he said, frowning his eyebrows as though this was a great surprise to him. “You made me carrot and coriander soup, Howard?” 

“Your favourite.” Howard nodded. “How is it?”

“Uh, it’s good.” Vince faked another smile, still looking pale. 

“Here, have some more. You’re going to need it.” Howard brought the spoon up to his lips again. Vince ate it slowly. Then he prepared another spoonful – then another one, and another one again.

Vince tried to swallow the soup every time, but after only a few minutes he began to feel a sensation in his stomach that he didn’t quite like. He still felt like vomiting. Even by force, if he had to. He still felt incredibly sick, and vomiting was the only way he knew how to make it stop. 

“Hey Howard, do you remember the time we had that soup?” Vince asked Howard in a drowsy voice when he really wanted an excuse to stop eating. He knew that this way, the soup crimp would at least buy him some time. 

Howard smiled, believing that Vince was feeling better all of a sudden, and he started doing the crimp that they had made up together about all their favourite soups. 

But instead of joining in, Vince stuck a finger down his throat when he thought that Howard wasn’t looking and then puked all over the floor. 

Finally – some relief…

“VINCE!” Howard cried in shock and sprung up from his chair, as if stung by a bee. Of course he had seen what Vince did. “What the bloody hell are you doing?” 

Vince felt his cheeks going red immediately. Oh God, this was humiliating. 

“Sorry, Howard.” His voice was only a whisper and he coughed painfully. “I just – I just needed it so bad…”

“Since when do you need to stick a finger down your throat and vomit?” Howard scolded him in an outraged voice. “Vince, you’ve never done that before!”

“I know.” Vince was looking down at his own hands now. “I just… I just needed to get it out of my system. Please, Howard, don’t tell Naboo. I really don’t know why I did it – he’ll get mad at me if he knew that it was on purpose…”

Howard sighed, feeling torn. “All right, I won’t tell him,” he promised reluctantly, “but Vince, you have to promise me that you won’t do it again. It’s really bad for you, and you need food to get healthy again. Do you understand?” 

Vince blushed even worse and nodded, feeling the shame starting to sink in. God, why had he vomited like that over a little bit of soup? He couldn’t image what Howard must have been thinking that moment… 

“I promise, Howard. Sorry.” 

Howard relaxed and reached out to touch his friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Vince. I know this isn’t something that you would normally do. I just worry that…”

“What?” Vince looked up, a tear escaping his eye quietly. “What is it, Howard?” 

Howard hesitated. “This isn’t something that you did to punish yourself, is it? I mean, you said all those things about feeling disgusting earlier. But that isn’t you, Vince. It never was.” 

Vince wiped the tear away and looked in the opposite direction of Howard. 

“But making yourself vomit is sick, isn’t it, Howard? It’s disgusting. I’m disgusting…”

Vince hadn’t even meant to be so pathetic and pity himself like this. He just couldn’t help it. He hadn’t wanted the food. He hadn’t wanted to feel better. He had only wanted to regain control of his own body and all its functions… Making yourself vomit meant being in control. 

“Oh, Vince… No, you cannot do this to yourself.” Howard put the soup away and leaned in to run a hand through the black hair. “You are not sick and disgusting, and this is not how you are going to make yourself feel better. Please, Vince – for me? Will you stop doing it for me?” 

Vince couldn’t hold it back anymore. The tears were back, simply because Howard was talking to him like that. His sweet, caring Howard…

“I’d do a-anything for you, Howard.” Vince broke down crying. “But… I just don’t understand… what you see in me… And why you bother with me. If I’m not disgusting now then… Then I know that I u-used to be…”

Vince was sobbing too heavily to continue, and Howard was once again left in shock.

“Vince, bloody hell – where is this coming from?” Howard almost didn’t know what to say. “Please, you know how much you mean to me – you know how I feel about you and that is never going to change. So please don’t say that you have ever been disgusting, because you haven’t!”

“Yes I have!” Vince protested almost furiously. “I must have been! Why else would those guys hate me enough to track down where I live and… and do this to me! I must have done somethin’ wrong, Howard – I must have done somethin’ to disgust people! I’ve been acting like a slag, looking for attention and havin’ drinks with everyone. Maybe I’ve just been asking for it…”

“No!” Howard shouted all of a sudden, and Vince nearly did a jump. Howard grabbed Vince’s shoulders furiously, as though he wanted to shake the nonsense out of him. “No, Vince! Don’t say that! You are my best friend, you are my love, you are my life – hell, you qualify as my boyfriend even! I love you and I know you – you were never asking for it. You never did anything to deserve this. No one deserves to get raped or abused. People love you because you are nice to them, and because you are happy and funny and make everyone around you smile. So please – please stop talking like that…” 

Vince stopped weeping and moaning all of a sudden and looked into Howard’s eyes instead. He read them and understood that he meant every word. Oh God – Howard was his rock, his guardian angel… What on earth would he do without him? 

“H-Howard…” He sniffled. His mouth had gone dry. “Do you really… Do you really think of me as your boyfriend? Do you really want a relationship with me after this?” 

Howard let out an audible breath. Perhaps Vince would actually be able to take in what he said this time.

“Yes,” he said in a voice that was just as genuine as his eyes, “I love you. I want to spend every day with you. There’s never been anyone other than you, Vince.” 

Vince felt a sudden urge to kiss Howard and hold him close, but he could still taste the vomit in the back of his mouth. So, instead, he settled for crying out of gratefulness and telling Howard, over and over again, how much he loved him. Howard hadn’t given up on him, not even for a second. And now Vince knew that it was up to him to make things right again.

He would do it for Howard. He would fight through the recovery and he would stay strong. Anything it took to make Howard happy again. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Vince slept throughout most of the day. Naboo had to wake him up early in the evening because he wanted him to eat and drink again. He hadn’t asked any questions about Vince’s vomiting, but being a shaman, perhaps he didn’t need to.

Vince finished his bowl of soup this time. 

“Naboo?” He asked tiredly when the shaman was on his way out of the bedroom again. “Naboo, could you get Bollo for me? There is something that I need to say to both of you…”

Naboo frowned for a moment, but he chose to nod instead of asking any questions. 

“I’ll get him for you now, Vince.” Was all he said. 

Ten minutes later, Howard was standing just outside the bedroom. He wanted to go in and check up on his friend, but then he heard voices. It was Vince – he was talking to both Naboo and Bollo. His voice still wasn’t too strong, but he sounded more lucid than he had earlier that day. Howard listened carefully.

Vince was thanking Naboo and Bollo – not only for saving his life along with Howard, but for looking after him, too. He told them that he considered them family rather than just flat mates. Howard could hear Bollo sniffling emotionally and Naboo’s voice turn hoarse and throaty. 

When Howard finally entered the room, both the shaman and his familiar were leaning over the bed, their arms wrapped loosely around Vince in some sort of awkward group hug. 

On their way out, Naboo patted Howard’s shoulder, and Bollo drew him in for a bone-cracking hug; something that Howard never thought he’d receive. It was the weirdest, most touching moment that he could ever have imagined.

“Howard.” Vince said almost happily when they caught each other’s eyes. He smiled beautifully – peacefully. “Hey Howard, sit with me for a while. Before I fall asleep again.” 

Howard sat down on the mattress, barely knowing what to say, but enjoying the quiet atmosphere as well.

“You look a lot better.” Howard heard himself saying. “I bet it’s the soup.”

Vince’s smile grew bigger and he grinned – he actually grinned. “Perhaps you’re right.” He admitted calmly. “Thanks, Howard.”

“No need to thank me, little man.”

“I see you still haven’t picked any new sweet names for me, eh?” Vince teased him. 

“Well – you are my little man, aren’t you?” Howard joked. He always liked that expression anyway. 

“Yeah, I am.” Vince agreed. “Listen, Howard… I know that I haven’t been myself today. I’ve been… Out of it.”

“I don’t blame you.” Howard said and let his fingers sweep over Vince’s hand. “The day didn’t start out the best way either.”

“I know, but…” Vince bit his lip as he pondered. “I just want you to know that that’s not who I want to become. I don’t want to be a mess and freak out over every little thing.”

“Vince, you’ve hardly been dealing with small things…” Howard reminded him seriously. 

“But my point is, Howard – I want to stay strong. Not just for you, but for me as well. I don’t want to punish and pity myself for what happened. I just want to recover and find my old self again.”

Howard’s chest swelled with sudden pride. That was the Vince he knew and loved. Vince offered him another smile – ever so sweetly. 

“You saved me, Howard. And I don’t want to throw that away. I want us to have a future together – I want us to build a solid relationship, like you mentioned. But we can’t do that if I’m going crazy and making myself vomit. I promise you, it won’t happen again. I’ll stay strong from now on.”

Howard kissed Vince’s hand, then his forehead. Vince never pulled away. Everything felt safe and secure again. 

When Vince fell asleep, Howard stayed by the bedside just looking at him. They had both been so lucky. They could have lost each other forever, but they hadn’t. And Howard was going to appreciate that every day, for as long as he lived. 

Vince had come back to him. Perhaps the world wasn’t so cruel after all.

Before going to bed himself, Howard leaned over and whispered to the sleeping man beneath him:

“You think I saved you, Vince, but the truth is that you have saved me as well. More times than you will ever know. My life used to be lonely – empty. But you filled it with sunshine and hope for a better future. And now I know that I’m gonna find all that with you by my side. So I guess I just wanted to say - thank you, my love.”


	10. Epilogue

Six Months Later

 

It was a Friday night and Howard had trouble falling asleep. It was only half past ten, and everyone had already gone to bed. It never used to be like that. Normally, Bollo would be out DJ’ing, Naboo would be up, smoking hookah, or maybe doing some shady shaman business that he could never be bothered to share with the rest of them. Howard would stay up as well, trying to keep himself awake by reading a book or watching some sophisticated documentary on the telly. He would normally try and stay awake until – much later at night – he would hear the front door opening and Vince staggering inside, drunk and giggling, falling over random objects in the flat. 

But that had all changed now. Bollo was tired of being a DJ, Naboo just wanted more nights at home, or so he said, and Howard – well, there was no need for him to stay up late anymore. Because Vince had stopped going out at all. 

For the past six months, Vince had been declining all sorts of invites to both gigs, parties and fancy club openings. He had declined all sorts of requests from old friends, even when they had come to the flat and tried to persuade Vince to come out with them. He had also stopped inviting all the people of Camden back to the shop where some of the most annoying ones amongst his mates used to harass Howard and mess up his pride that was Stationary Village. 

Vince refused to spend time with people these days – refused to even answer his phone if he felt like he couldn’t trust the person in question. His former overwhelming circle of friends and admirers had been narrowed down drastically. Besides Leroy – who would still try to drag him down to Topshop every now and then – Vince only bothered to spend his time with his flat mates. And Howard in particular. 

If Vince hadn’t been showing his love and affection for his jazzy freak before, he certainly was now. He did everything with Howard. Spent every hour of every day in his company, and his alone if possible. The odd couple would wake up every morning together in their new double bed, curled up in each other’s arms, giggling and greeting each other with almost shy, tender kisses. They would make breakfast together before they went downstairs to open up the shop together as well. They would crimp and mock each other like they used to – but, unlike the times at the zoo, they would now kiss and make up immediately. Especially if one of them seemed to take offense. 

To put it briefly, Vince would stay by Howard’s side 24/7. And not just because he sometimes still depended on him for help whenever one of his old wounds troubled him. Even after his body healed and he learned how to manage without his pills and Naboo’s potions, Vince would still cling to Howard, looking up to him as the great hero who had saved his life and would continue to save it in the future. Vince would hug Howard from behind when he wanted to surprise him and then, if Howard responded well enough, he would hold on to his arm lovingly, like a cat who was looking to cuddle, and press a cheeky kiss to his face when no one was looking. Or even when they were. 

Bollo used to grunt and leave the room immediately, even though everyone knew that the gorilla had grown soft enough to approve of his flat mates’ openly display of affection. And Naboo – well, he would usually say something like:

“Do you mind? You already ruined my appetite once by snogging at the breakfast table…”

And Vince, he would giggle and be cute as ever as he hid his face in the nape of Howard’s neck, blushing like a teenage girl in love. And Howard would see this and feel his heart swell deliciously, and he would enclose the smaller man in a tight embrace and press at least a series of kisses down to his hair or his forehead, making Naboo roll his eyes and leave the room as well.

“Ballbags…” 

But Howard knew that Naboo was secretly happy for them. He could tell by the way that the shaman would always indulge Vince whenever he was having one of his routine check-ups and wouldn’t stop talking about how great Howard was. Naboo would order Vince to lie down on the sofa so that he could examine the healing wounds and make sure that nothing was infected. He would also prod Vince’s chest carefully in order to make sure that his ribs were healed and that there were no pains anywhere. 

Vince never knew that Howard used to stand behind the half closed door, eavesdropping on their conversation. The maverick had convinced himself that he was only doing this because he wanted to make sure that Vince was doing better and that Naboo was being thorough in his examination, but in all honesty, he also did it because he quite enjoyed listening to his boyfriend’s rants. 

“Naboo? Naboo, did you hear me?” Vince would sometimes scold if Naboo was ignoring the things he said. 

“Yeah, you were talking about Howard again.” Naboo sighed with a lack of interest in his voice. “Vince, please keep still…”

“Yeah, but don’t you agree?” Vince would smile innocently and sometimes even bite his own finger, almost flirtatiously. “Don’t you think that Howard looks good with his long, curly hair? I can’t believe that I never noticed how handsome he was... He almost looks like a pirate. A sexy, dirty one, of course. Do you think that I could get him to wear an eyepatch? That would be genius…” 

“Vince, please don’t call Howard sexy.” Was all Naboo had to say about that. “Now please, stop moving around. We’re almost done for today…”

But Vince couldn’t be talked out of his fantasies that easily. It was obvious to everyone that he had started idolising Howard in a new way that was quite different from the way that he had admired the older man before. Howard Moon had truly become his knight in shining armour. Howard couldn’t really do anything wrong anymore – at least not to Vince. And even though the younger man would still tease and taunt him about his jazz records and his nutmeg cardigans, there was nothing that Howard could do to actually upset him or make them start a fight. 

Vince was devoted to him in every possible way, and when Howard stood by the door and listened to the way that the electro boy was talking him up to Naboo, he almost couldn’t believe how his life had turned out. 

Six months ago, a tragedy had happened and Howard thought that he and Vince would never really recover from it and be happy again. And yet, here they were – laughing and crimping together, deeply in love with one another. 

Howard Moon never thought that he would say this – especially not six months ago – but he was eternally grateful. He had never in his dreams thought that he would be so lucky, so happy and so loved. 

Life was beautiful, and Vince was precious. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

It was a Friday night and Howard still had trouble falling asleep. How could he sleep with such life and joy inside of him? It felt impossible… Especially when he could feel the warmth of his lover’s naked skin so close to his own.

Vince was his, and his alone. All those years Howard had spent alone, feeling sorry for himself and dreaming about having his feelings returned… Well, here he was. Finally. It was almost too good to be true. 

Vince had nodded off with his head resting on Howard’s broad chest, but now he was being spooned in his boyfriend’s arms. He slowly woke up to the sensation of Howard’s moustache caressing his naked skin under the sheets as his shoulders and back were covered in tender kisses. 

He blinked slowly, smiling to himself. It wasn’t unusual for Howard to wake him up like this. It was quite a sweet gesture. It was slow. Sensual, but also cautious – almost as though Howard was scared that he was taking it too far. That he was crossing some invisible line. 

Howard was being adorable, Vince decided, as he responded to the kisses by arching his back slightly and moaning happily.

“Mm… Howard.” He whispered in delight, his voice throaty and thick with sleep. Howard was slowly caressing his shoulder blades with his tongue, and the tickling sensation sent a rush of blood through Vince’s shivering body. “Howard – don’t stop…” 

“Wasn’t planning to.” Howard grinned almost wickedly and bit down on the pale, sensitive skin teasingly. “I’m only just getting started, little man.” 

Vince purred with excitement and practically pressed himself closer against Howard, longing to feel more of his touches. He could feel Howard’s warm breath on his neck. Vince closed his eyes and savoured the tickling. 

“Yeah, that’s right,” Howard chuckled, breathing in Vince’s ear as he wrapped his arms around the small body, holding him tight, “you’re not getting out of this one until I’m done with you.”

Vince had turned his head around, twisting his neck and shoulders almost acrobatically, expecting to meet Howard’s lips in a searing kiss. 

But all of a sudden, Howard had let go of him and pulled back. He had only just heard the words that had come out of his mouth. Oh God what was he even thinking? The last time that someone had been holding on to Vince and told him that there was no getting out of it, Vince had been raped. And now Howard was trying to talk dirty by copying that maniacs sick behaviour? Howard bit his own tongue and gave himself a mental slap…

“Howard?” Vince sensed the sudden change. “Howard, you okay?” 

“Yeah… Yeah, sure.” Howard held his breath. He didn’t want Vince to know how uncomfortable he felt. “Uhm, how about I give you a massage instead, eh?” He suggested smoothly, wanting to take things as slow as possible.

“A massage?” There was a clear element of surprise in Vince’s voice. “But I thought we were cuddling?” 

“I know,” Howard said with a snort, struggling to sound normal, “but you’re always saying how I’ve got magic hands, right? And I just want to make you feel good.” 

Luckily, Vince didn’t suspect a thing.

“Cheers, Howard.” He grinned fondly and rolled over to lie on his stomach. “How do you want me?”

“That’s perfect.” Howard said as he changed his own position in the bed, hovering over his boyfriend. He pulled down the sheets, exposing Vince’s naked back. “Can… Can I maybe straddle you a little bit?” He asked nervously. “I just need better access.”

Vince suddenly laughed at him. “Silly git, you are! Just jump on, you don’t need to ask me.” 

Howard instantly blushed. That wasn’t true. Of course he had had to ask him first. No one was allowed to just jump on top of Vince without permission. 

“Right…” He breathed nervously as he straddled Vince’s thighs clumsily. “Tell me if you need me to move, though. All right?” 

“Yeah, yeah – just get on with it.” Vince laughed again. “You promised me a massage, so quit stalling.” 

Howard smiled silently. Vince trusted him completely, even when Howard was having doubts about his own actions. 

“I’m not stalling, baby.” Howard brushed some of Vince’s long hair aside and bowed down to plant a soft kiss onto his neck. Vince relaxed his body and sighed sweetly. 

Howard was watching his own big, rough Northern hands as he began to rub and caress the pale, delicate skin. Sometimes he thought that Vince looked precious and fragile like a porcelain doll, and he feared crushing him with his own bigger, less graceful body. But Vince never said a word about Howard’s size. He never complained. He seemed to love and adore every bit of the tall, jazzy freak. 

Howard sometimes wondered why. How Vince could see so much in him when other people didn’t. But then, he also knew that he and Vince were perfect together. He felt it every day when the two of them were crimping down in the shop, or were fighting over what genre of music to listen to, when they fell asleep on the sofa together at night, watching another Colobus the Crab marathon. He could feel it when he was watching Vince in silence, admiring the pointy, yet beautiful features, admiring the big smile and the sparkly, blue eyes and then feeling a tingling in the pitch of his stomach… And Vince would always notice his staring, and when he did, Howard would look away immediately, feeling mortified. And Vince would grin knowingly, allowing Howard to escape the room in embarrassment. Sometimes, though, Vince would walk up to him and kiss him instead. 

That was what Howard loved most about Vince – the tender kissing. The hugs, the touching. Vince was always touching him, leaning against him, using him as a human pillow. He was being so open and honest about his feelings. And then there was his amusement when Howard was being shy… 

Howard looked down at Vince’s back as the massage intensified. The old scars spelling out the word “whore” were still showing, vaguely. But they would soon disappear completely. Vince never talked about them. Or anything that was related to the rape in general. 

It was something for all of them to try and forget. Howard just wished that he was doing a better job. Sometimes he would still wake up in the middle of the night, sweating and with his heart pounding in his chest, because he had seen a glimpse of a hurt, broken Vince in his dreams. A dead Vince that was bleeding all over the floor, not breathing. 

Howard would sometimes struggle not to scream. Or cry. Instead, he settled for wrapping his arms around Vince’s warm, alive body as he tried to go back to sleep. He knew that Vince knew about his nightmares. And yet, not a word was spoken about it. 

Vince interrupted Howard’s chain of thoughts as he began to moan slightly. 

“Oh yeah, Howard, that’s the spot!” He hummed, curling his toes, and Howard was immediately distracted.

“Yeah?” Howard smirked. He liked the idea of bringing his boyfriend pleasure. “I give pretty great massages, don’t I? Hence the magic hands.”

Vince was purring as Howard massaged his shoulder blades with a firm hand. 

“You’re genius.” The electro boy agreed eagerly. “Harder, Howard! Harder!” 

Howard was caught between laughing and gaping in amazement when he saw how Vince was twisting in delight underneath him. Was he being serious? Howard was barely doing anything… 

“You sure about that, little man?” Howard tested him hesitantly. “You know I’ve got powerful fingers.” 

“Come on, Howard, it feels so good!” Vince moaned impatiently and shivered. “Just give it all you got.” 

Howard caved and added extra strength to his touches. And as a result, Vince had to bite his lip. He dug his fingers into the sheets, clutching them. Howard almost thought that he was being too rough for a moment, but then he noted the smile that was forming on the little man’s lips. 

“Oh Howard…” Vince sighed again, clearly not in any pain at all. “That’s perfect.”

Howard watched his boyfriend grind against the mattress, breathing heavily. It was as though he could feel some sort of energy run through Vince’s body. He had regained his strength all right – his spark. Everything that made him so bright, so perky, so charming – so beautiful. Vince was beautiful. Howard couldn’t take his eyes off him. He was spell-bound. Just touching his smooth skin sent shivers down Howard’s spine. 

Vince took in another deep breath of pleasure and Howard closed his eyes, savouring the moment. 

Then he opened them again, and he realised why Vince had been moving underneath him like that: Howard looked down at himself and saw that his hard-on was poking Vince’s lower back. Since when had he grown an erection like that? Had Vince been able to feel him right from the beginning…? 

Howard let out a silent shriek and jumped off Vince’s back as though he had just been set on fire. 

“Oh God!” He exclaimed awkwardly as he rolled over to the other side of the bed. “Vince – I’m sorry! I didn’t even realise…” 

But before Howard could even excuse himself, Vince was all over him. Jumping forward to straddle the bigger man’s lap, Vince encircled his arms around Howard’s neck and pressed their lips together passionately. 

“Howard!” He groaned and pressed his body closer up against the maverick’s. “Oh Howard…”

The kiss was deep and fervent, and Howard breathed in the sweet scents of Vince’s hair products. He was surprised just how great it felt to be touched again and to hold Vince close – it had been so long since the last time the two of them had… had… Howard cursed himself as he felt his own erection grow bigger and throbbing. This had to be wrong. Howard wasn’t supposed to get carried away. It was too soon. Vince was going to regret it afterwards. It was all going to go horribly wrong…

Howard almost didn’t have the strength to break things up. Vince’s lips on his own was something too sweet, too perfect, too seductive. All the memories from their one night in bed together were rushing back to him, and he ached to experience it all once more: The passion, the desire, the lust, the love… Howard and Vince had only had sex that one night, and Howard had replayed that beautiful scene over and over again in his head. He ached to do it all again.

But how could he? Vince was still vulnerable. It wouldn’t feel right. Howard was supposed to do the responsible thing. The gentle thing. How could Vince possibly be ready? 

Vince must have felt Howard’s boner twitch in agony because the kiss almost grew desperate from that moment on. Vince’s hands were everywhere all of a sudden; in Howard’s hair, caressing Howard’s cheeks, feeling their way down Howard’s body, trying to bring the two of them closer by tightening their grip around Howard’s naked back. Then Vince began trailing his kisses downwards… He moved away from Howard’s lips and began to kiss his jaw, then his neck, then his chest, his stomach… Howard knew exactly where this was going. Oh God. 

“Vince.” Howard took in a sharp breath and pulled away, but Vince’s arms were still around his middle. “Vince, wait – please stop.” 

However, it wasn’t until Howard grabbed Vince’s hands and pulled them off him, gently, that he stopped. 

Vince looked up at him in confusion. Or perhaps it was a look of hurt. Howard looked away. 

“Howard?” Vince was still slightly out of breath from the kiss.

“I’m sorry,” Howard whispered, feeling utterly useless, “but I don’t think it would be a good idea. It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me…”

“I do believe you.” Vince then said and smirked. Howard noticed that he was still looking down at his erection, and it was revealing just how much he wanted it. 

Howard smiled apologetically. “Vince, I’m scared.” He heard himself admitting. Even if he felt stupid for saying it. 

Vince frowned his brow, looking worried all of a sudden. “Of what?” He asked. “Me?” 

“Don’t be daft, little man.” Howard let out a nervous chuckle. “How could I be scared of you? It’s just that I’m – I’m scared of, you know… Hurting you.”

“Howard, you could never hurt me.” Vince reached out and took Howard’s hands in his own. “Come on. Please?” 

Howard looked away again and shook his head. “No. Vince, you’re not ready yet.” 

“Yes I am!” Vince protested. “Howard, it’s been six months. I’m not scared anymore.”

“But I am.” Howard could barely recognise his own voice. “Please, can’t we just forget about it? Just for now?” 

“Howard, you’re scared of touching me!” Vince spoke melodramatically. “How am I supposed to forget that?” 

Howard closed his eyes. This was agony. “I don’t know.” He whispered. 

The room fell silent for a moment. Vince slowly let go of Howard’s hands, and so they were sitting on each side of the bed, no longer touching each other. 

“Howard, I love you.” Vince whispered just before things got painfully awkward.

“I love you, too.” Howard responded immediately, meaning it with all his heart. 

“You’re not gonna break me.” Vince then said. “I promise.”

“How can you be so sure?” Howard demanded, still struggling to know what was right and wrong. Naboo would kill him if he knew… But did Naboo have to know? And was Naboo even right when he decided that Vince was off limits? 

“You didn’t break me the first time, did you?” Vince offered him a cocky smile. “Remember, Howard? We were pretty genius together, weren’t we?” 

“Yeah, we were.” Howard agreed, remembering. That night had been absolute magic. The best experience in Howard’s life. “Vince, you know how much I loved being with you. But I just worry that this time won’t be as good. For you, I mean.”

“It will, Howard, I promise! I want you so much.” Vince leaned in, eagerly. “How about this. I will let you know if it doesn’t feel good, and that way you don’t have to worry so much about everything. How does that sound?”

Howard thought about it for a moment. “I suppose that might work.” He pondered. “If you promise that you’ll be honest with me.” He then added. 

“Yeah, yeah – come here, you berk!” Vince went back to kissing him all over, pulling Howard close. And this time, Howard wasn’t strong enough to argue with his little man.

They ended up rolling around on the bed, falling in and out of each other’s arms, closing the gap between them each time. Vince was lying on top of Howard when he began to trail kisses down the broad chest again, taking his time to do a thorough job. Howard was breathing heavily. Vince licked his nipple and his boner grew harder once more. 

Vince was moving downwards. It was only making Howard feel even more excited. 

“Do you want us to take things slow?” Vince asked him attentively, looking up to study the look on Howard’s face.

Howard knew what this question meant. His breath got stuck in his throat and he couldn’t think of anything to say. He didn’t want Vince to stop, but he didn’t want him to take it too far either… As long as Vince was in control, he was going to be all right. Wasn’t he? 

Vince grinned, interpreting Howard’s silence. 

“All right then.”

And suddenly, Howard felt a warm mouth closing around the tip of his penis, taking him in. He gasped loudly – then blushed in embarrassment. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. Bloody hell. He never knew that it was supposed to feel so heavenly delightful. Or maybe it was just Vince making everything so perfect. Howard fought back the urge to thrust upwards, but laid back and closed his eyes instead. 

“Oh God…” Howard groaned as Vince’s lips went up and down his length, his tongue twirling around the head. He had never before experienced such an instant pleasure. “Oh God, yes – yes! Yes! Oh, Vince…”

Vince smirked, knowing that Howard hadn’t expected to enjoy anything oral, but now he was practically squirming in delight. He sped up just slightly, just to see the maverick’s reaction. Howard squeaked and grabbed the bedsheets, seemingly very close to coming. Vince had never seen a smile that broad on Howard’s lips… 

He paused suddenly and drew back, just to tease the older man slightly and make him beg for more. And his plan worked – Howard immediately complained and let out a disappointed moan. Vince chuckled and stalled a little longer before bringing his lips back to the tip. But he was too slow. Howard was so desperate for more that he got carried away for a moment and grabbed Vince’s head, keeping him still as he pushed himself back inside. Vince immediately gagged as Howard practically hit the back of his throat and, by instinct, he drew back in one swift movement.

“Easy there, tiger.” Vince laughed as he coughed a couple of times. It hadn’t even been that bad – he just hadn’t been prepared for it. “Howard?”

But when Vince looked up at his boyfriend, Howard looked absolutely horrified. His mouth had fallen open, and his eyes were big and wide for a change. 

“Oh fuck!” Howard exclaimed in a panicky voice and sat up in the bed, feeling so shocked and embarrassed that he actually thought about fleeing the room. “Bloody hell, Vince, I’m so, so sorry! I don’t know what came over me – I didn’t mean to do that, I swear! Please, forgive me…” 

Vince almost didn’t know what to say. Was Howard being serious? 

“I’ll forgive you if you shut up and put it in me before you fall limp again…” Vince joked and cocked his head charmingly. Just looking at Howard’s expression made him struggle not to laugh. 

“How can you joke about this?!” Howard spluttered. “Vince, I crossed the line – I completely lost control of myself and you’re just making jokes?” 

“Calm down, Howard,” Vince sighed and rolled his eyes, “you just got a little passionate, is all. That’s supposed to happen during sex, remember?”

Howard shook his head. “No – no,” he breathed, “this is not what’s supposed to happen. I had no right to do it. Vince, I forced myself upon you. How could I do such a thing?”

“Howard, I really wouldn’t call it that. You didn’t force yourself upon me.” Vince’s voice was pretty serious this time. It suddenly annoyed him that Howard didn’t know the difference. “Forcing yourself upon someone means not stopping when they ask you to. I never asked you to stop…”

But Howard wasn’t having it. He climbed out of the bed, not knowing what to do with himself. “I’m sorry, but this was a mistake.” He said. “We never should have started anything tonight, Vince. You’re not ready. We’re not ready… I don’t want to ruin what we have.” 

Howard began to search the floor for his pants, contemplating that he should probably spend the night on the sofa, but Vince jumped off the bed and ran towards him before that happened. He wrapped his arms around Howard’s torso and rested his head against Howard’s chest. 

“Nothing’s ruined, you ballbag,” he whispered, “I want you, all right? I’m not scared of you. You’re always allowed to touch me, Howard. Always. Your touches couldn’t hurt me and, you know, it’s not like sex is a sin. What that – that man did to me… It was something else. It had nothing to do with sex. It was all about hurting me, he just used sex to do it. But with you, Howard… With you, everything feels so right. So good. I always feel safe with you. So if you don’t want us to have sex – fine. I can live with that. But please don’t run away from me.” 

Howard was speechless. He felt how Vince actually snuggled into him, relaxing his body. He realised that he was telling the truth – Vince really did feel safe around him.

“Sorry, baby – you’re right.” Howard swallowed the lump in his throat. “I shouldn’t run away. I guess I just… panicked.”

“It’s okay.” Vince whispered. “Just stay, all right?” 

“Yeah.” Howard wrapped his arms around the smaller body that was now pressed against him. “Of course I’ll stay.”

Howard buried his face in Vince’s hair. He couldn’t help but to smell it, and it was enough to make his cock twitch again. Perhaps the little man was being all seductive on purpose… 

Howard pressed a soft kiss to Vince’s forehead and ended up carrying him back to bed, just for the sake of a romantic gesture. Vince smiled calmly and allowed Howard to put him down on the mattress. He knew that Howard sometimes saw him as a damsel in distress, but he didn’t want him to keep worrying over every little thing. He was all right now. He had healed. He was more in love than ever and he was happy. 

“Howard, you don’t have to treat me like a victim anymore.” Vince whispered and reached out to stroke the older man’s cheek. “You don’t have to be so careful with me all the time. But still, thank you. I know how much you care.”

Howard was hovering over his boyfriend as Vince laid down on his back, not knowing if they were going to sleep or if they were staying up to talk. Howard couldn’t help but to smile. He felt like an idiot for being so over-protective. But he just couldn’t help it. He never wanted to see Vince get hurt again – not by anyone. He loved him more than words could say. 

But at the same time, it felt awful to have Vince offering himself up to him and then having to turn him down. Vince wasn’t used to rejection and Howard could tell that it was something that made the little man feel self-conscious. Was it all a big fuss over nothing? Was Howard being an idiot for not listening when Vince told him that he felt ready? 

Howard then made a sudden decision. 

“You’re beautiful.” He said as he bowed down to press a small kiss to his lover’s lips. “You’re so beautiful, I don’t know what to do with you.”

When Vince didn’t move away, Howard took a second risk and laid down on top of him, slowly. Vince didn’t flinch or pull any faces. In fact, he seemed to welcome this. Howard took a shaky breath and relaxed his body, making himself heavier. His hand had already seized Vince’s smooth, soft hair, and he was running the black locks through his fingers, playfully. 

“Aw, Howard.” Vince smiled almost shyly, and he looked genuinely grateful that Howard had finally approached him. The two of them looked into each other’s eyes, and Howard forgot the world around him. “You’re not gonna run off again, are you?” Vince then asked, grinning, but careful not to give him any bad ideas. 

Howard shook his head. “No.” He pinned Vince’s hands down and then kissed him slowly. “I’m all yours. You know I am.”

The kiss went on for several minutes, and Howard grew confident enough to not only pin Vince’s hands to the bedpost, but also to grind their erections together shamelessly. Vince was moaning and wrapping his legs around Howard’s, as though he secretly doubted and feared that he might make another run for it any minute. But Howard didn’t. 

They ended up having sex for the first time since the incident. Howard was slow and gentle the whole time, being deliberately loving and attentive as well. Perhaps it wasn’t as wild and passionate as Vince originally had planned it to be, but he realised that he didn’t care. Howard made him feel just perfect. The bigger man had him panting and biting his lip with pleasure, even if he wasn’t moaning loudly like the first time they had had sex. But this was a big step for them to take, and Vince was just relieved that it had happened at all and that Howard woke up the next morning, not regretting it at all, but in fact looking like they would be doing that again very soon. 

Falling asleep in Howard’s arms that night, Vince knew that he had one fear less to conquer now. He hadn’t felt any pain – he hadn’t been haunted by any traumatic flash-backs. It was all good. Now he had to set himself a new goal. He didn’t have to worry about reconnecting with Howard anymore, but, perhaps, it was time for him to reconnect with the world outside his window.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

A few days later, down in the shop, Howard was doing some organisational work on Stationary Village whilst Vince was sitting behind the desk, reading a cartoon. (He once used to sit in the red barber chair when he was reading his magazines, but Howard had noticed how Vince wasn’t comfortable on the other side of the desk anymore. It was too close to the entrance and to the world outside). They had had absolutely no customers for hours now, and the afternoon was passing very slowly. 

Then the doorbell rang, and even though Howard pretended not to notice, Vince flinched visibly. They both looked up as three of Vince’s old friends appeared. 

“Oi – Vince mate!” One of them shouted loudly and grinned. “Where have you been?”

“Yeah, mate, we haven’t seen you in ages!” A second one added.

“You never answer your phone anymore when I ring you,” the third guy butted in, “did you lose it or something?”

Vince was too taken aback to even speak. He and Howard exchanged nervous looks, but there was no way out of this one. Questions were being asked and answers had to be made up.

“Uhm… Yeah.” Vince lied nervously, not knowing what else to do. “Yeah, I lost it. Can’t find it anywhere, that bloody thing. Sorry, Connor.” 

Howard was looking down in the floor awkwardly. He didn’t blame Vince for lying. He just hoped that his mates would be thick enough to actually buy it. 

“Bummer.” One of the lads said, looking confused. “Have you tried ringing it? From another number, I mean.”

Vince let out a shaky breath and shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve tried everything!” He tried to sound as casual as possible. “Guess I’ll just have to wait for it to turn up.”

The three mates were now walking around in the shop, picking stuff down from the shelves, touching and inspecting whatever they found interesting. Howard shivered inwardly – he didn’t like it when people he barely knew invaded his privacy like this and left their finger prints all over the place. He prayed to God that they would at least leave his precious Stationary Village alone.

“So how come you haven’t been around for so long, mate?” One of the guys asked Vince, walking up to stand by the desk. “Rumour has it that you’ve been avoiding everyone in Camden. That you have barely left the flat. Are you ill or something?” 

“Yeah, Vince, it’s so unlike you. You’re beginning to make us worried about you. Are you ill, seriously?” 

Vince looked pale and uncomfortable now. Almost as though he really was ill. 

“I’m fine!” He squeaked, close to revealing himself. “Honestly, everything’s fine, I’ve just been… busy. Really, really busy. Too busy to leave the shop, most days.”

His friends didn’t really seem to buy it. Howard was still trying to avoid looking at any of them. This was bloody awkward.

“Are you sure, mate?” The fellow named Connor asked sceptically. “I mean, you don’t look too good. Your cheeks have lost their colour and all.”

Vince shrugged again. “I’ve always been pale.” He said. “It’s the new look, anyway. The best look. I’m the Shoreditch vampire, remember?” 

“Nah, it’s gotta be more than that, Vince,” Connor argued, “you’ve got a wrinkle between your eyebrows. Like you’re bothered about something. You’ve never had any wrinkles before. Are you sure everything’s all right?” 

“Well, all the work I’ve been doin’ in the shop gives me headaches.” Vince explained, even though it was painfully evident that the shop hadn’t been busy at all. “You know that I sometimes get migraines when I work hard. That’s all. In fact, I kind of need to go upstairs and, uhm, take my pills for it. I really wish I could stay and catch up with you guys, but it’s only getting worse…”

Vince quickly excused himself, said goodbye to his friends and escaped upstairs. Howard watched the three guys exchange confused looks, but they soon decided to give up on the idea of persuading Vince to come along with them. They quickly left the shop, disappointed that none of their questions about the prince of Camden had been answered. 

“Laters, Harold.” One of them nodded, closing the door behind them.

“It’s Howard, actually…” Howard corrected him awkwardly even though they had already left. He knew that most of Vince’s friends didn’t really like him or notice him, but he didn’t mind. Sometimes it was better to be anonymous. 

Howard decided to close up the shop early so that he could go upstairs and check up on Vince. It wasn’t like any customers were going to show up, anyway. He felt sure that Naboo wouldn’t mind. But just as he was locking the door, he noticed that Vince’s friends were still standing outside the shop, smoking cigarettes. He could hear them talking, even through the glass. 

“I don’t believe any of it,” Connor said to the others, “this isn’t like Vince. He would never stay home to work in the shop. He hates working.”

“Yeah, he’s really changed. He isn’t acting himself at all.”

“He’s been weird ever since he and that jazzy freak got involved.”

“Harold must be the most boring boyfriend in the world. I don’t know what Vince sees in him. He’s probably the one who forces him to stay home every day.”

“Nah, that’s just what any relationship does to you.” Connor said. “It makes you all old and boring. Look at Vince – he doesn’t even go to gigs anymore. His boyfriend has sucked all the fun out of him.”

“And to think that he used to be the funniest one in the group… Such a shame.” 

Howard stepped away from the door, not wanting to hear another word. Oh God, he felt so sorry on Vince’s behalf. He knew that Vince’s friends were wrong and didn’t know the real story, but they did have a point after all: Vince did used to be all fun-loving and outgoing. He used to enjoy gigs, clubbing, getting drunk and dancing at his friends’ parties… He didn’t do any of that anymore. Not because of his and Howard’s relationship, but because of what had happened to him. His confidence had been shattered. He didn’t know how to enjoy himself anymore.

It was breaking Howard’s heart to realise all of this. He had never wanted Vince to change. He had never wanted for him to quit everything that he used to enjoy. He was beginning to wonder if Vince really was as happy as he claimed to be? Was it possible that he was merely pretending to be happy just to keep Howard from worrying? 

Vince seemed more than happy to be with Howard, but perhaps he didn’t have to give up on his old life. He was still young and popular, after all. He had friends all over Camden asking for him, missing him. Howard wanted to be selfish and keep Vince to himself, but it didn’t feel right. 

He had to help Vince rediscover the abandoned parts of the life he had had before. He had to help Vince get out more so that he could enjoy himself and meet people again. It was part of Vince’s person and Howard couldn’t allow him to quit his social life. 

Step one: Talking Vince into leaving the flat. 

Howard left the shop and walked upstairs to find Vince and ask him if he wanted to go out for dinner tomorrow night. But as he reached the bedroom, he found Vince sitting on the bed, crying his eyes out. Sobbing because his friends had been able to feel the change in him. He was officially no longer Vince Noir, rock n’ roll star. He was just someone who had been hurt, broken and defeated. He was just the shadow of his old self, and the realisation was terrifying him. 

As Howard sat down next to him, Vince pressed his face to Howard’s chest and threw his arms around him desperately. Howard shushed him and padded his back, soothingly. 

“It’s okay, baby.” Howard whispered. “You’re okay.”

“I’ve lost all my friends,” Vince wept sorrowfully, “they all think I’m a freak now.”

Howard managed to make his little man stop crying eventually, but he felt like he understood Vince’s fears. He didn’t want to say goodbye to his social life, even if his mates could be well shallow. But he didn’t feel ready to go back out there. Not yet. It was too much. 

The world was a scary place sometimes. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Howard did manage to ask Vince out for dinner eventually. And luckily, Vince agreed. 

“Is it going to be casual, Howard?” Vince asked him almost nervously. “Where is the place? What should I wear? Oh my God, I have no idea what to wear – I haven’t been out in ages!” 

“Not to worry, little man.” Howard soothed him. “You’ve got many lovely outfits. You must have at least five favourite shirts, so why don’t you just pick one of them and wear your drainpipes?” 

Vince fell silent all of a sudden, and his face dropped notably. “I-I don’t know…” He hesitated. “I don’t know if I should be wearing my old outfits. Not outside, I mean. People might look.”

Howard couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But Vince, you love your outfits! And you love it when people admire what you’re wearing. Remember all the compliments you’ve had in the past?” 

Vince almost flinched at this. “Yeah, well, I don’t want to attract attention.” He muttered solemnly. “I don’t want people to look at me anymore. Just you, Howard.”

Howard realised what Vince was trying to tell him. He didn’t want people noticing him and approaching him again. Not after what happened last time he was given a little too much attention. 

“Oh, Vince. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you into something you don’t want.” Howard apologised awkwardly. “It’s just – well, you look so good in those outfits. I miss seeing you like that. It’s your style. It’s so… Vince Noir. The man I love.”

“I know. It’s okay.” Vince said, hugging his boyfriend. “Thanks, Howard, but I don’t know if I’m ready to go back to my sparkling outfits. Not yet. But I still want to wear something that you like. I want to look pretty for you.”

“I always think you look pretty.” Howard said and placed a kiss on the little man’s lips. “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you get yourself some new clothes if you don’t feel like wearing your old ones? We could go down to Topshop this afternoon and find you something. It’s on me.” 

“What? Really?” Vince’s eyes glowed with sudden excitement, and it was making Howard’s heart skip a beat. “Aw, thank you Howard!” Vince tightened the hug and gave the jazz maverick a loving squeeze. “I can’t believe you want to go to Topshop with me! You’ve never offered that before!” 

Howard smiled – this was the reaction that he had hoped for. Oh, the old Vince was still there. 

“You’re welcome, baby. I want you and I to enjoy a good night out together. I think you miss going out just a little bit.”

Vince shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve just enjoyed spending time with you.” He said. “But this is going to be genius, Howard! We can find you something to wear in Topshop as well!” 

“Thanks, little man, but I’ve already got that sorted.” Howard announced proudly. “I found my old tweed jacket in the closet. You know, the nutmeg one. I think it would look good with my brown sandals.” 

Vince shook his head, disbelievingly. He couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Oh, you jazzy freak!” He teased, but Howard could hear the affection in his voice. “Come here.”

Howard bowed his head, and the couple shared another kiss.

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

At Topshop, Vince was admiring a tight raven-black satin shirt with long, elegant sleeves, and a lovely fur coat to go with it. (Fake fur, of course – after all, he was still a zookeeper at heart). Even though he would normally have picked something more colourful, more sparkly and glittery, he knew that he would still look nice and elegant wearing this. Black always suited him. It reminded him of how cool it had been to be a punk for a day. 

Howard seemed to like Vince’s choice when he showed him the clothes. He had tried them on in one of the changing rooms, and they fitted him perfectly. Howard almost couldn’t keep his hands off him, and when Vince had returned to the changing room to get out of the clothes, the maverick had almost followed him inside that small, confined room just to watch. 

“You can watch all you want tonight, baby.” Vince smirked as he left Howard standing on the other side of the curtain. “Why don’t you try something on in the meantime? I found that white shirt that might look good on you.”

Howard took a look at the shirt that Vince was talking about.

“Really? You think I’d look good in it?” Howard asked him. “You like white?”

“Well, it’s better than brown.” Vince grinned. “Come on, Howard, just try it on. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to buy it.” 

Howard shrugged. He guessed it wouldn’t hurt to be a little adventurous for once. He grabbed the white shirt and went into one of the changing rooms himself, hoping that at least the shirt wouldn’t be too tight. He thought that everything in Topshop was ridiculously small-sized. 

Vince finished changing first, and so he decided to wait for Howard by one of the smaller sections of the shop. He hated to admit it, but it still felt weird for him to be out among people. Especially so many of them. He kept looking over his shoulder, praying that he wasn’t doing anything to make people notice him. Whenever he thought that someone was giving him a look, his heart nearly skipped a beat and he wanted to run back to the changing rooms so that he could hide. 

However, all of a sudden it was too late to do that.

“Oh my God, look! It’s Vince!” He heard a voice almost yelling behind him. “Hey, Vince! Here, mate!”

Vince turned around to see a small group of friends that he once used to go to gigs and parties with – and, unfortunately, Topshop as well. 

“Oi, mate – long time no see!” A tall guy said.

“Where the bloody hell ‘ave you been hiding?” Another one said.

“You look good!” A blonde girl added.

“Vince!” A girl with red hair exclaimed as she hugged him. “It’s so good to see you again.”

Vince smiled almost shyly, trying to hide behind his fringe. He almost didn’t know what to say to these people. He hadn’t seen or thought about them in ages. They used to do everything together, but now it felt like he had moved away from all of that. 

“Nice to see you, too,” he grinned, avoiding eye contact with any of them, “funny running into all of you here in… Topshop.”

He felt awkward. He didn’t mean it at all. It wasn’t good to see them. It should be, but it wasn’t. He didn’t feel ready. He felt like his friends could read the shame and embarrassment in his eyes… 

They all chatted away happily, telling Vince what they’d been up to, asking him why he hadn’t been out in so long, inviting him to all sorts of events.

“It’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow,” one of the guys said, “you should come to her party with us.”

“There’s this new gig at the Velvet Onion next week,” one of the girls told him, “wouldn’t it be cool if we all went together? We could go clubbing afterwards…”

“Oh yeah – maybe…” Vince hesitated. He didn’t feel like doing any of that – not at the moment. But he had never learned how to say no to these things. 

“We better be going,” the tall guy said, and Vince felt instantly relieved, “but give me a call, all right mate? Talk to you soon.” 

Vince pretended to like the idea, and he waved goodbye to the small crowd, still feeling awkward. But then, one of the guys stayed behind to chat. Now that Vince was alone with him, it was obvious that something was on his mind. His name was Jamie, and he was a rather good-looking bloke. Vince had even made out with him once, at a party. They had both been drunk and giggling a lot, but Vince had regretted it and backed out of it and they hadn’t talked about it since.

Now Jamie was looking at him, almost suspiciously.

“I haven’t seen you since you started dating your friend with the moustache.” He said. “Is he the one who’s been keeping you at home?” 

Vince was taken aback by the question. “No. I mean, I don’t know… Me and Howard enjoy spending time together.” He then said. 

“I bet.” Jamie snorted.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Vince was eyeing him nervously now.

“Oh come on, Vince, you know what I mean. Howard’s clinging to you. I bet he doesn’t even have other friends than you.”

“He does – he totally does!” Vince blurted out, feeling outraged. “He’s got that Lester Cornflakes character… The one who likes jazz and is always yelling at pigeons.”

Jamie started laughing at this. “That old creep? Yeah, I’m not surprised. He and Howard are a fine match.”

“Howard’s not a creep!” Vince snapped.

“Hey, come on, mate, you know how I’ve always felt about him!” Jamie said loudly. “It’s like I’ve always told you, Howard’s not good enough for a fashionable guy like you. He’s just holding you back, and here’s your proof that I’m right: He doesn’t allow you to spend time with your better-looking friends and have fun. He just wants you to himself.”

“That is not true!” Vince heard himself yelling. “Howard’s good for me – he doesn’t hold me back. He never told me not to see anyone else, I made that decision myself!”

“I don’t believe you.” Jamie taunted. “Come on, why don’t you just dump him already? You could find someone better. Someone younger, handsomer… Someone with a fashion sense.”

“Hey, I don’t need someone with a fashion sense. I love Howard just the way he is – and he’s not old and ugly like you say!” Vince felt like biting the head off his mate. “You just don’t understand him. You don’t see how genius he is.”

“Genius? Vince, you must be joking,” Jamie began laughing again, “come on, how about this. I’ll take you out tomorrow night and I’m gonna find you someone nicer – if you’re absolutely sure that you want to be in a relationship, that is.” 

Vince was so horrified that he could barely put two words together. “How dare you?” He exclaimed almost hysterically. His friends had always joked that he sounded like a woman when his voice got all high-pitched, but he didn’t care. “Howard’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love him – I owe him my life, actually. And if you dare say one more word about him, I swear it’s the last you’ll ever see of me!”

Vince looked furious – his cheeks had gone red and he was practically spitting. Jamie had to take a step back. He couldn’t believe that he was being yelled at like this. He had never before seen Vince this upset over nothing.

“Oi, easy mate – I was only joking!” He tried pathetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know… I didn’t know you felt that way about him.”

“Well I do!” Vince spat once again. “I love him, so you better leave him alone. Go on, spread the word! If anyone else has a go at him, I’ll come at them like a ragamuffin from the streets!” 

“Vince, please, don’t you think that you’re overreacting just a little bit?” 

“No! Howard Moon saved my life, so of course I’m not overreacting!” The words just flew out of Vince’s mouth before he could even stop to think.

Jamie nearly froze for a moment. “What do you mean he saved your life?” He asked, confused as ever.

Vince hesitated. “I had an… accident. And Howard was the one who made sure that I pulled through.” He knew that this was a pretty poor explanation. “So there is nothing I wouldn’t do to defend him.” 

Jamie was actually beginning to look worried now. Vince was so upset that he was shaking, and his friend was giving him a sympathetic stare. He opened his mouth to say something when, suddenly, Howard appeared out of the changing rooms, having heard absolutely everything.

“Howard?” Vince spun around, looking confused as though he had forgotten that his boyfriend was there. When the two faced each other, Howard could see the frustration painted all over the little man’s face, and it made him feel horrible.

Jamie chose that moment to simply run out of the shop, apparently feeling too embarrassed to face Howard after everything that had been said. 

Vince nearly wanted to run after him, just to make him apologise face to face, but he was quickly forced to give up on the idea when Howard laid his hand on his shoulder.

“Vince, it’s okay,” the Northerner soothed him, “never mind him.”

Vince groaned and massaged his temples tiredly. “Oh God, Howard, tell me you didn’t hear…”

“Every word.” Howard nodded. “Vince, I don’t care about anything he said. You defended me. And that means the world to me. Thank you, love.”

“Bloody hell, Howard, don’t thank me!” Vince hissed exhaustedly, struggling to hold back the tears. “How could I not defend you? I mean, if it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t be alive… I owe you everything.”

Howard sensed how Vince’s emotions were taking over, and he pulled the young man in for a hug. He didn’t care if they were standing in the middle of Topshop and everyone was watching them.

“You don’t owe me any more than I owe you.” Howard whispered and pressed a kiss to Vince’s face. “But still, it feels pretty good to have someone sticking up for me.”

Vince sniffled, fighting back the tears bravely. “Howard?”

“Yes, little man?”

“Can we go home now? I don’t like all these people looking at us…”

“Sure thing.” Howard smiled a little sadly. “Let me just buy you those clothes first. They are lovely.”

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

That same night, the couple was seated in a romantic restaurant, enjoying a nice dinner together. And luckily, Vince was in a much better mood. Howard had talked him into doing his hair and putting on his make-up like he used to before, and Vince had to admit that it felt good to be out in public again, carrying out the true style of Vince Noir. It felt good to make an effort. Especially because he knew how much it pleased Howard. Howard couldn’t take his eyes off him. With the elegance of the black satin shirt, the black eyeliner and the root boosted, big hair, Vince felt like he was finally being true to his old self again.

And Howard – Howard was looking so wonderfully handsome, Vince thought. He had ended up buying that white shirt that Vince had recommended, even though Vince had told him he didn’t have to. But it suited him brilliantly. He looked like a perfect gentleman, and Vince fell in love with him all over again.

He was smiling at Howard from across the table as they were eating their desserts and sipping their wine. 

“Thanks for doing this, Howard.” Vince blushed slightly. With the candle lights and the music playing in the background, this was perfectly romantic. “I’ve really enjoyed tonight. You look really great, by the way.”

And then it was Howard’s turn to blush. He wanted to play it cool, especially because Vince was smiling at him like that, but he couldn’t quite keep himself from grinning like a stupid teenager. Was this flirting, he wondered? Oh yes indeed, sir! 

“You look absolutely stunning yourself, Vince.” Howard could feel his palms becoming sweaty. Even though he and Vince had been a couple for about six months now, he still hadn’t learned how to cope whenever Vince was taking his breath away. “You’re very beautiful. And that shirt, I mean… It looks amazing on you, love.”

Howard admired how the fabric was hugging Vince’s lean frame. The shirt was skin tight, sexy, black and classy. He bit his lip hungrily, and suddenly he just wanted to finish his dessert and take his boyfriend home. He wanted to remove the shirt and be reminded of all the beautiful, soft, milky white skin that was underneath it… 

Vince read Howard’s predatory look, and he smirked knowingly. Oh, this was going to be a fun night. 

As the couple were leaving the restaurant, walking arm in arm, they were suddenly stopped by a voice yelling out for them to come back. 

Howard turned his head around, eyeing one of the waiters by the restaurant entrance.

“Hey, sir!” The male waiter called. “Your wife forgot this fur coat!” 

Barely caring that he’d been mistaken for a girl again, Vince gasped: “Oh my God, how could I forget my new coat?” 

He immediately ran back for it, followed by Howard.

“Cheers, mate!” Vince sighed with relief as the waiter handed him the furry coat. He put it on immediately.

“You’re welcome, pretty lady.” The waiter – a short, fat bloke with an American accent – grinned. “I left my phone number inside one of the pockets, just for you.” He winked.

“What?” Vince wasn’t sure that he had heard him right. 

“You’re welcome to call me any time you feel lonely.” The waiter winked again, suddenly grabbing Vince’s hand. “I think you’ll find that I’m good company.”

Vince struggled to silence a scream. The minute that the waiter had reached out to touch him, something inside him snapped, and he had now switched to panic mode. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not again. He wasn’t supposed to let strangers touch him… He knew what that meant.

“What are you doing?” He gasped, struggling to pull his hand back. “Stop that!”

But the American waiter didn’t let go before he had kissed and licked his hand suggestively. 

“Mm, what a sweet, delicate hand you’ve got…” He hummed. “You’re like a princess.”

Vince froze. That was it. He was not allowing this to happen all over again. He began to scream and pull away desperately. He had had enough of crazy freaks. He just wanted to escape and run back to the Nabootique, lock the doors and hide under his and Howard’s bed…

Vince had closed his eyes when he heard Howard shouting from behind him:

“LET GO OF HIM!” 

Half a second later, Howard delivered a punch that sent the waiter staggering backwards, clutching his face. 

“My eye!” He cried. “You idiot, you hit me in the bloody eye!” 

Vince’s jaw dropped, and he looked over at Howard; his boyfriend was towering over the waiter furiously, threatening to punch him again if he ever got near Vince. 

“I’m sorry!” The waiter cried, cowering back. “I’ll never do it again. I’ll leave your pretty wife alone, I swear!”

Howard’s angry little eyes were staring him down, and he looked like he just wanted to kick him.

“Come on, Howard!” Vince said, grabbing the maverick’s arm. “Let’s go.”

Vince started to run, practically dragging Howard with him. He was just desperate to get out of there and get away from people – especially before Howard lost it and delivered more punches. The two of them ran all the way home, not stopping until they reached the Nabootique and had locked themselves in the shop. 

They were both panting and out of breath. 

“I can’t believe you did that!” Vince gasped as he regained the ability to speak first. “You punched him right out, Howard! He didn’t even see it coming. You came at him like a Northern bullet…”

Howard’s face was dead serious. “Yeah, well, he was bothering you. He wouldn’t let you go.” Howard was defending himself even though he didn’t have to. “How could I just stand there and watch?” 

Vince bit his lip. “Thanks, Howard. You really came to my rescue and defended me.”

Howard tried to shrug casually. “Well – you defended me earlier today. We stand up for each other, right? That’s what we do.” 

Vince smiled. “Yeah, but it was cooler the way you did it. You really are my hero.”

He walked up to his boyfriend and placed his arms around Howard’s middle. The couple looked each other in the eyes for a moment, and Howard raised both hands to hold Vince’s head gently. 

“I’m yours.” Vince smiled lovingly. “No one else can ever have me.”

Howard returned the smile. “You are mine.” He agreed. 

Vince could feel a tingling in his stomach. He knew what was about to happen in a moment or two.

“I am fucking yours.” He grinned mischievously and pressed himself closer up against Howard, seductively. 

Howard leaned in ‘till the tip of his nose was almost touching Vince’s. “You… are… fucking... mine.” He whispered in a deep voice, bringing Vince’s head even closer to his.

The next thing, the couple had engaged themselves in a deep kiss that was sweeping Howard off his feet and making Vince’s knees go soft. They were biting each other’s lips, tearing at each other’s clothes, staggering towards the stairs. In a matter of seconds, they managed to enter their bedroom and shut the door behind them. 

Howard picked Vince up and threw him down on the bed eagerly. Then he hovered over him, pausing to admire the beauty with the raven-black hair, the big blue eyes and the touchable skin, and those narrow, fuckable hips… 

“Come on, Howard,” Vince begged, squirming on the bed with excitement, “I’m yours – so claim me!”

And so he did. As Howard mounted him like a wild beast, Vince threw his head back and held on to his broad back, enjoying the sensation of hot, naked skin against his own. Howard reached out for the lube without wasting another second, and soon he was pounding into the body beneath him. 

Vince moaned and spasmed incoherently as Howard was moving in and out of him, as if trying to fuck him through the matrass. Finally – FINALLY – Howard was no longer scared to touch him and to lose control. Oh, it was even wilder and even more passionately feral than Vince could ever have dreamed of. 

Howard pulled out and flipped him over so that Vince was lying on his stomach, picking him up as though he didn’t weigh anything at all. Vince bit his lip, adoring Howard’s strength. Howard then hoisted Vince up to his hands and knees, raising his arse in the air at the same time. Before Vince even knew what hit him, Howard was all the way up inside him again, ploughing him, penetrating him, hammering himself further into him even when he was already balls-deep. Vince’s fingernails dug into the sheets, and he gasped and panted breathlessly. Howard’s big, rough hands were holding his hips in place, but he was soon reaching forward until he was able to grab Vince’s hair carefully. Vince let out a surprised, but excited yelp and consequently, Howard clasped his free hand against Vince’s mouth, silencing him.

“You like it when I pay attention to your hair, baby?” Howard groaned and chuckled. He enjoyed seeing Vince like this. He enjoyed feeling brave enough to do these things, and to be able to pleasure his boyfriend. 

Vince couldn’t answer with Howard’s hand over his mouth, but instead, he began to lick Howard’s fingers affectionately. 

Howard smiled and bend down to press a quick kiss against Vince’s shoulder. Then he sped up his pace as he pounded into the smaller man vigorously. He removed the hand from Vince’s hot lips and moved it down to pump his cock instead. And this action had Vince crying out loudly and dropping down to his elbows, barely able to hold himself up as the pleasure overwhelmed him. 

Vince came first, yelling out Howard’s name unintelligibly. He could still feel Howard moving around inside him, and his body began to shiver from all the sensations. He managed to hold himself up while Howard thrust into him almost frantically, but as soon as Howard came – crying out with delight – Vince collapsed exhaustedly, and Howard flattened down on top of him as well. The couple laid there for a moment or two, panting for air and feeling the sweat drip off both their bodies. 

Then Howard pulled out gently, and Vince moaned, sounding just a little disappointed. However, Howard didn’t intend to break the bodily contact – he bowed down to kiss Vince’s forehead, letting his fingers play with the black locks of hair for a moment. Vince rolled on to his side and purred happily. 

“I love you, Howard.” Vince grinned. “Look at me, I’m a sweaty mess but I don’t care. That was the best sex I’ve ever had. I love you.”

Howard smiled down at the “sweaty mess” that he had created. Vince was looking up at him with those big, shiny blue eyes. His hand now let go of his hair and went down to caress Vince’s face instead.

“Are you sure that it’s not just my dick that you love?” Howard teased him friskily, and Vince pulled a face, laughed and pretended to kick him. 

“Look who’s all cocky now!” Vince mocked him and shook his head, grinningly. 

“Howard Moon, Sex God.” Howard suggested proudly, and his face lit up like he had just come up with something brilliant. “How does that sound?” 

“Ridiculous.” Vince snorted. Sure, he loved Howard. But he would never stop teasing him whenever he said something daft. Howard needed someone to tease him, that was just how they worked. 

“Yeah well, I’m still able to make you moan out my name!” Howard teased back, prodding Vince with his elbow. 

The couple ended up kissing once more – sloppier this time. They both laid back down on the bed, feeling absolutely spent. Howard pulled the duvet over both their bodies when he noticed the goosebumps appearing on Vince’s skin. He was starting to feel a little cold himself. Under the covers, Vince snuggled into him and Howard held him close, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Another blissful week went by in the Nabootique. Vince continued to ignore invites and requests from old friends as he still didn’t feel ready to return to his social life. He just wanted to spend his time by Howard’s side, living the safe and peaceful life of an ordinary London shopkeeper. Which was fine by Howard.

But Naboo on the other hand… The shaman soon began to grow tired of seeing the happy couple’s faces anywhere he walked in the flat. Howard and Vince were inseparable; they ate together, showered together, worked together, did the dishes together, watched the telly together – and they slept together – loudly – every single night. It was really testing his and Bollo’s patience. The shaman and his familiar were used to a quiet night’s sleep, unless Vince came home drunk and needed to be guided upstairs. But even when this was the case, they still used to be able to sit at the table and eat or smoke in peace without having to watch their flat mates tongue each other.

Naboo decided that it was time to separate the two of them. Just a little bit. As long as Howard was there to protect him every minute of every day, Vince would never grow out of his fear of the world outside his window.

Naboo walked into the kitchen one morning where Howard and Vince were sat, not eating their breakfast, but poking each other and giggling like teenage girls. 

“All right, you two,” the shaman stood in front of the table to get their attention, “I’ve had enough of this. You’ve grown too dependent on each other and it’s now so bad that you’re refusing to spend time with other people.”

“Aw, come on Naboo, that’s not even true!” Vince moaned. “I was watching the telly with Bollo just yesterday!”

“Yeah, but you only agreed to do it if Howard could join ya.” Naboo told him off. “Bollo complained to me afterwards, said he didn’t want Howard around every time you and him do stuff together.” 

“Oi!” Howard butted in. “What does he mean he doesn’t want me around?” 

“Stay out of this, Howard.” Naboo merely ignored him. “Vince, you can’t depend on Howard like this. It’s not good for ya. You used to have so many friends. Remember how fun that was? You’ve got to stop hidin’ in the flat every single day. Otherwise you’ll turn into… Well, Howard. And I can’t have two Howards living here.”

“Oi!” Howard protested again. “I’ve got friends as well, I’ll have you know! Nothing wrong with copying my lifestyle.”

Naboo just rolled his eyes. “Whatever! Vince, I’m serious, you know. You will go out with your friends tonight and spend some time apart from Howard, or I’ll ring everyone you know and have them come here to pick you up. Your choice.”

“But – but… Naboo, I can’t!” Vince exclaimed, sounding almost frightened. “Not tonight! I mean, me and Howard were gonna write a new crimp an’ everything.”

“Well, Howard can’t make it tonight either,” Naboo insisted, “because he’s going to spend a night out as well. I guess he’ll be going to that Lester Cornflakes’ place. I don’t see any other options. You’ve really got to meet some new people, Howard.”

Howard was now sulking, insisting that Lester Corncrakes wasn’t his only friend, but Naboo wasn’t having any of it. 

“It has been decided,” the shaman said, “and don’t you dare contemplate on staying at home instead, because me and Bollo will be ready to kick you out of the flat.”

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Around eight o’clock that evening, Naboo made sure that Vince was all dressed and ready to go. The electro boy had complained that he didn’t know what to wear and that his makeup didn’t look right, but that was obviously just an excuse. 

“But Naboo, I don’t want to go clubbing,” Vince tried one last time, “those places are always so crowded, and people get well grabby when they’re in a dark room together.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Vince,” Naboo lisped, “just stay close to your friends and you’ll be fine. You’ve done this a million times before.”

Naboo had inspected Vince’s fading scars one last time before letting him go, prodding them to make sure that there was no internal pain. The shaman knew that he no longer had to worry that Vince’s health was in trouble, but since he was actually sending him out of the house, he had better make sure to double-check everything. 

Vince’s group of friends picked him up in their car, and Vince kissed Howard’s cheek one last time before going with them. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Howard had soothed him, “you’ll be fine, Vince.”

“I guess.” Vince had sort of sighed. “I just wish that you could have come with us.”

“I know, but,” Howard hesitated, “Naboo really seems to think that it’s important for us to spend a night apart. Maybe we should just get it over with.” 

Howard watched Vince walk out the door to meet his friends, and as they all drove away together, Howard couldn’t help but to feel slightly worried. What if it was all too much for Vince to handle at the moment? What if he had a panic attack, or what if someone tried to come on to him again? Howard preferred being there to watch him and to make sure that everything was okay. But Naboo had said that Vince used to be just fine on his own and that he had always known how to look after himself. Howard just needed to give him some space so that he could be given a chance to prove his independence. 

Howard was also kicked out of the flat, so he went to spend the night with Lester Corncrakes, like he had said he would. Lester seemed happy to see him – well, maybe not see him, but at least to have Howard around again.

“Howard Moon, you crack me up!” Lester laughed breathlessly as he put on one of their old favourite jazz records. “You were the last person I ever pictured to be in a relationship.”

“Yeah? Why is that?” Howard asked him, trying not to take offense. 

“You know, men of our age don’t just go out there and find themselves some nice eye candy! With one foot in the grave, what’s the bloody point of falling in love?” Lester joked, slapping his thighs with laughter.

“Yeah, well, we’re not actually the same age, are we now, Lester?” Howard sulked. It was nice to be with a friend again, but he sure hadn’t missed the insults. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

Inside a trendy club in Dalston, Vince returned from the dancefloor, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Were these clubs really supposed to be this hot? And had these places always been this crowded? He didn’t remember. He had been dancing with his friends for some time now, and it had been great fun – until the dancefloor had become too crowded and Vince had accidentally bumped into another man. Vince had apologised awkwardly and the man had just given him some sort of wink. Vince panicked and made it back to the bar, not wanting anything like that to happen again.

He bought himself another flirtini before settling down next to a small group of girls that he knew.

“Vince!” Yelled the girl with the red hair that he had also bumped into in Topshop, and she hugged him again. “I’m so glad that you’re here.”

“Good to see you again,” one of the other girls agreed and raised her glass to welcome him, “you’ve been gone for far too long.”

“Everyone’s been asking about you.” A brunette girl added. “Where the bloody hell have you been hiding?” 

An hour later, Vince was still sitting at the bar, drinking flirtinies and talking to the girls. In fact, more girls had joined the group now, and they were all looking at him with eyes full of awe and excitement as Vince was telling them all about his and Howard’s relationship. 

“Howard’s the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Vince told them truthfully, “he always looks out for me, and he’s really gentle. He’s really big and strong, yeah? So he sometimes picks me up and carries me to bed if I’ve fallen asleep on the sofa.” 

All the girls were aww’ing and padding Vince’s arm, eager to hear more about this Howard Moon. 

“He always cups my face when he kisses me. And even though he’s got a moustache and no dress sense whatsoever, he’s still really handsome.” Vince blushed. “He’s got small eyes like a shrimp, but they’re chocolate brown and really pretty. That’s how we work, big eyes and small eyes.”

Admiring Vince’s blue ones, the redhead placed her hand on Vince’s knee. “It sounds like the two of you make a really perfect couple.” She said. “You have to bring him one day so that we can all meet him.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Vince told her, “see, Howard really hates places like this. The only music that he’ll listen to is jazz, and he doesn’t like staying up later than eleven o’clock.” 

“Well,” one of the other girls added, “then we’ll have to meet him somewhere else.”

“Yeah,” Vince smiled, “I think he would really enjoy that.”

“Oi – Vince mate!” One of his male friends called all of a sudden, returning from the dancefloor as well. “Catching up with the girls, eh?” He grinned and winked suggestively. 

“Stop winking, Peter,” a blonde girl told him almost defensively, “Vince has been telling us about his boyfriend, and it’s well romantic!” 

“Oh, enough with the romantic nonsense,” Peter said, “come on, Vince, let’s go have another dance. Let me buy you one more drink, mate.”

Vince finished his talk with the girls, promising them that they would all meet Howard really soon, and he went back to dancing with his other mates. Peter brought Vince a colourful drink, and as they were drinking and dancing, Vince could feel himself loosen up. 

Then he noticed Jamie walking towards him. Vince hadn’t seen him since the incident in Topshop. He wondered if Jamie had even told anyone else that Vince had been yelling at him. 

And just like that, Vince began to miss Howard really badly. When he thought back on the time when he and Jamie had once kissed on the dancefloor and flirted heavily, he knew that that wasn’t what he ever wanted to go back to. None of his flirts had ever made him feel happy, but just a hug from Howard could make his day. Howard made him feel safe and loved. Howard didn’t just kiss him and then ignore him the next day. Howard was the real deal. 

“Vince,” Jamie was now standing right in front of him, trying to pull Vince away from the crowd, “can I talk to you for a moment?” 

Vince followed Jamie outside the club where it would be much easier to talk. Vince didn’t really fancy talking to Jamie after that embarrassing fight the other day, but he was sick and tired of running away from everything and everyone. 

“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.” Jamie told him when they were alone and the music wasn’t bothering them anymore. “I crossed the line the other day. I shouldn’t have said those things about Howard when I know that he’s your boyfriend.”

Vince was trying not to sulk. “No, you shouldn’t.” He agreed. “But I lost my head too, I suppose. I didn’t need to yell like I did.”

“You were angry. You had every right.” Jamie fell silent. Then he added: “I just can’t stand the thought of you hating me, Vince. We used to be so close. I really am sorry for upsetting you.”

That was it. Vince couldn’t help but to smile. “It’s all right.” He gave Jamie a flashy grin. “Let’s just put it behind us, yeah?” 

The two friends gave each other a quick hug, but then Jamie said:

“Listen, mate, I gotta ask you… Is it really true that you had an accident that could have killed ya? And that Howard saved your life?” 

Vince pretty much froze at these words, but he knew that it was his own fault for ever telling Jamie about this. 

“I won’t tell anyone,” Jamie then told him as Vince hesitated, “I promise.”

Vince nodded. “Yeah, it’s true. The thing is, I kind of… got hurt, and it was really bad. It left me ill for a long time. Look, I’ll tell you about it some day when I’m ready. But Howard really did save my life. I do owe him everything.” 

“In that case, I feel even worse about what I said.” Jamie looked down at his feet, awkwardly. “Listen, mate, I gotta tell you – I’ve noticed that you’ve been looking pretty uncomfortable all night. Like you don’t really want to be here.” 

Vince shrugged. It wasn’t that he hadn’t enjoyed seeing all his friends again. He just sort of wished that he could have brought Howard with him. He still didn’t feel right walking around on his own.

“It’s my first night away from Howard,” Vince admitted, “ever since he saved my life, it’s been really difficult being apart from him.”

Vince sometimes hated himself for being so honest. He dreaded that Jamie was going to make fun of him now, but there was no laughter whatsoever. 

“Then don’t be apart from him.” Jamie said in all seriousness. 

“What?” Vince looked up confusedly. 

“I can tell that you really love him, mate. I think that you two are lucky to have each other. If you’re not ready to be apart from him yet, then don’t be.” Jamie offered him a sincere smile. “Don’t waste your evening here, Vince. Go home to him. I’m sure he misses you, too.”

Vince fought back his emotions as he leapt forward and threw his arms around Jamie.

“Cheers.” He said in a slightly shaky voice. “Thanks, Jamie, I really needed to hear that.”

Jamie smiled and padded his back. “If I had had a Howard to go home to, I would have done the same thing.” He said. 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

In the meantime, Howard had just left Lester Corncrakes’ place. He knew that he had left embarrassingly early, but he just had that feeling in his stomach that he wasn’t truly enjoying himself. He had spent every minute just looking at the clock – which, thankfully, Lester hadn’t been able to see him do – and he had found himself just wondering, worrying, what Vince might be doing, who he was with and if he was enjoying himself. 

Basically, he couldn’t stop thinking about Vince, so he decided that he might as well go back to the flat and wait for him to come home later. Maybe he could watch some telly and keep himself busy that way. 

Just as Howard turned around the corner and walked towards the Nabootique, though, he saw the figure of a young man in high heels, wearing a sparkly jump suit, coming from the opposite side of the street. 

“Oh my God,” Howard spoke to himself quietly, and then he called out, “Vince!”

The younger man looked up and caught sight of the jazz maverick immediately.

“Howard!” He gasped.

And just like that, Vince was running towards him. Howard stood ready to pick him up and embrace him laughingly, twirling him around in the air for a second. Vince held on to him and rested his forehead against Howard’s chest, savouring the swelling, happy sensation in his own.

“Howard, what are you doing here?” He heard himself asking with astonishment in his voice. “I thought you’d be at Lester’s all night!”

“And I thought you’d be in some fancy night club with your friends.” Howard merely laughed.

“Well, I was, but…” Vince found himself blushing.

Howard paused and pulled away momentarily as he took a serious look at his boyfriend. “Vince, are you okay? Did something happen? Did anyone –“

“Howard, stop, I’m fine!” Vince smiled up at him. “It was all good, but… To be honest, I missed you too much. And then I met Jamie again, and he apologised and he was being all nice, and he was the one who told me to go find you because I shouldn’t waste time being apart from you…”

Vince paused to watch Howard’s reaction. Howard was looking happy to hear this.

“I like Jamie a lot better now.” He smirked. 

“My friends really want to meet you, Howard.” Vince said. “I’ve been talking about you so much to them. I think they are going to invite you to come along next time. And then I won’t have to go out on my own anymore.”

“Sounds good to me, little man.” Howard said sincerely. “I’d love to meet your friends.”

“So why are you not at Lester’s?” Vince quizzed him eagerly. “He didn’t die, did he?”

“Vince!” Howard said with a hint of blame in his voice. “Lester’s doing just fine, thank you very much. But honestly, well… I missed you too. And you were all that I could think about. I didn’t even feel that happy when we listened to all the jazz records.”

“Howard, do you not like jazz anymore?” Vince gasped.

“Don’t be silly, of course I do.” Howard was cupping Vince’s face in his hand. “But it wasn’t the same. I didn’t feel ready to be away from you. And you know, Lester’s an old man. He’s not as funny as he used to be. He was… He was falling asleep in his chair after just one hour.”

Vince couldn’t keep himself from laughing, but Howard didn’t mind. 

“I don’t care,” the Northerner said, “because it meant that I got to come back and see you.”

Howard was caressing Vince’s cheeks now, and Vince was leaning in to his touch. 

“How lucky.” The electro boy smiled coyly. 

“We are very lucky.” Howard murmured.

He leant forward and caught Vince’s lips with his own. Vince moaned and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his neck. It felt weird to stand outside, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the street and make out with Howard. But Vince didn’t even care if anyone saw them. It felt wonderful. It felt safe. 

“Let’s get you inside.” Howard whispered after about a minute’s time. “You’re only wearing that suit, you must be freezing.” 

 

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

 

It was about two in the morning when Naboo and Bollo parked their carpet outside the Nabootique and went inside the flat. They had just come back from a meeting with the other shamans, and Naboo felt well ready to smoke some hookah and then go straight to bed. 

“You think Howard and Vince are having a good time on their own?” Naboo asked his familiar as he was making himself a cup of tea in the kitchen. 

Bollo had entered the living room as he wanted to watch some telly before bed, but now he was walking in the kitchen with a slightly awkward look on his face.

“Uhh,” the gorilla grunted hesitantly, “Bollo think Harold and precious Vince are having a good time. But not on their own.”

Naboo frowned. “What do you mean not on their own?” 

And then the gorilla guided the shaman towards the living room, pointing to the two limp figures who had fallen asleep on the sofa, under the blankets, with the TV still lighting up the dark room. 

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Naboo cursed under his breath, but before he had the chance to shake the two ballbags awake and yell at them for not going through with the plan, Bollo laid his giant monkey hand on his shoulder and shushed him.

“Look!” Bollo whispered and pointed again. “Harold and precious Vince happy.” 

With the blankets wrapped around their bodies, Vince was curled up in Howard’s lap, resting his head on the older man’s thighs. Howard had an arm draped around the young man’s waist in an almost protective manner, holding his body as close to him as possible. They both had that peaceful look on their faces which revealed a genuine happiness – a satisfaction with letting things stay the way they were. It was like watching two children, stubbornly holding on to their favourite person in the whole world, not intending to let go no matter what other people said.

This was warm. This was good, and it felt just right.

And perhaps, they didn’t really need to let go, Naboo thought. So what if Vince was depending on Howard and they both struggled to even spend one night apart? As long as they worked together, they didn’t need to worry so much about working on their owns. Who cared about other people and whatever opinions they might have? This was something vulnerable, but precious, and Naboo realised that he would never do anything to change the nature of a relationship that had been built on such a solid and strong friendship. 

They obviously belonged together, so why not allow them to fall asleep together on the sofa, in their home, away from cynics and potentially harmful people out there? After all, the world could be such a cruel and heartless place, and if you could find protection somewhere, it was best to seek it. 

As he and Bollo turned off the TV and went back into the kitchen without waking them up, Naboo realised just how lucky Howard and Vince were to finally have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading!   
> I would love to write more fics over the summer, I just need a little inspiration :) XxX


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